All Comments on 'Becoming Mrs. Pleasure'

A nice thrilling story. And I know a lot of women that are into bdsm. And in the beginning they can go into sub frenzy. Where they want it all the time. They crave it. They usually calm down after a while but it's like a girl that's only used to being with guys with 5 inch penises. After she has a ten incher she will feel it hitting spots she didn't even know she had.

But I liked it!

This one messed with my mind. Very very good!

This is a rip-off of Conrad's "Heart of Darkness," which is a rather silly story to begin with. 1*

Well I actually read this a couple of days ago on "the other site" , and I was curious as to what category you would put it in on Literotica .

Actually , I think that it probably should have been put in BDSM , but if it were , then probably most of your fan base would have missed it. With all the Hoopla over getting stories moved to different categories lately , I'll just be quiet about that.

I have to wonder if this was a answer to a lot of commentators from your prior works that accuse you ( falsely IMO) of writing weak male protags.

I think that you spread your characters out widely . I simply loved your male leads in "the Bridge" and "Jail Breaking" .

But the male lead in this story is just plain scary !

Granted his wife was totally over the top with her affairs , and basically thought of Richard as the equivalent of a trophy spouse . Weird roll reversal that seems to actually be occurring in society today , the casting couches of earlier years seems to doing a 180° turn.

But the Rick character was , well , a monster. No way to sugar coat that.

The turn of the wife from Dom to Sub was interesting , but it's simply not my thing at all.

4 *'s

P.S. this will be one interesting comments section I predict !

Of beatings he is giving her, she would not be able to function after a short time and she is making it worse by not eating. This is not really controlled BDSM but torture where the intention is to extract informatikn and then kill the prisoner. I know no one will agree, but I believe this needs an ending: either he finally kills her because that is what Rick did in Afganistan or Richard comes back and deals with the consequences of Rick's actions. Rick is a capture and kill man. And while I think what she did is wrong, no one deserves to be treated like this and Richard would agree.

and you never break free, TK U MLJ LV NV

Good dark tale... liked it! Bice shot st the restrictive rules placed on our troops by elected sissies who dont understand what is necessary in combat to succeed. Lessons learned and ignored from Vietnam, Laos etc.

Dark, sad and dramatic.

Well done, RG.

A very good psychological drama.

and if there is a Chapter Two, I will absolutely read it just to see how it ends. Not too many stories here spark that level of interest for me, but this one does.

Good work.

It is less than sick.

MCPO Jim

Twisted and dark -- and thoroughly engaging! I couldn't put this story down once I started reading it. Although there are some similarities in tone to Heart of Darkness and Apocalypse Now, this is a unique and imaginative plot. Very well done!

The Rick/Richard idea was not a punchline. It was evident almost from the beginning. The author gave away his surprise and then said, "Look. I'm so good that I can show you all my cards and still win."

Two very damaged people in their little tract house at 10 Everett Lane.

I don't need a sequel--but I will read everything this guy writes hoping he rises to this level again.

Almost all of the writers are applauding. Of course, as always, the little people--the nothings--the never has been's and the never will be's--will try to leave their pathetic little slime trails across the work of their superior. Ignore them. Everybody else in their lives does.

You started off normally for a LW story. As you progressed, however, your story just pulled me along. Rule one of fiction (to me, at least) is to keep the reader enthralled and wanting to know what happens next; which you did in spades.

What came next certainly wasn't pleasant but it was as memorable as anything I've read in a long time. Good job!

WHy do you hate Muslim people ?

The facts that you write about them is a big lie.

Would have liked more closure and devastation rained down on all the cheating whores.

Also would have liked Rick and Richard to make peace.

So she has become a stefford wife. Lindsey is no more she is now Richards slave. he broke her just like the religious zealots in Arabia do to their women. the women in Saudi Arabia ,Iran, Syria, and now turkey are slaves to there antique society. where sharia law rules. sick isn't it. yet they live it. she cheated now hwer payback is worse than hell. interesting story. I see u posted it on SOL.

Not into BDSM stuff but the story was interesting. Four stars.

Seems like Richard would have a difficult time getting by the screening of the military mental health people. If nothing else, you think the shrink would have some contacts that would get him on the track to discovery. However, Richard passing with flying colors is irrelevant to how this story ended.

