That is my biggest wish. Always want that to happen to me.
by
Anonymous04/24/04
my wish
oh how i have dreamed of this.
by
Anonymous04/24/04
Reality, anyone?
Can we try for something that could just possibly happen in the real world? We've got spontaneous ass-fucking, without preparation -- sounds like pure pain to me, not pleasure.
by
Anonymous04/26/04
Reality is boring
This story is great... achieves it's purpose, which is rabid eroticism and burning lust.A bit short in the details, but a fine first effort.
What could have been at least a great fantasy left me baling out. It is rare that I totally stop reading a story because the grammer is so bad. The poor sentence structure deters from the story so much that it is difficult to determine who is saying what. Please find someone to proofread your work. Thank you.
by
Anonymous04/29/04
Are you for real, namron711?!
You tell the guy to proofread, and yet YOU say "grammer" instead of "grammar", and "deters" instead of "detracts". You need to go away and get your own shit in order before you start pointing the finger!
by
Anonymous11/24/05
Yeh, namron
You even said "baling out" instead of "bailing out".
by
Anonymous07/15/07
NICE TRY, BUT CAN BE IMPROVED.
This site IS... "Literotica", i.e., although sexual in nature, submissions should be LITERATE. An otherwise good and engaging story is spoiled (in a literary sense) by NOT following fairly standard rules for grammar, construction, etc. It is relatively easy to proof-read and/or edit your tale (I am tempted to say "Tail" but shall pass that by in the hope that you can, in future, be LITERATE as well as EROTIC.) Please try again; imagination is good but is not, in itself, sufficient th grab your audience (By the balls?!)
English
Wishes
That is my biggest wish. Always want that to happen to me.
my wish
oh how i have dreamed of this.
Reality, anyone?
Can we try for something that could just possibly happen in the real world? We've got spontaneous ass-fucking, without preparation -- sounds like pure pain to me, not pleasure.
Reality is boring
This story is great... achieves it's purpose, which is rabid eroticism and burning lust.A bit short in the details, but a fine first effort.
proofread please
What could have been at least a great fantasy left me baling out. It is rare that I totally stop reading a story because the grammer is so bad. The poor sentence structure deters from the story so much that it is difficult to determine who is saying what. Please find someone to proofread your work. Thank you.
Are you for real, namron711?!
You tell the guy to proofread, and yet YOU say "grammer" instead of "grammar", and "deters" instead of "detracts". You need to go away and get your own shit in order before you start pointing the finger!
Yeh, namron
You even said "baling out" instead of "bailing out".
NICE TRY, BUT CAN BE IMPROVED.
This site IS... "Literotica", i.e., although sexual in nature, submissions should be LITERATE. An otherwise good and engaging story is spoiled (in a literary sense) by NOT following fairly standard rules for grammar, construction, etc. It is relatively easy to proof-read and/or edit your tale (I am tempted to say "Tail" but shall pass that by in the hope that you can, in future, be LITERATE as well as EROTIC.) Please try again; imagination is good but is not, in itself, sufficient th grab your audience (By the balls?!)
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