Nice story, but short. Everything happens too quickly, there is no development of the story. The next time, should better explain the development of events, to give more emphasis to the story.
3* for you.
by
Anonymous09/03/16
sisters present...
Very good story...got me thinking there must
be more you can write to make this story great....
hope to read more...thank you...
WOW, great story and the way you wrote it brought the plot along very nicely. I like the idea of his sister and then himself; keeping their eyes shut when they are in his room and having sex. His baby sister says let's finish it; is a hot magic phrase and his sister allowing him to shave her and fondle her was a huge step. Trust and love was present and how they acted after was just right. Hopefully, in the next chapter; his sister will tell him she wants to continue and they experiment and he bangs her long and hard then softer and longer. Maybe, they will form a very strong sexual bond and take every safe opportunity to play when Mom and Dad are away. Maybe, even a trip after Christmas before they go back to school ?? Thank you !!
by
Anonymous09/04/16
Hard
I guess it must be hard to follow the general rules of the English languagw... Pity... No one seems to care
I don't want to discourage you from writing but this story was poorly written. I suggest you proof read your work several times before posting it. Avoid terms like 'down there' and 'nether regions' - say pussy if you mean pussy. Your target audience is adult, not preteen. The dialogue is frequently stilted and awkward. I'm just trying to tell you that your story could have been much better and easier to read if you'd put a little more effort into it. Good luck in the future. Keep writing and improving. Your readers will show their appreciation.
i never read the sex scenes, they are all the fucking SAME unless a real story is told. nothing t see here...3stars, learn to write a story please..3 stars just to be nice...
English
Good but short
Nice story, but short. Everything happens too quickly, there is no development of the story. The next time, should better explain the development of events, to give more emphasis to the story.
3* for you.
sisters present...
Very good story...got me thinking there must
be more you can write to make this story great....
hope to read more...thank you...
WOW, great story and the way you wrote it brought the plot along very nicely. I like the idea of his sister and then himself; keeping their eyes shut when they are in his room and having sex. His baby sister says let's finish it; is a hot magic phrase and his sister allowing him to shave her and fondle her was a huge step. Trust and love was present and how they acted after was just right. Hopefully, in the next chapter; his sister will tell him she wants to continue and they experiment and he bangs her long and hard then softer and longer. Maybe, they will form a very strong sexual bond and take every safe opportunity to play when Mom and Dad are away. Maybe, even a trip after Christmas before they go back to school ?? Thank you !!
Hard
I guess it must be hard to follow the general rules of the English languagw... Pity... No one seems to care
"English languagw"
Hard to follow indeed.
Needs work
I don't want to discourage you from writing but this story was poorly written. I suggest you proof read your work several times before posting it. Avoid terms like 'down there' and 'nether regions' - say pussy if you mean pussy. Your target audience is adult, not preteen. The dialogue is frequently stilted and awkward. I'm just trying to tell you that your story could have been much better and easier to read if you'd put a little more effort into it. Good luck in the future. Keep writing and improving. Your readers will show their appreciation.
Early comment
What the fuck is with guys?
ARE THEY PUSSYS? a shaved cunt looks like a six year old NOT A WOMAN!!!
it's jst another fuck story
i never read the sex scenes, they are all the fucking SAME unless a real story is told. nothing t see here...3stars, learn to write a story please..3 stars just to be nice...
Thanks for the story, I was expecting another chapter! I really thought he was going to lick her puss in the shower ;)
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