Snowed In

Good short

Very good short story .

Please let there be more of this!!!

You can't let this be one chapter story, not when the sister was asking him to be her "first... and only"!!! It would be sacrilege to end it here after just the first night of many.

I absolutely love you fast pace and straight-to-the-point approach to stories, and just like the rest of them it was very entertaining! It was fun to see him suffer through the shopping only to spill his feeling for her the first chance he got, and even better for her to feel the same.

5* and a demand for more!

good start but too short. please make each chapter 2-3 pages long, it will also help your scores.

Nice short story

Often, it takes unusual circumstances for wonderful things to happen. Joey is a protector who really loves his sister. Carly made a wise choice to give it up to him.

GOOD I think everyone thinks the same thing here

Part 2 where is Part 2

Yes, very hot and arousing. Great writing for a slow build up then they have to stay at a motel due to a snowstorm. Obviously, his sister has been wanting this for some time and found a way to do it with him. Yes, very good about the making out and hard sex ! I hope they continue when they get back home as I think they really want each other and have many things to try out. Cannot wait for another chapter. Thank you.

Ummm, no

Neither good nor original, very little build-up, action that pretty much came out of nowhere, and an ending that made me hope it stays that way. I'm sorry, but this was just another stroker, someone called it 'boilerplate', I have to agree, from end to end; it has no stand-out moments, no feeling of much more left unsaid. I gave you 3 stars, which is a 'Keep Going', just try and improve, I'm sure you have better and more satisfying stories inside you, you should let them out.

great story

more please

Beautiful Story

Loved it. Please continue this story.

Great story, I agree we need MORE!!!!!

Nice!

Pretty good, all things considered. If there's one thing I'd change it would be some of the dialogue. Like the sister wanting him to be her 'first...and only.' And how would she know to guide his 'monster' to her pussy? Also I was thinking, would his virgin sister really say 'I want you to shoot your seed in me as my pussy milks your cock dry!'? Not likely, I think. I also wondered how the brother knew his sister wasn't using protection, and, knowing that, why he came in her anyway? Better for them to have forgotten about protection in the heat of the moment. Little things can make a difference. The story was still pretty good, though. Keep it up! (No pun intended)

Story? It needs work.

First the story is not bad but needs work across the board. First not trying to hurt your feelings but you need to use a spell checker and a grammar checker too. Also I strongly suggest you read your story several times before you upload it to find mistakes. The negative comments made by another reader pretty much covered the rest of the problems however the story is redeemable. Just make it worth reading if you rewrite it and stretch it out more. Make the build up slow and sensual, make her first time not just about getting laid but love or at least show why they would have this relationship in the first place.

Hell! I loved the f**k out of it!

Five Stars!