All Comments on 'Another Love Pt. 03-04'

I can't say that I didn't enjoy chapters 3 and 4, but then again, I can't say I enjoyed it either. Maybe it just seemed too predictable to me.

For damage control RG. And you have done a very interesting job of trying to set expectations so that things don't get out of hand. But I have a lot of difficulty with what you do. It is not a function of the writing per se--you are a talented wordsmith. It is just that the story doesn't make sense to me, and I think that is an issue. Let me explain. It is one thing for you to TELL your audience that the wife is "good" or that the husband has "issues" but like LordSD's comment around number 200 on part 2, one has to SHOW that the outcome is a logical consequence of what has followed before it, through the plot, actions, and inner life of the characters. And I don't believe that you have done so, no matter how much you assert that you have. Let me give you a couple of examples of what I mean. First, there is no sense at all that the husband has connected the need for the wife to lie and bring her children into this lie as a possible cause of the poor relationship between father and sons. One of the central elements of parts one and two is dropped without resolution. "You don't have grown sons" is a flippant and hopefully unintended dismissive way in which to answer your critics on this. In any case, the point is not whether your experience is universal as you appear to claim (it will surprise you to learn that it is not), but whether the outcome you got makes sense within the context of the story, and I am sorry to say, you have done no work to make that happen. And that is not the hallmark of excellent writing. And that focus on the sexual infidelity makes the whole thing unbalanced. Thought Experiment: What would happen to your story if you just dropped the whole kids part? As written, it would be a better balanced story, where you could focus more energy on making us believe that the character can believably be expected to act this way.

On that point: What in the story prepares us to believe that his reactions to the widow's speech make any sense at all? She says that their partners are like stars in the firmament and that is enough to make him start to embrace the idea that maybe his wife's behavior is Poor, but not that Poor. OK, how so? If Phillipe is a savant with canvas, our protagonist is a savant with engine design and repair. Why privilege one creative process over the other? Why is she the firmament--because she gets him out of his shell? That is why he is willing to accommodate her refusal to do anything to make amends?

Third, what criteria do you use within the context of this story to support your claim that you made outside of the story that the wife is "good"? She is emotionally unavailable to her husband when he gets back from war when he is at his most vulnerable and she doesn't even notice; her guilt at hearing that he was changed through unimaginable trauma is limited to pouting about Peresphone, "the other woman". So empathy is not a skill she has. Honesty is not a trait. No perseverance. She uses those closest to her for selfish ends. She does absolutely nothing to make amends to her husband apart from doing what she wants to do anyway, and pouts when her husband won't forgive her? So what about her is "good" exactly? Her false consciousness? She does nothing wrong but lies about it for years? She loves her sons as long as they do as she asks of them? Is it merely a function of being "good in bed"? She "loves" two men? Is that the skill set needed to be good? "Good" can have many meanings here I guess, and I may have been mistaken to think that you were speaking in an ethical sense when what you meant was that she was good in bed.

Persephone works!

I truly enjoyed The Bridge by this author and then I remembered there was a sequel written by JustBobKc. At the start of the sequel he copies a correspondence from RG that should show us all that the ending to this story shouldn't be a surprise....

Dear Robert: By all means publish. The issue with Gloria is that I saw her as a minor character. I guess when it comes to women, we all have different experiences. The women, you normally see in these stories approach sex physically the way men do. But I have never known a woman like that. I partly based Gloria on someone, I know very well. She is a good wife and mother. When she was in her late twenties she attended a gala reception. It was the kind of affair you see on TV. She and her husband were attending in their best dress. Now this is a woman who would never even consider infidelity, but into the room came a man, at least, twenty years her senior. He was a prominent politician. He was amazingly handsome, and someone she greatly admired.

Now this good wife and mother has admitted on several occasions that all the politician had to do was ask and she would have gone to bed with him. This is a woman that, as far as I am aware, has never been unfaithful to her husband. But, under those circumstances, she would have been. I also know that she would have expected her husband to forgive her, and I believe he would have. I guess, I was thinking of this story when I wrote mine.

I guess, what I am saying is that I don't see Gloria's behavior as all that odd. It is certainly not common behavior but not unreasonable either. The strange behavior comes from Lyle. I am actually fascinated by the man here. he is a good self-sacrificing individual. We expect such men to behave, and when they don't society is shocked. But I think that, just like Gloria, Lyle's actions are a case of the right circumstances. The thing is I believe Gloria has a way back. We will accept her behavior. We may admire Lyle but we condemn his actions.