Richard re-emerging and coming to grips with a slut wife with out the help of Rick could be an interesting 2nd installment.

An interesting change from the norm. The Richard/Rick plot device was good until it was explained away at the end. While Rick may have been a war criminal, he wasn't a cheater. Betrayal is an especially sore subject for a man whose life has depended on others not betraying him. While his wife may want to stay, why would he want her to stay?

so I don't know what most others thought about this story. I felt it was different and interesting as hell, but somewhat disturbing. We are sending a lot of veterans into civilian life that are not getting the mental health care they should. War is hell. Our protagonist was deeply troubled. His sense of loyalty and honor were formed by his service to his nation. He was a victim. The wife unintentionally brought out the alter ego through her very poor treatment of her husband. Who was the victim in the story? It seems like they both were and both suffered for their mistakes. Quite a story.

What in hell is a 'physiatrist?'

Liked the rest of it, but not sure the golf component was worth the trouble of getting 10-15 kilobucks!

It's not RAAC but RWHC, Reconciliation With High Cost!

if you are going to write for others to read you should learn a bit about homonyms--words that sound alike but are spelled differently and have different meanings. For example, there's a huge difference between "site" (a place) and "sight" (something seen) also between "taut" (tight) and "taught" (past tense of teach). I also see many who don't know the difference between "to" and "too" as well as "there," "their," and "they're." A small thing, perhaps, but when people read the wrong term it can rise questions about the author's ignorance and education. Do it right (not write) or not at all. I still gave it 4*.

Saw this on the other site. Really enjoyed it. Let Richard Gerald know with an e-mail.

Twisted tale😈.

Would have liked it to be longer, more plot development, more emotional investment in the characters.This isn't very realistic but it is a very good read.

At least RichardGerald stopped writing about lawyers,lol!!

AMerryman

If you're going to criticize a writer's spelling and/or grammar you should check your own!

"when people read the wrong term it can rise questions about the author's ignorance" - "it can RAISE questions".

LOL, don't mind me, I'm just cranky tonight!

A story with no real winners, but so engaging that I couldn't stop reading.

Excellent story. Will definitely be reading more of your work.

About passing the psychological exam : not really all that difficult to do. If you don't believe me, just go to any major city and look at all of the homeless veterans with obvious mental health issues. They all passed their psychological exams,even though they weren't ready to return to civilian life.

When the author broke out the Rangers, I knew it was going south. Just a ridiculous idea. I can't imagine what would possess anyone to write such a preposterous bit of psychobabble. Incredibly bad.

Why do you hate all your male protagonists so much?

The only plot fault is the contention that the soldiers with Rick would object to his desecration of the rag heads. Odds are they would be assisting him, and encouraging him.

As to his split personality and BDSM play with his wife, why not? She was enjoying it, he was enjoying it, apparently she regretted being a whore and he was willing to overlook that and keep her as his sex slave, which she loved. Sounds like the two pervs both suffered happily ever after.

But what a weird fucking story. Well told, intricate and complicated, very reminiscent of Alfred Hitchcock, or maybe Edgar Alan Poe. I think I hate it, but I have to respect it, so no score. Next time put this nightmare in BDSM or Rape/Reluctance or anywhere else but LW. Gotta give Rickard credit for one thing, he was no wimp or cuckold!

In a way this is like a btb story, except those usually end with the cheater suffering some horrible consequence and having it be over. Hers will continue. Sad to say the rest of the morally bankrupt and faithless members of her workforce will fail to receive their comeuppance but hey we cant all marry master manipulative psychopaths... well I guess their husbands already did but you get my point.

Only question now is how long it'll be before Sara calls the cops and the boys in blue find Rick and turn him over to the guys in white, who I will assume will lock him in a padded room forever?

Excellent!

What happened here? I don't get it. I know the author is kind of a swish, but it was novel for a while. Then all the possibilities went straight down the shitter. Oh well.

But I read it anyway, and I'm sure sorry I did. Only the fact that your other stories have been good or great prevents me from giving you a negative score. This story is in the wrong category, but Literotica hasn't offered a "Stupid Wimps" category yet. But when they do, this will be the first submission.

