All Comments on 'Caf? Society'

Just a quick request--

give some line breaks, some space, break up this poem a bit-- especially when your readers will be using a screen makes it so much easier to read.

if you are writnig this for yourself, and are not interested in suggesions, which many people do, then please ignore all of the above

some nice language usage in here but hard to dig through because of the format.

An unusual but interesting theme,

however, this reads more like a story than a poem.

You might consider either lengthening it to story size,

or tightening it into more of a poetry read.

If the latter, consider some stanza breaks and working on the word flow.

The changes in rhyme disturb the flow of the read.

Your rhymes at present are too inconsistent to create a constant effect.

....posters have said all I would have but I want to add my encouragement. You tell a good tale - now you just have to decide - poetry or story form.

I'm mystified by some of the previous comments. Could they do as well?

Perhaps the poem is awkward or uneven in a few places, but nothing a little tweaking wouldn't fix. Generally good rhythm and rhyme. I quite enjoyed it.

and I am the caboose, TK U MLJ LV NV