Good luck with your story.

Rick

So the telling parts are where he mentions that the husbands need to stand up for himself is seen as strange behavior. Even more so he believes that the husband should be condemned for his actions while the wife's behavior should be accepted.

For those of you who haven't read it in the story the wife and husband go away for a weekend with a group of people led by the husbands boss.

After flirting blatantly with the boss all day the wife just comes up to the husband and tells him in no uncertain terms that she is going to sleep with his boss for the night. Never asks just tells him so,,,the husband doesn't accept it and finds some very nice revenge in the process.

I honestly do not have a problem with wife sharing stories or even cuckold stories but what I have is a problem with disrespect....

The author's mindset seems to be that it is acceptable and understandable for women to disrespect their men. That they should be allowed to do whatever they want and never face the consequences of their actions.

I would feel the same emotion if I was reading about a man who came home and just tells his wife he is going to sleep with her best friend...take it or leave it.

So while the author may know how to write from a technical point of view his perspective of male female relationships will always be jaundiced by the need for his women to disrespect their men.

I will not even comment on the content of the story....you get a 1 for complete disrespecting your readers by totally skipping over the angst of the conversation between husband and wife at the end of chapter 2. To me it's a slap in the face to us readers to leave us with the cliffhanger you did and do nothing to follow up while making us wait an extra day for a story that you posted complete on another website.

You show the readers just as much contempt as your wife did for the husband in this story....

..though I love your writing, the resolution is bullshit, however entertaining. Oh, and I have grown sons. Three principals knew what was going on as it developed, and not only received the approval of two other families, but brought this man's children into the deception. That, despite the sexual wiles of two women, the European sophistication embraced and the extreme dichotomy between the creative juices of the artist versus the engineer, are beyond the pale in terms of forgiveness. I kept waiting for him to slam the two crones for their participation. I was disappointed - even though I am usually not demanding regarding plot structure.

what a wimpy fag author.

Some disjointed crap. What does this mess have to do with the first two parts? Are these even the same people? Absurd RAAC ending. 0/5

...I see the point you were trying to make. You took too far of a turn. Probably shoukd have started out in Group sex. Rob shoukd have burned the painting and divorced his "love" obsessed wife and moved on with his life. Possibly make a chance to connect with his sons.

Is his life happier with two wives? I don't know. Knowing his wife cheated on him with two people? I don't know.

You turned the hero into someone who is a flake and I hate to admit it, a small man. But if he is happy, then so be it. I don't like to see people seperate, but the lady of the story has no morals, no sense of loyalty. Not a very sympathetic figure.

You are a very good writer....on story telling you get a five.

But for this story you are getting a 1. It left a very sour and sick feeling in my stomach. Not your best work.

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

You glossed over the reaction to the wife's tale. We never saw confrontation to the son. The wife seems to be cold to the husband after his return. He becomes more of a cuckold even with the death of his rival which the wife seems to make clear was a more passionate lover. All left unresolved with the casual attitude that the past is the past. You might as well say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. I did like the story and the premise but still feel cheated.

the writing was structurally sound, but there were several missed opportunities.

"the talk" was an opportunity to show some real emotion; not just exposition.

the relationship with his sons was never explored or resolved.

there was no sense of justice; only a shrug, "she owns me."

i liked the jet engine metaphor, but ultimately, this one was a bummer.

thanks!

True I'm not the biggest fan of threesome action as balm for the outraged cucked , formerly unwitting / unwilling soul. Richard Gerald is without doubt a wordsmith whose skill pulls the reader in their vortex with dazzling ease. When Harry in Va. and the anonymous mouthbreathers don't get the ending they think is deserved they pitch a fit that makes a screaming toddler in terrible twos stage look like the Dali Lama.

Personally I hated the ending to " Catch 22 ". Yossarian deserts the army and scampers off to Sweden. Doesn't matter. Joseph Hellen is a master author and that book will resound for centuries. HATED the resolution to Cohen brothers " No Country for Old Men " written by Cormac McCarthy.

It DOESN'T MATTER . Its a great, great book and movie. A satisfying ending is no more and probably less the cherry perched on top of sundae. Don't even get me going on " Lonesome Dove"or "Term of Endearment" fade to black.

Writers who aspire to be great CAN'T BE afraid to piss off their audiences. In time, if ending is organic - the outrage will simmer down and those who matter will see the writer's truth. To quote Steve Austin : " that's the bottom line ".