I don't mean to be disrespectful. I understand the appeal of the story to many. I just wonder why it's posted in this category. Did you consider: Erotic Horror - (Bizarre, shocking, scary, and sometimes sexy)? Yes, she had some extra-marital "fun" but the essence of the story was shock and horror, torture and pain, beyond the 50 shades of grey type of BDSM where the sub is always willing. I enjoy a good RAAC story and that's why I read this after reading your introduction. If it was posted in Horror I would have known better than to read it. I couldn't finish it. One star.

What she did was immoral, what he did was illegal, so what are his consequences? After all, quid pro quo or are you a Muslim sympathizer who believes in honor killing and mutilation?

Despite your tale of atrocity, I suspect you rather admire them for their ability to inflict pain and mutilation upon women without ramifications.

As usual, great writing. Think the story was wildly over the top, and the characters - especially Richard, Rick, and Lynsey(sp?) were certainly characatures. But, you pulled it off. In the hands of most writers on this site, this would have been a two star eye roller. A cautionary (fabulous) fable. Usually not my cup of tea, but it was still a good read. ***** Thanks, always a treat to see your name in new submissions.

absurd cuck shit.

Is there anything in this world that is more tedious and annoying than the anonies who have never written a story in their lives and contribute absolutely nothing productive to this site, yet come here every day to bitch and moan about spelling, grammar, and punctuation? I mean...it's like listening to some homeless person bitch about the amount of spice in his free soup down at the shelter.

How about: "Gee, thank you, author, for taking the time to write this story without receiving any compensation and post it here for me to read, absolutely free of charge." Feel free to copy and paste that, anonies.

It seems as though this story sailed over a lot of heads.

"You discuss me" instead of 'you DISGUST me'.

Lots of such things even in the first few paragraphs. This was rushed into production.

BUT, we all make them.

Loving wives? Erotic Horror? Non-Consensual? BDSM? Hard to put a label on this one.

There is a thread in your writing that it's okay for alpha women to 'properly' fuck around. That they are owed it by their libido. Okay, let's explore that. IF having a 'healthy modern libido' is justification for cheating, why doesn't it apply to the male characters of your stories too? In that awful real estate story, the dad of the protagonist was talking him into letting his wife fuck around....just like he did.

In this, the women ALL feel that some fucking around is good for the soul and the pussy...within limits. Unless you buy into that mindset, you feel no sympathy for any of these women. And guess what...I don't.

It was a 'meh' for me. You contradicted your own story too many places. First it was Richard, than it wasn't...then Richard wasn't crazy...but then Richard WAS crazy...now SHE is crazy even though she showed ZERO remorse for fucking some innumerable group of guys. But now it is crippling her with guilt...even if it did not cripple the friend who CLEARLY thought she was crossing a line.

Better than a lot of stories, but you are at times overly ambitious.

but the split personality is a bit much, and the story really belongs in BDSM explaining how a dom/master acquires a sub/slave. I actually enjoyed the punishment and the lead up but the ending was way off. Others will talk of grammatical and style errors. I gave a two instead of 4 due the placement in the wrong group and the poor transition to the ending.

but the end left much to be desired. No resolution, no real insight into Richard's plan for Lynsey

s redemption. Not one of your better stories, like the ones whit the lawyers and politicians better

1*

5 good story

@FD45, I don't think he was saying that it was okay for "alpha" females to fuck around, his treatment of the cheating wife should show that! Even the other player woman thought that it should at LEAST be toned down after marriage. And while I (and I believe the writer!) don't agree with it, these women seem to believe that they are simply claiming the same privileges that men have had. The guilt didn't cripple her friend because the friend just believed in playing around as sweeteners or quid pro quos for deals, not just for fun. I'm not saying that I agree with it, but that's how Sara justified it to herself to avoid Lynsey's guilt.

# 5 More please.

Richard and Rick shared a body. Rick is a war criminal that the Army decided to let slide at least since the passive persona of Richard emerged. They were not worried that Rick might return and start racking up bodies or about his past illegal actions. We don't know who he was prior to the army time but possibly someone more Ike Richard. The two were so seperated, that a trained therapist did not notice anything out of the ordinary while actually looking for just this sort of issue. At this point, Richard is gone and his career as a teacher ended but Rick will somehow impersonate him?

Lynsey has discovered her true nature as a submissive pet to Rick. Her career is also at an end. She would rather have that than Richard's caring love. Her friend knows that Rick is a dangerous monster and that Lynsey has been destroyed but is not going to do anything about it.

