All Comments on 'The Long Betrothal Ch. 05'

Well done.I so enjoyed this story. I hope you consider posting to fictionpress too.

Looking forward to more of your writing, You're so talented.

Whoa but did they discuss kids?

I hate fucking coward anonymous commenters when they leave insipid, stupid comments. I wish there was a way to keep middle schoolers out of this site.

And here I thought Maxen was kind of an ass while all the while it turns out Kerin is apsychotic bitch who butchered a 12 year old child do defend her law breaking brother. And shes fit to have children? Ugh.

Here's hoping that Edon replaces both of these undeserving animals as king. Because there is genuine loyalty, and then there is loyaty to monsters. Congratulations, despite my snarky comments about fairy tale endings, I actually liked Kerin and thought she should have someone better. This.....

Seriously, it completely changes how I look at her. She had goddamn good reason to expect Maxen to hate her, but of course he won't because we already established that hes a jerk, and would not care about the butchering of a 12 year old in the least.

As far as Lady parts goes, im going to chime in with the other Anon... you LP are anonymous. Lady Parts is not your christened name thank god, and your whining about negative opinions is far more childish. This story was well written and i voted highly on it, but the twist ending was freaking vile. She's the least sympathetic rape victim ever.

I thought it might be time for a new chapter, happened to check, and there it is! I'd already guessed the "twist" about Kerin and Milot, so it wasn't such a shock for me. I thought you'd done a pretty good job of foreshadowing that, actually. Very satisfying ending. I just wished there was more!

I'm so glad you're inspired to write something about Edon eventually. Looking forward to that and anything else you care to post!

Think most had guessed about her brother and so it was just a case of how she accomplished it. Gruesome but effective. Well done.

If you do an epilogue, can you explain why the brother is in self imposed exile.

Well done on a well written, gritty story.

She wouldn't be fully happy without them. An epilogue would be a nice way to resolve that.

This was fun one to read. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Looking forward to reading more of your stories. One request however when you are in the throes of your writing to consider. Perhaps one of your future would include some delightful domination scenes? Thanks for a delightful submission! Keep up the wonderful work!

1- Kerin and Maxen and (Shh!!) their children have significant parts to play in "Edon's Eve" & their daughter will be the main character in the third part of the trilogy. If you want a note when Edon's story comes out, PM me-- no spam, ever, I promise! -- no newsletters, no committment.

2- To Anonymouses [sic]- I honestly appreciate you (or anyone) taking the time to write and vote. I do "listen" to rational commenters even if I don't agree, and I hope you'll like my next story more, BUT...........

3- Kerin wasn't raped. She was drunk, he was drunk, bad decisions were made by both, but she wanted him. Even then, Maxen stopped as soon as he realized he'd hurt her.

Exceptional story, so well written, and so much enjoyed. Will watch for, and eagerly read every future work by this author. 🏆

I can't get over the fact that she murdered an innocent child. Ruined the story for me.

Thank you Steffi for creating this story! You have no idea how many times I've re-read this series! I just LOVE the story of Maxen and Kerin soooo much that I found myself reading this almost everyday (yes I'm that obsessed!). Please do continue writing, I just can't wait to found out the aftermath of their happily ever after. (Girl I want them to have 12 kids okay? LOL)

Your story is fantastic, I loved it! Thank you for writing and sharing a fiction of such great quality. Bravo for your work !!!

Really enjoyed this, great writing, great story, engaging characters, dunno what else to say really, I'm looking forward to reading more.

This is an excellent story! Well written, good story line, and nothing to complain about. Keep up the good works!

This was excellent. You have a wonderful way with words, they flow so seamlessly and vibrantly, as if you can see the keep and all those wondering around it. The characters are so full and colorful, with full personalities. And you filled all your holes, so nice to read a story that doesn't have plot holes. The biggest THANK YOU is for finishing. I understand time constraints, responsibilities, and life blunders but you took the time to let your imagination run, I enjoyed it immensely, so once again thank you and can't wait to see what your imagination coughs up next time.

..... combined with your exceptional writing makes one greatly anticipate further chapters to see where this tale is going. Not quite totally into this as a "beast" story yet, but from your other superb works know that will be soon -- as already am absorbed by her character.

My comment below was intended for the first chapter of "Sleeping Beast" by this author. Not sure how it ended up at the end of this exceptional story, but just realized that it did. Many apologies, but believe I will be able to recommend that story as well.

Come on now... you promised us Edon's story and we want it.. Please post it soon and what about the next chapter of Sleeping Beast? We are waiting. Write soon..

Ch.12 of Sleeping Beast was uploaded this morning, and I haven't forgotten Edon, but he'll have to wait his turn! I always have more than one WIP, but never more than 5, and I try really hard not to jump around the to-do list! Plus, y'know, there's that pesky putting-food-on-the-table thing.... If you can't wait for Edon, though, All the Perils of Being Betty is my new fave :)

Just a quick question about the lashes. Each man received 12 lashes, so that should equal 24. Yet Maxen received about 39, why is that?

Otherwise absolutely LOVED this story. Was a realistic romance story. :)

Really enjoyed the writing in your story . . . excellent plot, it didn't contain any contemporary slang (which is always offputting in an historical setting), good grammar and spelling made reading it easy. I felt like the story ended in a place that was perfect - anything further would have weakened it.

Thanks so much for writing this excellent story. I am greatly enjoying all your writing.

