All Comments on 'Alpha Ch. 02'

Hi everyone!

I thought I would put this here as well in case you haven't seen the comment on the last chapter. I have had lots of people ask about Ealasaid and if you were to sound her name out phonetically it's pronounced 'Ee-la-sayd' so her nicknames are 'Ee-la' or "Sayd-y'. On the same topic Drago is pronounced 'Dr-ah-go'.

Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed the second chapter.

Fallen x

This chapter fell a little flat for me, at least compared to the first. I never thought I'd get bored of hot sex! But, for all the scenes you've got, they were really repetitive and, I think more importantly, lacked emotion. How is Ealasaid feeling about all this sex. Is she falling in love? Does it scare her? Does she feel out of control? Does it feel bizarrely right?

What about Drago? So he he loves to be inside her.....what about anything aside from sex? Out of 6 pages, there were three scenes that actually seemed to advance the story and develop the characters: the flash-forward, the jealous bitch at the ballet, and when Drago went crazy with self loathing.

And WHAT is with the bruising grip??? Sometimes that's kinda hot, if the characters are both into it, but Ealasaid doesn't even acknowledge any bruising (in the act, in the mirror....really?) and neither does Drago. Just doesn't seem right.

You certainly haven't lost me, but I hope the next chapter gets back to more story telling.

I enjoyed this chapter very much and appreciate the length. I look forward to finding out more about the characters -- who and what they are, why they are the way they are.

more story please. donot get me wrong i love all the hot sex but i need a little more story to carry it to a happy adventure...trs

Kudos to you for having the characters use condoms! But I just wanted to warn readers that you still have to use a condom the first month of starting birth control pills, or you risk getting pregnant. If you've ovulated and you have sex, you can get pregnant even though you've started taking them. You're not safe until the second month. Just sayin, in case someone out there reads this and gets the wrong idea, they could end up pregnant.

I friggin loved this huge chapter. So thank you very much for that. For me personally the slower plot is working well with the timing of your writing. There is lots of sex,but pol for real, admit it; almost all new relationships work the same way!

Please keep writing and submitting. I am very much enjoying your mind 💚💚💚

Hi all,

Thank you again for reading, I am sorry if it's taking a little while to get the story going but the way I broke up the chapters made this one a little lacking in plot. The next chapter is on its way but I am still looking for an editor! Hopefully it will be up soon!

See you in the next chapter

Fallen x

but this chapter was more sex than story and I'm looking for a little more character development now. I'm kind of weirded out that she reacts in a similar blushing way to Lucius as she does to Drago. I don't know if that's where you're taking the story but Drago doesn't seem like he wants to share and I'm happy about that. I think his jealous nature is why it shocked me that he had no reaction when the driver opened the door while he was still inside her. Wouldn't it make him angry to have another man see his woman like that? Similarly, he wants her to stay naked and wander around his house when other people are also wandering around in there? Even if you factor in packs and nudity, wouldn't he consider her feelings on it? She was recently virginal and didn't stay that way by wandering around naked.

On her side, she doesn't have any flaws yet. Sweet, feisty, trusting, accepting, patient. It's a little hard to believe that you would see someone's eyes change colour and their wounds heal before your eyes and just take it in stride. Most people would freak the f out. So either she knows something about the supernatural (which you have left room for through her mysterious past) or her reactions are unrealistic. Love and lust are powerful but they don't render you incapable of thought, reactions and overreactions.

I still like both characters and am curious to find out about their pasts and how it leads to the future/present you've given us glimpses of.

Thanks for the clarification on her name (and Drago's, as I read it as Draygo, not Drahgo). I still stumble over it every time I read the full name but the Saidy nickname helps. If you are thinking to publish this eventually, I would suggest a name change to something a little more memorable. Not necessarily more common but something that only has one pronunciation that sticks in your head. It's harder to relate to a character with a name you always forget.

Hopefully you'll take this criticism as constructive. I'm enjoying your story and look forward to more chapters.

Thanks!

I also felt it lacked more in the story part but it was still nicely done! love the length keep it up.

First off,I LOVE this story!!! The things I wanted to point out were either already pointed out by you,or the other readers!! Her lipstick!!!! lol!!! Once was okay,twice was strange,and the third time,I was like "her lipstick is shitty!!!" LOL!!! yeah,birth control pills need time to work-someone else pointed this out. The bruising grip is ever present,and if you said "back" one more time in a sex scene I was going to scream. You do tend to repeat certain words. May I suggest synonyms and euphemisms? And complaining about "excessive" sex?!? IT IS A SEX STORY WEBSITE. Anyhoo,I love this story,I cannot WAIT to find out their secrets!! 5 stars!!!

This is very well written (and the others have some fair points, but those have been covered already so I'll leave off on that).and I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

This story is one I read on wattpad but with different names....I'm pretty sure......

I'm enjoying the story and am curious about backgrounds, i.e., why do the scars hurt when she touches them, what happened to her brother, where is she from (the accent comment). I must admit, I hate that she smokes, and I find that it's rather strange that he would have cigarettes. It just seems weird that he would be a smoker.

I look forward to finding out how the story progresses and learning backstories.

Please more I need more!!!!!!

Have to agree with some of the others leaving comments that this chapter dragged a bit. The sex - while good and hot, did seem a bit repetitive because the story didn't really advance. I would think she has more questions for Drago - seems unusual that he would have such a big house, with a lot of marble, near a forest - I would have expected more timber logs. I'm surprised she's not more curious about his family, his work, his house, his friends, his family crest. How can just one person be the housekeeper for such a big house? Wouldn't most people talk about favorite movies/books/TV programs/hobbies/restaurants/shopping/sports/cooking/plans? It's like their social plans are non-existent. I think a bit more character development will deepen our attachment to these characters. What was special about Grif's burgers? Would have been nice to read Eala's thoughts - what flavors did she taste? Were there unusual condiments? Cheese? Avocado? Bacon? Onions? All of this adds color to the story and helps readers experience the scene.

What's with the kitchen rip off from 50 Shades of Grey. I only managed to keep reading because of the first chapter, was dying to know what happened to her. I never ever thought I'd say it but the sex scenes got boring. The story may as well be her still in the diner no progression what so ever.

each of them have secrets...............

This story seems like a blend of 50 Shades and Leader of the Pack.

Sticking with it... generally well written, but agree about the frequent and long sex passages. Also, the smoking is gross. And, you tend to use the same phrases repeatedly.

Still, I gave it 5 stars... I’m a sucker for these stories.

Sorry to inform you, but taking the pill in the morning won't be enough prevention. Unless you start them on the 1st day of the cycle, aka menstruation, there's no guarantee before having taken them for 2 weeks. So, unless you plan on her getting pregnant because of that mistake...

Smoking is quite a turn-off, and I bet it would be even more so for a wolf's sense of smell.

The sex scenes are marvellous in themselves, but the ratio between sex and the storyline is off.