Full marks * * * * *

sorry i didn't care for the ending. to put up with what was pushed at him by both families and just accept it with what they all have done to him. seems to me that you have made the man into a spineless cuckold. with his military training i really don't see that man taking this just laying down with out some sort of getting his pride and self respect back.

Wife cheats, bring lovers wife and extended family into his home and he falls into bed with the two women?? This shit is so bad, I couldn't finish the story. Well written, but chicken shit made into chicken salad is still shitty chicken salad.

Your better than this.......

... conflict. I didn't like that he just seemed to accept the past. Good piece of writing though.

I like the consept of forgiveness and reconcilation. But there has to be sacrifices on both sides. In this story the writer paints a man ending up with two women, as the number two man for both. I could not live with that. Karen had to sacrifice something too. I would have given her a choice, either the painting or me. Saying to her that to live as a couple she had to give me the painting to burn while she watched. If not, I would walk out of her life. In this case it was a one sided sacrifice, living in the shadow of another man for the rest of his life.

...when you have your petty appetites? Phew! Honor is such a provincial thing, we are worldly francophones, we are sophisticated, we drop honor like just so much litter, and step daintily over it as we move towards our selfish indulgences.

Ah, yes, you make a pledge to your mate, your fellow soldiers, your country, but of course you know you can discard it as soon as it becomes inconvenient. After all, we are sophisticates! We are worldly! We have no soul and live without values, like all cosmopolitan citizens of a decaying culture.

Despicable.

Awful. I have enjoyed the author's other stories but this is distasteful. The plot can be dressed up as intellectually as possible but the fact remains that the husband can never compare to Saint Phillipe, the wonderfull artist on canvas and in bed. The wife remains the most dispicable character I have read about in a while. And the female cuckold is another sorry specimen of womanhood. In fact, all the women in the story are dreadful in their own way. As for the husband, perhaps self esteem will appear on his deathbed, when he evaluates the mess his life has turned out to be. even though he gets to sample what to some are the delights of wider sexual experiences, the overall picture I get from his life is sadness.

Wife cheats which taints the memories of their whole married life together and he just accepts that.

Real man would've slashed & burned the painting and pissed on the ashes along with that of the grave of the artist for portraying his wife in such an unsavory light. Let wife know you defecate on our marriage and memories, I do the same on yours. Her "lover" is nothing but a low life scum that should be treated that way even after he passes; his own family even said it wasn't right of him to take another man's wife as a lover; they should've castrated him before hand if he couldn't keep it in his pants.

And regardless of who the "wife" brings into the bed to soften the blow (cheat him of his true life) she is just a slut once she let someone other than her husband occupy her bed. Oh sure she feels sorry now he's discovered the whole despicable truth. She should've never let a conniving con-artist work his way into her panties - not a very smart, educated woman; really stupid actually.

So, sorry couldn't find anything very likable about you characters. But, have to say the story was decently written; even with all the little dammed French lines. Furthermore the French & French-Canadians are nothing but, arrogant idiots that need saving at every turn. Sorry history speaks loudly on that one.

But in the end , it still smells like Shit !

This story evolved (bloomed?) into a very different beast, with Persephone as a (the) central character. I am left to ponder - and I love that you have done that. A truly creative piece of art is not comfortable - or predictable - but challenging. I will contemplate this one for a while - and I love that - I love when an artist challenges me to participate. It is a rare occurrence. 5 stars for for laying yourself out there and offering up something unique. Remember that in his time, Beethoven was vilified and labeled a beast for breaking the rules.

Its not that I want infidelity punished. All too often I read tales where the cheating spouse (usually a wife) is punished way over the top.... not good, not a satisfying read for me.

She was in love with two men for most of her marriage at the time of her lovers death and had he not died I presume the affair would have continued.

Rob seemed to be the only one unaware of what was going on.

On discovering his wifes long term infidelity the two women set about seducing him ..... why ?

To make him feel better ? To make the pain go away ?

His wife kept the affair secret whilst everyone else in the know thought he was ok with it...... how charming.

I cannot help but feel that Rob would be pretty much devastated by his wifes behavior, and with so many people also knowing I think it would be more than his ego could stand.

Jumping into bed with his wife, and being joined by her lovers widow ...... how is that going to make him feel good about himself ?

Its not about seeing his wife punished Mr Gerald, its about what would be the more likely outcome from these events.

They are intelligent people, I think there would be pain, separation, probably divorce... and quite possibly reconciliation at a later time.

I just dont see them jumping into bed together just weeks after such a discovery.