Sorry, not believable enough for me to enjoy.

though I am sure there are many that will enjoy it.

I usually love your stories, but this one is on another level. This one is deep and thoughtful, and sad and dark. From beginning to the last line, everything was so well thought out.

"...there was nothing but truth between them." I don't think there was ever a Richard. I think it was always Rick. After her affairs, she's given him the means and the motivation to reveal himself. Now she can be herself; a slutty, masochistic submissive. And he can be himself; a ruthless, sadistic dominant.

This is a very sad story in my eyes. A story of two people who can't escape who they really are. The only thing I can't decide is, did Rick really try to be a kind decent man and felt force to abandon that persona in light of her betrayal? I guess we'll never know that.

Great story anyway. You are quickly becoming one of my favorite authors.

That would be the simplest explanation..... The story shows the classical case of the

split personality for both the husband and wife. The idea that the only efficient executive is one who takes no prisoners is fairly constant in stories here. All the business ladies in this one had difficulty not taking the men that they wanted. One thing was that the psychiatrist had to be without any empathy to give the report he gave.

This is not up to your usual story level by any means. I keep waiting for it to get better and for the wife to escape the demented clutches of her insane husband. It never happened. This is one sick story and I am beginning to wonder if you are like the husband with a split personality. That with the story the real you has come forth.

I'm retired military now

And this story. I feel it.

Great work.

The wife reaped what she sowed but she was happier the way you wrote the ending.

So was he.

Once again a writer bases a story on the oft exploded myth of disassociative identity disorder (DID). There is not one shred of scientific evidence that DID does or has ever occurred. Every available study shows that it is a myth, and there is no such thing as split personalities. Pathetic excuses for criminal behavior dreamed up by lawyers and psychologists and proven not to exist, time after time. Put this crap in science fiction, or sick bondage fantasies. Pure, unadulterated horse shit.

Five stars for the quality construction, but depressing as hell. This story started out about a cheating wife, and then shifted gears to focus on a deranged husband.

You seem to be under the wrong impression about DID. It is a controversial diagnoses but is listed in the DSM-5 along with symptoms and criteria by which to diagnose it. Also, the people who do not beleive DID is a real thing believe so because they feel the symptoms listed for DID are actually extensions of other mental health issues. Dissociation and compartmentalized personality traits are undisputed as real issues- so it isn't that these symptoms don't exist or that people can't be afflicted by them. The issue is whether these symptoms should be categorized under DID or under better understood diagnoses such as Borderline Personality Disorder.

I am being more meta than JUST the girls in this story.

To wit: Both women in his Crime and Punishment Series thought it was okay to screw around and wildly until the author got a lot of push back in chapter 3.

In Jail Breaking and the sequel, his parents, his in-laws, and his daughter ALL thought it was okay for women to seek their natural urges and fuck around.

In The Bridge story, the wife thought (and continued to think) that her little 'hiatus' from infidelity was the most natural thing in the world, as did Patty (?) and the other two married women.

We also had that murder mystery one whose name I forget. The wife was fucking some powerful man and the wife, her friends, AND the lady cop sent to investigate thought 'Oh...the Judge was TOO powerful. Of COURSE it is entirely understandable why she fucked him.'

Now, the obvious response is 'hey, cheating wives are okay with adultery!' And this is true. However in the stories, the Greek Choir all around, Nurses, Corrupt European Mobsters, daughters, friends, onlookers, dogs in the street, ALL of them excuse female infidelity as 'one of those things'.

Sure. Why isn't it natural and excusable in the men? This is just noting a tilt in the writing I noted which roils the bowels a wee bit. Cause few of the husbands become cheaters, instead being to clueless to know or powerless to stop things.

The ONE hero and heroine I liked in On the Lamb (?) was the banker who eventually married that cop woman. They seemed to be the ONLY two in the entire story of dozens which did not soft pedal infidelity as natural

So there is a bit of my bias. I can understand adultery and see how there are MANY paths beyond it. But don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining. Women do not cry hysterically over 'no big deal'. Men don't do double murder suicides over 'nothing'.

Very dark. But a well written tale. And it is just that, a story. A fiction story. Those who want to nit-pick should relax a little into the suspension of disbelief and simply enjoy the tale.

