And the Winner Is?

Let Us Know Where Your Work Appears

If you go off to commercial publication good for you, not so good for LW! I like most of your stories, not all. If you use a different name for your commercial work can you let us know what it is? I like your stuff well enough that I would at least want to take a look at it, but won't be able to find you if you don't reach out and let us know your publication name.

Good luck, you seem like a mature and reasonable person.

And just think, anon doesn't believe this writer knows who Alvin York was...LOL . Interesting story. I enjoyed it. Good luck to you on going commercial. Don't forget us little people here who bitched, complained, threatened, and disparaged plus the others who actually tried to help.

Real V Fantasy

A perfect story that shows us that sometimes it is better to let your fantasies die unrealised

what a sick story and mind that wrote this pile of shit

IF some of you dumb shits read this pile of claptrap your just as fucked up in the head as Carvohi is, go back to reading the back of cereal boxes, then maybe you'll regain some of your sanity. For one thing a teenage boy that infatuated with a girl that he believes is love, watches weekend after weekend as his best friend fucks her in the backseat of HIS car that's one sick puppy. I know if it were me or any of my friends, we would be out of love with her in a hurry. Believe me when I say there were girls like Arlene in my day, but nobody wanted to marry her, we would actually be embarrassed to be seen in public with her, no matter how pretty she is,after the way Jason treated her making her go in to restaurants with dry cum in her hair on her cloths and on her face, Jason knocks her up, of course he doesn't want to marry the slut so he joins the navy, so in steps dumb fuck Calvin. She tells him she's pregnant but he's not the father he's okay with that he marries her and they live with his mother a baby girl is born, he is happy that he's a daddy, but she tells him there will be no more babies, I guess baby making is reserved for Jason. Any how after 15 years of marriage and being a stay at home wife and mother, she all of a sudden has things to do in the evening. YEP Jason back in town. After about a month or so she tells dumb fuck Calvin she loves him but she isn't in love with him, never was, she love Jason she and Charlotte are moving in with him, Charlotte says I don't think so, Calvin says I don't think so, she moves in with Jason then she brings the big fat pig over to claim his daughter, what an asshole, I mean him and her. She choose to cheat and move in with a man that is nothing but pond scum. Any guy that would make a girl go out in public with his cum on her hair face and cloths is actually lower the pond scum. when she came crawling back begging Calvin to take her back my first inclination was that he just piss on her and send her back to the fat pig, but you what I changed my mind, I knew girls like Arlene in high school and I could never understand why she would let a guy treat her lower then dirt and they would worship the ground they walked on, where as another guy would treat her with respect and treat her like human being, and a lady the way ever woman should be treated, they don't even acknowledge him. But I think Calvin now wasn't so head over heals in love with Arlene, I think he was head over heal in love with the fact that he was a father , and he love his baby dearly, and he would let the slut back in to their home and life just to make his baby happy so she could have a family again. When I started writing this post I was a for btb but the more I taught about and what I recalled from my school days I was reminded of that question that always puzzled me, because we never know what another person is thinking in their mind and in their heart, so I gotta say good on you Carvohi I know there are some mistakes in the post but I'm a one finger guy so please forgive me.

Yep, should have gone with Carolyn.

Very good, almost real

My cousin's husband left her and returned saying he had made a mistake. She told him no, he had made two mistakes and closed the door on him.

Dangerous precedent

Realism in a story. That things should come to this.

Well done man.

Makes sense. The entire marriage was childish.

Obsession isn't love and they both had a lot of growing up to do. Jason's return made that happen. To those who want to pitch fits, you'll note the hero of this story starts off as a complete dick who treats his girlfriends like shit because he's too busy ogling his asshole best friend while the guy is treating the love of his life like a dumb slut. I feel the most sympathy for that Carolyn chick. Marriage doesn't make people into adults, sadly.

4

Married for what, 14 years and he doesnt knock her up and have a kid (geneticall) together too?? WTF is the workd coming too.

Life

Ain't life a bitch? I think this is a good story, a few errors , but a good story nevertheless. It takes a real man to take a kid that he knows is not his and raise it as their own. That, my friends, is love.