Thanks for sharing. Sorry for being so critical. I had high hopes for this story and was hoping for a very different ending to the one in your mind.

But there needs to be remorse for forgiveness. You never bothered to show that, his wife felt guilty but in her chapter she showed absolutely no contrition. There was no effort shown to rebuild the lost trust and respect, simply a "here is the former wife of the man who I cheated upon you with, now let's throw out any character you might have and screw like monkeys."

In addition, the sections of the story do not meld. Part 1 and 2 feel completely separate, part 3 and 4 match but seem utterly different than the other parts. It felt as if you had 3 different tales and tried to create a collage out of multiple pasta types and glue. The end result is a raac that makes no sense.

I agree with mordbrand. There was no remorse and the wife didn't even try to rebuild the trust in the relationship. Honestly, if felt like the husband was only being manipulated the entire time so the wife would not feel guilty and that everything she had done was perfectly ok. He became almost the perfect cuckold, the only difference is the other guy is dead. The truth is infidelity is not ok without mutual consent of the husband and wife. I don't believe this has to be a btb story and she has to meet some horrible end, but there should be something to convey remorse and some token of punishment. Especially since this affair was more then during the time the husband was at war. The sexual portion of the affair may have lasted only during war time, but the emotional affair continues even after death. It was still hidden and obviously she was still in contact with Avil and Phillip without his knowledge. That is still an on going affair. The wife got everything she wanted and the only guilt she felt was that the affair came to light. This is shown if all 4 parts are read. No catharsis can even occur since the wife doesn't admit to wrong doing and as I entwined before the husband is manipulated into accepting the status quo. Basically this story is one where infidelity is rewarded. Catharsis is not achieved by throwing two women at a guy and expect everything will be ok. I'm must say I'm disappointed in the final ending of the story.

Enough of the rant I guess. In terms of writing and content, chapters 3 and 4 could have been better. The first two chapters were well written,but only portions of these chapters showed the same thought. The biggest issue is the transitions, both between chapters 2 and 3 and within chapters 3 and 4. It was confusing at times, which impacted the interpretation of the story. A least to mean you were not able to get your point across. I also think this story still belonged in the lw section and did not make much sense being in group.

She cheated while he was fightin g for his country. Let her go!

I already read this on the other site, I will probably have to read it hear again so that I can cut and paste specific parts to comment on, but I have some significant thoughts I want to get out there.

First,I LOVED "The Bridge", I thought the wife was a miserable cunt who got what she deserved,and the husband was great! Given RG's thoughts in his letter to justbobkc and his opening remarks in this story, I didn't hold out much hope, but given his skill as a writer I hoped for a better effort at justifying his conclusion, and there I feel he failed miserably.

To begin with we never heard Karen's "explanation". True, that wasn't what turned him, but it obviously paved the way for Avril.

Second, he was completely changed from the Rob we met in Ch's 1 & 2. THAT Rob would NEVER accept that situation, He CERTAINLY wouldn't have accepted playing second fiddle to Philippe AGAIN before resolving their issues.

If he DID agree to wait, he would have moved out before sharing a bed with Karen AND Avril!

And the idea that he and Philippe are somehow "even" because they shared each others wives,when Philippe had Karen when she was young and Rob was a cuckold, and Rob gets Avril when she is old, maybe a "young" old, but still old, and Philippe is DEAD!

I've usually sought out RG's stories, but in the future I am probably going to have to wait to read comments first.

On SOL I sent him feedback, hoping for an alternate ending, if he doesn't maybe one of the other great writers here will take up the challenge.

Where do you see him "emotionally and empatheticily constipated"? I'm sorry that he couldn't "empathize" with his wife's adultery! Where was HER empathy for HIM, being mad at him for serving his country while moving her lover into his bed and his children's lives, poisoning their relationship with their father?

This chapter of the story was difficult to read right after its beginning when it so completely dishonored what service men and women go through when it characterized the wife as being "abandoned" when he was called up from the reserves, which somehow justified her taking a lover. What bull. This whole story centered on the idea that the outlook of the two wives and Phillipe was the correct one. Everything from his wife's infidelity to his relationship with his sons was somehow his fault. Surely his wife including his sons in her second life would have nothing to do with it? And he just accepted it? More bull. What a terrible way to start the day. Reminds me of a line from a Sandler movie, something like "we are all dumber after listening to (or reading) it."

I like your idea, maybe even make HER destroy it!

