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English
Sexy rather than Romantic
You ask for comments. While I found it to be a quite reasonable description of the sexual activity, I prefer a lot more build up for a romantic story. When writing in the first person it needs a lot more about feelings and what is attractive about the love interest beyond just sexual attraction and rampaging hormones.
Read a couple of the good Romance writers. ReedRichards is doing some good ones now but they have mature characters. BlackrandI has some really wonderful romances. Blin18, xxellibabexx and ChloeTzang have a couple of good ones with young characters.
I hope that's helpful,
Lue
Romance - Candlelight, wine, and a soft kiss.
THIS belongs in EROTIC COUPLINGS not romance, post in the right category, 1* for being in the wrong one. Most come to romance for stories that live up to the CATEGORY DESCRIPTION, this simply didn't. If I wanted less than ROMANCE I'd go to erotic couplings, a lot of this goes to the ADMINS allowing anything to be posted ANYWHERE so not all is on you as the writer.
Your ideals of romance are archaeic
The majority of younger people these days do have sex immediately, and don't do thinks like dinner by the candle. These are outdated ideals that don't match with the younger generations.
perfect
I personally loved the story and thought it was romantic. I just can't help wondering what happened next lol and if the story is real or made up. Either way I hope theres a part two lol
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