Very Interesting Tale

Without worrying about right or wrong we can state that I sounds very much like real
life. She went nuts, but he still likes his little, as long as HIS daughter can put up
with her! Thanks!

It's a five star.

In the real world, I wish he'd stay until the daughter graduated from H. S. And then leave the wife like she left him. Alas, it's not real life, but it's one of your usually good stories.

well

Makes you wonder.

Great job on the story.

I guess the only question I have is why it took her so long to see that the fantasy was not anything like the reality she was letting screw her. Any woman in her right mind would have figured out that ship had sailed after a few drinks and conversations. But, that said, not a bad story and the daughter seems to be the smartest one in the whole family.

One of the more clever camouflaged cuck stories. But you should add Cuckold to the tags.

Pretty much a standard cuckold story. Girl friend knew she was pregnant with another man's child months before she tells her boyfriend. The cuck marries the bitch anyway and both partners play pretend marriage until the biological father finally returns. Then the stupid bitch becomes a lying betraying whore, again for some months, all the while the cuckold knows something is not right but lacks the balls and courage to immediately confront the wife. Finally it takes the wife having the balls to announce her adultery and her plan to abandon the cuck completely, taking the daughter he helped raise. What was different from other cuck stories is the time intervals between the humiliation and abandonment. But its still the same behavior and sentiment. The wife did not give a shit about the husband once her bull was back in town. And the wimp would have taken whatever the wife dished out if the daughter had decided to leave too.

So the wimp simply got lucky. His daughter rejected the bull, then the wife finally (so what took so long?) figured out the bull was just bullshit. So this wimp is responsible for nothing positive that occurred. The rest of their lives may end up wonderful. Or the bull may get his act together, lose weight, improve his attitude, initiate a relationship with his daughter, and then just wait until the daughter has moved out. At which time Arlene will be experiencing her midlife crisis, the bull will seduce her back to being his cum slut, and the cuckold wimp will be left with tears in his eyes and his limp dick in his hands. Based on your story and the characters you created I think its a coin toss. Still just another timid cuckold wimp, left hoping for the best, and having no clue how to make that happen.

A well told disgusting story.

Rita?

Rita never said a word! Charlotte did!

Yeah, I think ANON 'five stars' had a good compromise! Get daughter through high school, then re-assess. AND, tell Sweetie, up front, that that would be the deal. Separate bedrooms, and Sweetie would have to ask Hubby to visit her. With the re-assessment coming up in a few years, Sweetie would know the pressure is on her to keep Hubby happy! I would tell her that, anytime she didn't feel 'in love' again, she was welcome to move out to Jason (or anybody else,) but the post-nup would go into effect!

Otherwise, Sweetie would appreciate being 'taken back' for several weeks, then start thinking she deserved it anyway, and that Hubby was really needy. In other words, Hubby had earned, from double-dating years to the present, the fact that Sweetie was never 'in love' with him!

Probably needed another page of the 'post-reality check' decade!

Not

Not real life said an anonymous commentator, I suspect he/she has led a very sheltered life. A chain of events involving the son of a neighbour many years ago are to incredible to be true but they are true, perhaps I should forward this tale of events to carvohi and let him run with them, truth really is stranger than fiction. Good yarn carvohi, liked it.

They Grew Up

Finally they both grew up. Then they made a grown-up decision. What's so hard to understand?

Good story.

Not a great story, but a good one, well and honestly told. Thanks.

I love BTB stories

But this one makes feel good story... Glad the daughter had a say in what would be in the house till she leaves for collage. As always thanks for the story. I do not think the story would end the same as it did if I was her husband :)

put this shit in fetish

Wanted to quit at the car dates. Should have. Didn't get past the pregnant part.

carvohi is just a cuck at heart. 0/5

A moron and a loser

Wimpiest 'man' in history. The wife goes away and comes back in 3 paragraphs. Just bad.