Maybe make her piss on it first, like she pissed on the marriage, possibly even make her slash it to pieces before burning because taking a knife to something makes its destruction much more personal.

It could have ended in so many way. The sons hating Karen and Avril for making them live a lie and for estranging them from their father.

Avril stealing Karen's husband in revenge?

What gives them the right, playfully or not, for suggesting that this might not be their first time together?

Given everything else that has gone on it is not only a natural assumption, but I don't believe for a SECOND that Karen and Avril haven't been at least occasional lovers!

You probably read most of the comments and realized by now that the majority were not very satisfied with the story. It's not necessarily that the man eventually just accept what happened but a lack of respect for the reader. To this I have to agree.

As has been pointed out and I want to reinforce, you got several of the most important parts out of your story. The end also has no real relation to the beginning. Example, the conversation between the husband and wife when she told him "the love story" was actually a central part, if not the central part, of this ongoing story. Now, I don't know if you just got lazy or just figured that it would be easier to make the story go in the direction you wanted by ignoring this vital point. But, by ignoring it and leaving the reader to wonder what was said?, what did he feel?, what did Karen say?, you left the reader in a mental quandary. They couldn't fill in parts because they didn't understand the emotional content. Without that the rest of the story is rudderless. So, I have to agree with other commenters that it just kind of wandered.

I am sure that if you were to reread your own story, you would agree that chapters 1 and 2 have recognizably little to do with chapters 3 and 4! It seriously feels like you talking about a whole new set of characters.

Rob's acceptance and later attributed "love" for the wife of his substitute (whom he hated) is totally out of place and not explained. In the way you originally depicted Rob she would only serve as a constant reminder that while he was out serving his country and suffering is own loneliness and separation, his wife was able to fulfill her need with a surrogate husband!

Karen, the consummate self-centered bitch, shows no remorse for what she has done or for the lie she allowed her husband to live. She had her needs taken care of but, as a veteran myself, I have to ask what about his needs? All she wants is for him to just forgive her and forget. The man you originally depicted in chapters 1 and 2 could never and would never do such a thing.

The other woman is just, to put it bluntly, a basket case. She puts up with her husband infidelities and emotional insensitivity for years and then falls apart when he dies. Her answer to this is to latch on to the husband of her "sister". What kind of bullshit is that?

And the whole extended family crap! The estranged gay son tells his father that he, the son, is going to marry his lover and the father just gets up and gives them a hug? No talk? No discussion? This man is so emotional out of sinc with the rest of the world

i began to wonder why he would be upset at the wife at all. You are now painting a picture of a man totally separated from others. He is now and for the rest of the story suffering from Asperger Syndrome!

I think you see where we readers are going with this. To put it simply, as a story this was a total cop-out! You let too many integral parts of the story go unaddressed in what seems an effort to do some kind of, oh, I don't know, experimental writing. That's fine to submit to some kind of creative writing journal or whatever. But it's not acceptable here. Here, for better for worse, readers expect the harmed party to either burn the other one to the ground, reconcile, or be content with being a cuckold. There has to be some real resolution to whatever conflict. This story totally lacked in that area.

I've liked some of your other stories and you should certainly can carry on writing and submit here. But please, for the love of God, have it make some sense! Draw lines from A to B, connect the dots, and don't make the reader have too fill in all the blanks!

And make the end of the story related somehow to the beginning!

What a story, I love it and everyone won in the end.

We just had to finish the story we all hate so much. Odd how that works. We followed it over here so we could tell the writer, and the world, how badly his story sucks and how much we hate the unfaithful wife. That means that on some level, we care about the story. It means we have some emotions when we think of this story. Or, as many claim, it means it is a horrible story, and that we just had to express our dislike and distaste. Could it be that this writer accomplished one or more of his goals? Are you thinking about the characters and how angry it all made you? I am. I have never much spent time thinking about how bad a story was. I would simply forget it immediately and never comment on it. Not this time! There is something about this work. This writer has an edge.

The non-man wimps out and ends up with two sluts. Yipeee Skippee!

Don't worry, I left a wimp warning in loving wives for you. I know nobody really wants to read this shitty RAAC wimp bull shit.

Rob was cheated on by his wife Karen by her fuck buddy Phillippe and her fuck buddy's wife Avril. However the worst perpetrator in this whole story was the Author ... Richard Gerald.

Nice cop out, by not giving us the conversation between him and the slut. What? You couldn't get it up? I hear many authors have that problem. Couldn't think of a plausible way of convincing the readership of why the bitch is allowed to bring her whoring accomplice in to help browbeat Rob into accepting the unacceptable.

