Incognito

More

The has to be more to this story. I spent 17 yrs in the Army and I know there has got to be more than a one pager.

I wish !

The story was inspired by an incident that happened to me while in the Army. Obviously, I did some improvising, that wasn't really "Marie," (or was it). It was more a lust connection than a love connection...guess I'm just a romantic at heart . I did have an experience while serving but undecided as to write about it. I don't think my writing skills are honed enough. I do have another story, submitted.

I hope you write more on this!

A perfect start...with some mystery...and possibilities!

Why would he be irritated at a young woman sitting with him? He just said he wore his uniform to attract women.
There's lots of typos and a LOT of wrong or missing punctuation: ""Do you mind if I sit next to you," - A question needs a question mark. "Thru" - "Through."
" Who wears sunglasses at night, blind people, where was her cane?" Should be, "Who wears sunglasses at night? Blind people do, but where was her cane?"

Not a bad little story, nicely told on one page, but I suggest you slow down and either get an editor or use a grammar/punctuation checker. All the mistakes are distracting.

Thanks for your comments...your constructive criticism is well taken and hopefully will help me to write a better story in the future .