- All
Comments (3) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
A beautiful poem
of perception. An interesting look at the beauty of spring and the obsession of love. Life is so much more stunning when the heart is full.
The structure of the poem works well, but at the beginning, I think you might consider dropping the word "with" at the end of line 2. Typically you want to avoid breaking a line on a preposition:
"This is the beloved
simplicity of days with
early, green grass growing
out of the brown of winter dead,"
If you slightly altered lines 2 and 3 I think it would read slightly better...
"This is the beloved
simplicity of days
early, green grass grows
out of the brown of winter dead,"
Read it outloud, and see how it sounds. Otherwise the poem resounded so true. Well done.
jim : )
"With" out??
Or you could stick the "with" between "early" and "green" and alter the meaning a tad.
Good imagery in any event, very readable and enjoyable.
Wonderful
Nice imagery
and no, spring doesn't alaways bring magic
but it does make you think..and that will make you write
: )
Thank you
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to The Magic I Need or
More submissions by dreamsweet.