Aunt Comes to Florida Pt. 01

Crappy premise & crappy writing.

I couldn't suspend disbelief long enough to get through this story, short as it was. The writing was awkward to read, the dialog was inane, and the punctuation was "hit or miss" at best. Learn when to use a comma to separate parts of a sentence, and when to use a period to end the sentence. Every time I had to mentally correct your errors, in the hope it might help your story make even a little more sense, it yanked me back out of the story.

Terrible job. Just horrible. Utter garbage in every way.

I sure hope

that this garbage is NOT to be continued.
The only good thing about any of it was that it stopped.

just some information for you:
1. make your chapters longer, better to have fewer longer chapters or post multiple chapters together. It helps your score and it allows the reader to get into your world before you just pull the rug out.
2. Always describe the characters.

Proofread!

You need to proofread your work. A lot of misspellings and some poor grammar. It is distracting!

More

I found it erotic and hope for more!!

0

That's ZERO!