Why this is a 'bad' story

You presented an immature and flakey wife that realized what an ass she was. This is not allowed. Once a cheater, always a cheater. There are no options allowed. You know, growing and realizing mistakes IS NOT ALLOWED. One demerit
You presented a husband that played some mind games with his wife, the wife that after so many years resented it. You know, having the perfect hero not be perfect IS NOT ALLOWED. One demerit
You presented an imperfect marriage. You know, having the perfect husband in the perfect marriage REQUIRED. One demerit
You presented imperfect people, from imperfect backgrounds that made imperfect decisions and got married for imperfect reasons AND STAYED TOGETHER FOR IMPERFECT REASONS, another demerit.
For presenting a real slice of life that presented real imperfect people making mistakes, making amends, learning from their lives and mistakes... I can only give you a 5. Thanks for the read. I'm imperfect too.

the way it was set up there was no way for it to work out

all of the adults were so seriously flawed a happy home life was not possible. the only character with any socially redeeming value was the daughter.

once again Carvohi PROVES to all WHY he sucks so bad and is way over rated

thus story features an mentally disturbed man that is stupid obessive shallow and disgusting. The KEY is that even outside of Jason the wife nevrr loved him... She tolerated him. She knew that the husband had this obesssion going on with her... So the entire marriage is unbalanced

but worst of all WHY would anyone WANT to write such a story?

carvohi getting a literary agent? LOL LOL LOL

this author does not know the difference between alvin york vs alvin the chipmunk

Still Don't Understand........

While I wasn't much of a fan of this story, I don't understand why unpublished critics like Harry VA, bash the author rather then the story. It was 2 pages so if Harry VA didn't like it, why did he read it to the end??? If I have a critical comment/suggestion I add a comment, If I don't like a story I give my opinion by voting or just abandon it before the end and move on to a story I enjoy.

agent? publishing? LOL

go with my blessing. you'll not be missed.

Writing is ok..

But this was pretty stupid.

Very good fantasy on a daughter making up with her Mom

Carvohi writes a good fantasy. My take is that Charlotte should have looked at her Mom on her return and shrugged -'go away.' But in the real world teens grapple with life trying to find out who they are and the meaning of life and do exactly what Charlotte did.

i really enjoyed the practicality and realism

my favorite part: the dispelling of the delusional spouses' fantasies. thank you!

Ugh...

A little bit to cucky and pathetic.

Couldn't sympathize with your male character and your female did something truly disturbing and disgusting without any repercussions. Not even therapy?

She was one disturbed cheating slut.

Pathetic

You created cardboard characters. Your male character has the personality of a toad and the backbone of a jellyfish.1*

Winners?

I guess there are no winners here. The husband has low expectations, the wife has no integrity. Living for the children (child) is a time-honored occupation, though. The mom they lived with was never seen, and they moved out without any consideration for her. I suppose she argued about how to raise Charlotte because they were under her roof. The beginning and end, waiting for the daughter to get off work, was odd- she comes out smiling and that means she accepts her mother coming back and all is well? To simple. I guess I never felt much empathy for anyone in the story, even the daughter who, after learning her dad isn't who she thinks it is and the mother is faithless, just wants to go to dance class.

Long time fan who just started commenting. After I read your post and read the comments....there seems to be a disconnect between the readers and what writing is about. Perhaps...just perhaps...you should disallowed comments here. It's like the old adage, " It's not you...it's me!" Other writer have done this. Maybe they should have a section in Literotica that has a " no boner or wet pussy section ". The way some idiots make comments here...well..is just messed up. Thanks again for adding another wonder story.

Always the ending that suffers

when you try to limit the length of the story. An epilogue is often sign that the writing finished before the story ended. Good tale with a good premise, just didn't seem to go anywhere at the end.

let's see

Guy watches slut get screwed by other guy in backseat of his car where he and his dates witness whole thing. Her boyfriend leaves and he cannot wait to finally get his chance with ''dream girl'' Then she lets him have her gets all loving knowing full well she is already pregnant.
Then lover boy comes home, she cheats on him, leaves him and he takes her back
OK I guess that makes for plausible story

this is a story that i sometimes ruminate about. that should be a feather in carvohi's cap that the characters that he created sometimes pop into my mind unbidden.

i wonder what will happen to the pair long-term, after the empty nest. i think it depends on what sensibility the reader applies from their own mindset and experience.

they are both each other's "plan b" at this point, especially since carvohi's characters typically say one thing while doing quite another.

kudos.