A Week in Paradise

A few suggestions.

Interesting first story, Unfortunately you hit a common problem that new writers (and even some that should know better) commit. It is either not describing the characters soon enough in the story, or not matching the characters to the descriptions. You gave a brief description of the survivors of the crash, but did not give their names. For example, it wasn't until half way through the story that the fat man was identifiable as Nick.

a week...

I thought it was a very interesting story, I gave it 4 stars

good story

...about surviving together, and the love story of Dean and Haley and their first time making love

Thank you all so far

Thank you for your support! This isn't actually my first story as my first submission has yet to be approved but thank you anon for the feedback. I will try to better describe my characters in future stories.

That story was completely stupid…

It’s sad, because it could have been a fun a story, but being bugged out every two paragraphs by the thorough unrealisticness of the plot makes it real hard to enjoy. A coconut, for fuck’s sake?!?

Does Nancy have two husbands?

Crap

Absolute rubbish

Write a bit more carefully and slowly

The basic ideas are OK, but you rushed it too much. With practice and patience I think you will get it right. Keep trying, don't let the negatives get you down, just learn. At least you had a go, which is much more than most do. ;)

One Of The Very Worst!

Absolutely appalling. Your "pen" name is truly ironic. (And not like in that song, either)