Who convinced you that dialog has to be in italics?
"INNER" Dialog is often demonstrated by using italics instead of standard font, to show the difference between what's "spoken" and what's "internalized". You can sometimes italicize a word or a brief phrase, to give it special emphasis, or to make it an exclamation. You can use italics when using certain nouns, like the name of a ship, for example. You can use italics when using words in a foreign language. And I'm sure there are other examples of when it's correct to use italics, but I think these are sufficient to prove my point.
When it's NOT correct to use italics is ALL of your spoken dialog. It's distracting. Glaringly distracting.
It's your story and a building fantasy; it may not be correct form but the italics do separate thought from the spoken word effectively, as you intend. I assume most people read these "amateur" written stories for enjoyment not to find fault with the style or grammar, that's the editors job. Oh well, as with the TV off button, there is always the delete button on the computer. Keep going, I'm enjoying the story. I believe I've read this story before or one similar and you did say this is a rewrite. I'll be watching for the next chapter.
Yes, a very nice addition to the series ! The story continues to build as son and Mother go forward slowly and obviously enjoy the sexual teasing, fingering, hand jobs and his wanting to screw his Mom. I think his big cock will finally convince his Mom to do it with him. Young men can usually cum very hard and often; she seems to want it more with every encounter. Hopefully, they will do it, enjoy it and decide to add that to their relationship. Thank you.
I hope you continue writing as you have a very engaging manner. I hope you keep us guessing and and excited along the way and I am sure you will. Thanks for the pleasure.
English
Who convinced you that dialog has to be in italics?
"INNER" Dialog is often demonstrated by using italics instead of standard font, to show the difference between what's "spoken" and what's "internalized". You can sometimes italicize a word or a brief phrase, to give it special emphasis, or to make it an exclamation. You can use italics when using certain nouns, like the name of a ship, for example. You can use italics when using words in a foreign language. And I'm sure there are other examples of when it's correct to use italics, but I think these are sufficient to prove my point.
When it's NOT correct to use italics is ALL of your spoken dialog. It's distracting. Glaringly distracting.
Who cares?
It's your story and a building fantasy; it may not be correct form but the italics do separate thought from the spoken word effectively, as you intend. I assume most people read these "amateur" written stories for enjoyment not to find fault with the style or grammar, that's the editors job. Oh well, as with the TV off button, there is always the delete button on the computer. Keep going, I'm enjoying the story. I believe I've read this story before or one similar and you did say this is a rewrite. I'll be watching for the next chapter.
Looking Forward
To continuing chapters! I'm really enjoying the story, I hope he gets his wish!
GOOD work in progress
I give it 5 stars but please don't rape the mom
Yes, a very nice addition to the series ! The story continues to build as son and Mother go forward slowly and obviously enjoy the sexual teasing, fingering, hand jobs and his wanting to screw his Mom. I think his big cock will finally convince his Mom to do it with him. Young men can usually cum very hard and often; she seems to want it more with every encounter. Hopefully, they will do it, enjoy it and decide to add that to their relationship. Thank you.
I can't wait for ch 3
Nice for your first submission
I hope you continue writing as you have a very engaging manner. I hope you keep us guessing and and excited along the way and I am sure you will. Thanks for the pleasure.
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