All Comments on 'Real Love'

by TinaaT92

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  • 5 Comments
redlion75redlion75over 7 years ago

proofreading helps get rid of sleeve bag guys.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
POV issues

You slip from first pov to third pov throughout the whole story. Names should always be capitalized. It was an okay story, no real connection to either character, because there's something missing within the flow of your writing. Proofreading and an editor's extra set of eyes could help you with the mechanics of your writing. Don't give up!

Tw0Cr0wsTw0Cr0wsover 7 years ago
don't and do

Don't give up, you have some ability as a storyteller.

Do get an editor and proofreader, there are a lot of mistakes some other eyes would catch for you.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago

"So Domi and I decided that tonighr we are all going to find Bice gentleman and not the sleeve bags we always run into. I'm getting older and my body is ready for some real loving and you know what I mean T. That is our mission tonight okay?"

I stopped there, honestly, did you even proof read it? And use names not letters for people, it gets mighty annoying.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
I understood

You have talent, don't pay much attention to negative comments. Keep writing, find someone to help you, and you will become better.

Anonymous
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