All Comments on 'Dank Undergrowths'

I like this poem but "who gobbled like a turkey" suddenly took away the dank undergrowth feel of the poem.

Perhaps you could change the gerunds "flapping" and "cackling" to flap and cackle.

You use interesting words as usual,

but I too find the contrasts of your images rather disconcerting and contradictory.

You want the undergrowth "dank" (with "corrugated walkways"),

but make it "high and dry".

I pity the elvers who live underwater and the slugs who just squoosh and don't cackle.

And I just don't know what "lissom depths" are.

This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 37,000 poems.

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