That is all

....like a fast ride on a jeep trail. Very bumpy and very rough.

I'm not sure how much can be lain t the feet of the professional community, but DID seems a less than popular diagnosis in real shrinksville.

I might have been more inclined to have him just be a broken, and evil "alpha" man that hid his evil behind the mask of a "beta" male (yet another apologist concept, too often used to excuse a narcissistic, hedonistic drive at odds with the integrity and commitment required to make marriage work).

It was an interesting read, if made more difficult by the shoddy editing.

Please clean house before inviting guests.

Of sub drop. Most don't quite catch the essence.

@ResidentWeevil - Why does a story always have to be believable? I read and watch a lot of sci-fi and enjoy them, while not believing them for a second! Even if you're limiting things to LW, if you require believability you're going to have precious few stories to read!

@Anonymous Re: "wow" - Of course there WAS a Richard. Afghanistan destroyed him. Maybe Rick was always there beneath the surface and Afghanistan brought him out, maybe Afghanistan created him, but before the war there WAS a Richard. Even after the war, Richard was able to re-assert himself and suppress Rick, until the stress of Lynsey's infidelity brought him out, apparently for good,

crappy boring

R. G. as you have now lowered your standards to writing and publishing such disgusting and dehumanizing stories, I am removing you from my favorite author list, and will no longer read your posted writings.

Where Lynsey mentions to "Richard" about soldiers returning from war and appearing fine & functioning and then snapping unexpectedly.

This seems more of a tale of the man that returned wasn't the same man that had left and, no one knew. It can be difficult to say without an earlier baseline of "Richard/Rick's" mental psyche.

Also interesting underlying tale of how elements can be used to transform another's personality/psyche; as "Rick" took the power hungry Lynsey and turned her to submissive.

There's way too much use of the alpha/beta from the animal kingdom. With humans there tends to be more subtle levels. Especially with development of weapons where an omega (lowest member; following the alpha/beta dynamic) could take out an alpha; upsetting the whole concept.

Was Rick/Richard an alpha or beta some may ask: (if following the archaic caste system) he was a wolf in sheep's clothing.

In reality he is more likely the product of when a good man goes to war.

A prequel would be interesting; the story of what happened to "Richard" to become "Rick" but, probably not a loving wife or even literotica story.

A good proof read might be in order though?

-A Good Man who went to war

I disagree. There is no evidence that there was ever a Richard, or perhaps there was, but he was long gone. My real question was did Lynsey really marry Richard? Or maybe it was Rick, trying to impersonate Richard? More likely to me is that there was never a Richard, there was always just Rick. Rick was trying to be a more compassionate, kind, gentle person (Richard) now that he was state-side because that's how he thought he needed to act. Once he realized that Lynsey needed an "alpha" male, he dropped the charade and revealed the truth.

True, there is no evidence of Richard, but we are never shown him pre-war, only during and after, so we have to use our imaginations and guesses, and yours is as good as mine! And vice versa!

I don't know what to make of this story. I guarantee that I will have to think about this one. The woman a typically cheater. She seemed to change from a dominant personality to a sub way to quick. I can actually see the husband with the dual personality. He needed Rick to survive the war and when he got back home he put Rick away and became Richard, the teacher - he didn't need and want Rick any more. It took his cheating whore wife to bring back Rick.

I didn't care for the BDSM aspect, but I guess it fit the story.

Thank you for writing a 'different' kind of story that was very creative.

"He was an intellectual man who received his BA at twenty before joining the military. Lynsey could never understand what a sensitive, bookish man could possibly have done in Afghanistan." - It's not much, but this part DOES make it seem that he WAS Richard before Afghanistan turned him into Rick.

Yes, I will accept that Rick may have always been there and Afghanistan just brought him out, but he was still suppressed before the war.

Why in these stories, if a husband is kind and supportive, sensitive to his wife's needs, etc., that he is some sort of a wimp, a beta male who deserves to be cuckolded by an Alpha male?

Really? You went there?

One of the most stimulating stories I have read on here. Finally a glimpse at the unvarnished truth. If people realized everyone carries darkness inside we would be less surprised when a bomb is set off or snipers shoot. Our capacity to wreak havoc is only limited by our physical gifts and extent of our own madness

top it off with a record of questionable actions in war, yet he is a major. Not bloody likely. Write about what you know, research what you don't.

