All Comments on 'Haley's Bi-cummet'

by wannascrew2

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  • 9 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 20 years ago
Wishes

That is my biggest wish. Always want that to happen to me.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 20 years ago
my wish

oh how i have dreamed of this.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 20 years ago
Reality, anyone?

Can we try for something that could just possibly happen in the real world? We've got spontaneous ass-fucking, without preparation -- sounds like pure pain to me, not pleasure.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 20 years ago
Reality is boring

This story is great... achieves it's purpose, which is rabid eroticism and burning lust.A bit short in the details, but a fine first effort.

namron711namron711almost 20 years ago
proofread please

What could have been at least a great fantasy left me baling out. It is rare that I totally stop reading a story because the grammer is so bad. The poor sentence structure deters from the story so much that it is difficult to determine who is saying what. Please find someone to proofread your work. Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 20 years ago
Are you for real, namron711?!

You tell the guy to proofread, and yet YOU say "grammer" instead of "grammar", and "deters" instead of "detracts". You need to go away and get your own shit in order before you start pointing the finger!

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Yeh, namron

You even said "baling out" instead of "bailing out".

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
NICE TRY, BUT CAN BE IMPROVED.

This site IS... "Literotica", i.e., although sexual in nature, submissions should be LITERATE. An otherwise good and engaging story is spoiled (in a literary sense) by NOT following fairly standard rules for grammar, construction, etc. It is relatively easy to proof-read and/or edit your tale (I am tempted to say "Tail" but shall pass that by in the hope that you can, in future, be LITERATE as well as EROTIC.) Please try again; imagination is good but is not, in itself, sufficient th grab your audience (By the balls?!)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Love

Love it

Anonymous
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