Loved the story write more please

So, she poisoned, drugged, beat then murdered an innocent 12yr old boy? And it's okay because she paid for him and was just another mouth to feed? And she is supposed to adore children? She definitely doesn't deserve this happy ending.

Your writing is incredible! Do you write anywhere else?

Very well written

Thank you for sharing your wonderful talent with everyone. This was an awesome story and I loved reading every word. Only negative I have is I wish it went on a little longer. I hate endings ... lol.

This was such a heartwarming story! You should take writing more seriously.

I still don't understand why she havta kill a child? Also, to the Anonymous ^ who said This was such a heartwarming story - it's not, tf. She beheaded a child, her husband assaulted her - it doesn't matter if she likes him btw, what is wrong with some of you? I only like Edon and Sir Furball.

A very worthwhile and captivating read, bravo on your storytelling...!

Beautifully written, especially the love scenes.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story, but the twist in the end, where we truly discover what type of person Kerin is absolutely ruined my image of her. She was nothing but kind and caring during the entire story, and even when she was described to be mean and cold hearted towards Maxen, it was somewhat justified because it was all for her brother. The discovery that she was capable of killing an innocent child makes me disgusted at her, and destroys the "Kerin" I had constructed in my head. The death of a poor child is never justified. She could have said her brother ran away and hid him, she could have found a way to not hurt the innocent, but she chose to poison and murder a CHILD, saying he was nothing but one more mouth to feed. Devastating and repugnant.

It's the the 12th century. Far more barbaric and torturous deeds back then, that would be normalised, and certainly nothing your modern minds can fathom.

Everyone has a dark past, and she had to do what she had to do.

I must admit I was not expecting a murder, and the rumours to be somewhat true, but I liked the twist, which made it horrifying and her character flawed. Not the cliche I was expecting of her sending her brother away, and keeping him in hiding which would have formed more plot holes. I liked the well rounded story, and brilliant writing.

vv

To the snowflakes complaining about the fictional child murder. That's what the military do daily in real life to thousands of children and civilians to PROTECT YOU. They go through this trauma; they have to kill, to protect you and keep your innocence. And majority of the population don't even know of their service.

Kerin is doing what she must do to protect her loved ones, and her utalitarian, yet traumatizing decision for herself, is something she shoulders, and that guilt is her burden.

Want to read something truly devastating? Read Marcus Luttrell's experience of sparing three goatherds bc he couldn't bring himself to kill innocents, in the Afghan war and then having his three closest Navy seal comrades die bc of that decision.

It's an okay story, I keep reading Kerin as Kevin.

To Anon ↓ You're calling people on the internet "snowflakes" when you are one. What are you going to call other Anons next? Clowns? I get what you're saying but you're comparing apples to oranges. They may not like what Kerin did because of the reasons they included in their comments and that's okay.

↓🤡

Enemies to lovers ft. medieval setting —ahh loved the story. Had the right amount of angst and steamy scenes. When Maxen took the floggings for Kerin my heart squeezed, I loved the development and change in their relationship thereafter. Maxen is like a big soft Teddy.

Has anyone read the original Grimm's Fairy Tales? There's some really disturbing shit in there. So thanks SteffiOlsen for grimming this up, but in no fairy tale I have read does the "good" heroine not kill the villain but instead kills an innocent child. Hmm, after Kerin would have had to confess her sin of murder to the priest, would he have defended a soul destined for hell so much? Y'all forget that middle-ages people feared damnation above all else and wicked women even more. She would have been stoned to death in reality. Also, why couldn't she instruct her brother never to take off his shirt? And even if he did why would strangers, who never knew her brother, be like hey that young man has a mark on his back - that must be the killed prince let's tell other strangers about it!

Also, if my counting is correct her younger brother killed the baron's son before the brother was even 12, but it's okay cause the kid he killed was a "bastard". Honestly, this is some really messed up family. I'm not sure who the villains really are here. What with the poisoning witch, the idiot brother, the "absent king" who gave away all of their money to a dejected suitor who then used said money to raise an army and take down the castle. Move over Plato, this is the funniest tragedy.

And the biggest fool in this story is Maxen. So he sentences Kerin's men for running away to 11 lashes each, then Kerin takes their place for 1 lash then Maxen takes her place for 39 lashes. The math miscalculations aside, here's what essentially the author is saying: "the King" sentences punishment for someone taking "what's his", then "the Queen" takes the punishment, then "the King" ends up with the punishment. So he sentenced himself to be lashed 39 times for taking "what's his own"? lololol Why not pardon himself? Oh, cause then wifey wouldn't be able to forgive him. This story had a great beginning, but then it just became unbelievable and contrived.

Anon, tell us how you really feel )))) but some valid points below. Here's something else -- if Prince Selyf was alive all this time, then he is the rightful heir, not his older sister. A prince cannot swear an oath of fealty to another lord. Those were generally reserved for serfs, tenants, knights or vassals. He would have sworn an oath of allegiance. Because a prince is of higher status than mere soldier. Once Maxen knew the truth, asking for fealty, would have been an insult.

This was a wonderfully written story! Loved every second of it and glad it ended on a happy note :)

This was such a good story. I hope that some time you come back with Edon's story too!

Thí story was great but too short in my opinion! It could have been slowed down and stretched out for more lovely chapters of smut!I rarely find characters I like, either the man is dominating and easily angered in a cringe or unbelievable fashion or the lady is too precious. But Maxen I really enjoyed. Kerin was pretty good too.