With all the things in this story that go from improbable to damn near impossible, on the believability chart, you are upset about the timetable for reaching the rank of major?!?!

That says more about you than I think you realize. SMH

It was Dark and twisted but kept my attention until the end. Gave it 5*

Wolf_Man_1962

Well, that's one way to punish a cheating, worthless cunt wife. My insane side loves the fact that he broke her to the point that she is and will forever be his cunt whore slave. My sanity is hard to find these days but it's glad that this is fiction. Don't cheat.

To those of us who served.

I started out reading an almost acceptable story, once you got past "physiatrist." In context, that makes no sense. Psychiatrist would have. The omission of commas was funny. Annoying, but funny. "You discuss me." What does she discuss about him, his anus? That's disgusting. She'd disgust me if she did that.

But not nearly as bad as this off the rails Apocalypse Now wannabe shit does. Confusing disciplined special operations Rangers of the 21st century with a 1970s portrayal of some undisciplined Special Forces A-Team , or a US officer actually expecting a salute outdoors in hostile territory...far-fetched, ridiculous, example of someone who can otherwise write relying on Hollywood for research.

You screwed the pooch.

Don't ever write shit like this ever again. If I could I would rate this as 'Bottom of the Barrel Stench'. This goes in my column as THE MOST HORRIBLE STORY ON LITEROTICA. THE ABSOLUTE WORST!

Maybe one of the darkest LW's stories in here!! We like it and at the same time we hate it!! That's that hate/love relationship that turns it so intense...I don't think it is an insult to those who fought and still fight...We all know how many men returned home destroyed, being a different man that the one that had gone to war...And I'm not talking about physical damage!! Was the movie "Deer Hunter" an insult to those men? Was the movie "American sniper" an insult too? I just don't see how this end would be possible in today's world...neverthelesss a good story...3*

I think I understand now why the men in your stories are such pussies.

You have such disrespect for military and for men who act like men.

I bet you think men have "not evolved enough" yet.

$10,000 says you are an obama/hillary voter and supporter.

Combat does funny things to people. If you never been in the shit, you wouldn't understand, so don't be so quick to judge!. I have friends who are downright goofy. When I got out I was lucky and hung with other Vets from all the services in college, We partied and had fun and put all the shit behind us, but some just didn't do so well. It's called PTDS and it's real.

Try and remember this is just a story and it brings tears to me, I wonder if the author was in the shit and this is how he Vents, and that's good. Writing is good therapy. My self, I avoid memorials on Veterans Day. I been to the Wall in DC and it makes me weep. I did Nam, I'm a life member in the DAV and the VFW, just not a regular meeting going member. I prefer to only remember the really good times with my brothers. .

don"t ever write shit like this again wtf

I could not stop reading! You did an excellent job in describing Lynsey's and Rick's personalilites against the background of Taliban Islam faith. They are both the same type of people. These feminazises and girl boys such as FD45 are going to be upset by this story. Even though the wife is a slut, they still feel sorry for her at the end of the story.

Clearly Richard couldn't handle war. And he obviously died before the flashback story about burning bodies.

Then Rick came back and wasn't punished for war crimes... And "hid" as Richard - until her cheating came to light...

Then Rick remembered how the women mourned their men, in spite of being treated so poorly...

So he says to himself, "She's my woman and will act like it."

And figured treating her poorly would make that really true... And in her case, it did.

Interesting he was never tried... So many people knew what happened and nothing came of it...?

Disturbing thing about your stories is these women who consider they should be able to do what they want BECAUSE they want... Ignoring the fact that wasn't what they VOWED...

If they really believe so strongly in this, why don't they find a man who accepts it up front...? Obviously, because it's bullshit and they know it.

The use of misdirection is sorely lacking in this category, makes me really happy to see it used to great effect here.

I gave this a five because I want you to keep writing, but...

There might be a real message here. In Vietnam we were promised ONE YEAR. In Iraq-Afghan they had 'stop loss'. I hated 'W', Cheney, and their ilk. In fact I still do. The experts say it only takes 90 days of continuous combat to ruin a man forever.

In the USA today we have countless veteran suicides. This Richard story is an elaborate and grotesque fabrication of something that's quietly playing out on our city's street everyday and Nobody Gives a Damn.

