Jessica Takes Control Ch. 02

so far so good

but as a few others have already stated you need to try and make the chapters a bit longer.

***I need to see some ID the man told Jessica, you have to be 21 to enter.***

What's wrong with this? No quotation marks. No stoppage of dialog and then continuation of it. Then we have this.............

***"That's ok Jessica replied, my mother is going to do all the buying, aren't you Mother?"***

Quotation marks, but then nothing to show stoppage of dialog and continuation of it.

Do you even read what you write, or is this how you learned basic English Literature?

Where's the rest?,

Oh my god I need the next chapter!

Good read

Enjoyed the start of this story but need longer chapters and more of mom servicing daughter but this could be a nice series of daughter controlling mom.

More chapters please.

Really???? Quotation marks?? ***THIS IS FOR ANONYMOUS****

***THIS IS FOR ANONYMOUS**** In case you haven't noticed this is a site for basically AMATEUR writers to post their stories and fantasies. Key word is AMATEUR!!!! And last time I looked this site is FREE!!! So if you want to bitch and moan about grammar, then go pay for a book where you will have professional writers to bitch at. ALSO and most importantly,, in case you did not notice, most of the writers are NOT from the US so they have different writing styles AND different usage of various words. Hell some don't even know American English, much less the slang terms we use. One story I read the author said that they were from South Carolina, and all throughout the story they used the word "arse". I have spent a lot of time in SC and NEVER heard anyone say "arse". But at least they try to give some entertainment in their stories. If something bothers you, do what I do, and go read a different story. There are THOUSANDS to choose from. Just my never to be humble opinion.