The story was interesting, but it was also just crude exploitation. I've pulled two stories far less painful than this one because I was ashamed of them. Maybe Mr. Gerald this one needs to be pulled and given a rewrite. There's nothing to be proud of here, but that's just my opinion.

Jedd Clampett

of course, is that these are tales written by males so that the female perspective can never be accurate. However, the criticism, such as it is, in reader's comments is always of the female characters. Self fulfilling prophecies of distorted male thinking perhaps?? I find these tales much more revealing of the authors and readers than of life. But then it is a fantasy site. A sad reflection that so many seem to lack that distinction. Also, some inaccuracy involved here. FGM, alluded to, is more of an issue in countries within Africa rather than Afghanistan. Nevertheless this was an interesting attempt even if there were many unexplored and unresolved areas.

I like the tale of repercussions, but the slur on the name of our vetrans is INEXCUSABLE!!! Fuck you RichardGerald and the lack of honor you write with. Our Soldiers are NOT MURDERERS and I detest every piece of shit like you who demeans them by words of callous disregard.

You are a pathetic little man who could never amount to a real writer so you post your filth on a site like this where even despicable rants get to be published. Go back to your commie loving home and regale yourself in the lore of you predecessors like John F Kerry (who also shit on VietNam vets), because men of true virtue stand guard over this land, and "your right" to defame them.

The last anonymous said things well.

I now understand why you can't write about men with any balls. Not without making them sick mentally.

Your dishonour to soldiers just adds to what is now making sense.

Your whole "beta male" getting cheated on sophistry was further telling.

You are a submissive man threatened by men who act like decisive confident men.

Lacking any of those yourself, you have to portray those that do as inferior or broken in order to make yourself feel better.

Brave, confident, dominant men like soldiers are threatening to you because you cannot understand them. Therefore they must be murderers. They can't be real men because that would make you feel less of a man. But, since you deep down know you are weak and pathetic, you try to appear "sensitive", though you are just pathetic.

The worst story I've ever read on Literotica!

I have two family members, both Marines, who served between them SEVEN tours of Kuwait, Iraq and Afghanistan. The few stories they have been able to pass along made it difficult to keep my stomach from violently rebelling. On their good days they are proud to have served with the US Marines. But on those bad days...or nights, they are a life-threatening nightmare to their wives, children, and even parents. What nightmares they brought back were horrible enough, but what you wrote, for entertainment, is anything but. I finally reached my limit with you. No more. You won't see me anymore. One star.

one whose bounty you should not attempt to collect, TK U MLJ LV NV

If you don't believe me, look at the comments from the people that just *hate* it - they do so because they were deeply effected, the symptom of good writing. The author took the LW format and extended it past where anyone else has while staying well within it. This story illustrates one of my favorite quotes from fiction: "War doesn't mature men; it merely pickles them in the brine of disgust and dread." Rex Stout speaking through Nero Wolfe.

There are no characters to like in this storyline.

reading this story during the second chapter. Entirely too weird for me.

RichardGerald is a top flight amateur writer who takes chances and goes to dark places and may well leave a trusting reader in a bad place. He writes for himself , not the Loving Wives demographic. May I recommend some qhml1? He cares far more about his readers opinion then RG. I admire them both but gotta give this author the edge in my esteem because he cares less my esteem.

You chose well in stopping where you have. Thank you for alerting us to your discomfort. Have a lovely day.

Cracking story. I also get great pleasure (?) from reading every single commenters' remarks on every single story I have read on this site. It validates my own personal beliefs and thinking. Keep going; you currently have my respect.

I agree with Justgr8.

Go back to write your usual crap and leave veterans alone. Worthless asshole.

Love this! Still five stars.

This is my second re-read of two of RG's tales. In BOTH, a number of critical ex-military find themselves in the same locale, in different capacities, and involved in the same situation. It is one thing if a military leader drafts some of his loyal and skillful minions into joining his team to undertake noble (or ignoble) causes ... but for them to just kinda find themslves THERE, and to then to start working towards a common goal is stretching my credulity (WAY) too far!!

Both were good reads, but 'deus ex machina' so that mysteriously unlikely (and untraced) outcomes obtain is 'Reader Abuse.'

Stick to your other stuff, writing things about veterans is definitely not your forte.

What a piece of shit story. A waste of time to read.