You see a character can act on his beliefs and be true to his nature. If the author writes the character with a backbone, (in this case he did in the first chapter) then he should be allowed to support himself with it.

The way I read Rob's character he had more self-respect and scruples then to fall for the utterly ridiculous premise of a three way with the whore of Paris. He should have been even more offended with his slut wife for bring the Parisian whore into his home. I don't even know why he would be talking to her, for him, she has nothing he needs to hear.

You seem to be into jets and aircraft Richard. Well sonny boy, you just (screwed the pooch) I didn't even bother to read after the first paragraph. It was obvious that you had no intentions of being true to your characters. You left out the MOST important piece of the story. The confrontation?

Last two paragraphs of PT 2

He comes down about an hour later for dinner. I have expensive steaks and a good bottle of Cabernet. We eat, and then I begin. I speak to him from my heart. I don't lie or withhold. Shielding Rob from the truth is over.

"I met a wonderful man who was there for me when I needed him. First, he helped me sexually when I was in a terrible situation, and then he took care of my children and me when I was left alone," I begin...??????????????

THAT IS WHERE IT FINISHED

First line of PT 3

Something was wrong. It was in the way the engines sounded. The F-14 Tomcat was sluggish.

Where in god's name is the rest of her confession????????? For the reader to understand where the fuck you're going with this, you really need to have put that in PT3 right up front and allow the reader to judge. After all if you didn't want them judging then what's the point of publishing anything

Let's summarise this story in point form

1. Wife losses her Libido and instead of talking to her husband she takes a LOVER????PLEASE first insanity, you really need more insight into the female psyche.

2. While her loving husband is over seas in service to his country she not only continues her cheating, but bring him in as a pseudo father and forces an impressionable child to lie to his father. That my dear friend is CHILD ABUSE.

3. Gets found out and is upset that her little sexual fling has been found out because she was a deceitful lying bitch. Selfishness it's all about her right, no one else matters

4 Comes home and demands her husband talk to her so she can rub his face in her cheating. DEMANDS????

5. Bring her fuck buddy's wife in to bludgeon her husband into accepting her nefarious life style on the assumption that a quick fuck and a full stomach will fix everything. And all the husband does is go back to work and fuck with jet engines. I get the impression Richard that you're the boy without balls. Tell me Richard,has Mrs Gerald got a nice set of ball earrings???

Well Richard, have I got this right mate?

WHY, if you wanted him to be a wimp, did you give balls in the first chapter. Was it so you could have the enjoyment of watching the readers go bug eyed when you tore them off him and made earrings out of them for his slut wife. Did you take his cock as well so the fuck buddy's wife has something to use on a cold Parisian night when she can't find a client to service her.

All you did mate was discredit yourself as a writer

I can't call you an author, Your first chapter was good and the second was almost as good, but as usual, you ran out of steam and deflated.

TOO BAD, SO SAD

I posted a comment to Chapter 2, stating that the success of the story - as a story with its own internal reality - will depend on the consistency with which the trends in chs 1-2 were brought to a satisfactory conclusion.

Chs 3-4 don't fit the first two chapters. Little to nothing was picked up and developed.

(i) Nothing about Karen's behavior was addressed, except as more self-justification. (ii) No dramatic confrontation between Karen and Robert.

I'll explain what I mean in terms of effective drama. Be clear about this: it concerns the writing, not about my preferences about endings. I can read a good story about a mass murderer without needing to like the guy. Should be obvious ..

OK, so the core of the drama at the start of the story was a build-up to a confrontation between two world-views, or two moral perspectives. AS WRITTEN (i.e., author's words in chs 1-2) Karen was being delusional - insofar as guilt etc played a role. The delusion was illustrated in how she denied any wrong-doing while still keeping secrets etc.

At that point I thought the exposition would be in how her delusion is removed, and how Robert deals with that. Specifically, a contrast between Karen's moral view and Robert's moral view. Yet, we are not given Robert's view (except hurt) and there is no drama in moral confrontations.

Instead, the story devolves into Robert just having two wives, with them basically saying that HE OWES THEM because they need him. Sure, Karen needed Philippe as well.

With that rationale, the story could just as easily have been the two wives accepting Robert's point of view, with just as little drama.

And that's it. The story fails because chs 3-4 do nothing to resolve the setup in chs 1-2 in a dramatic fashion. No clash of points of view that was eventually resolved one way or the other. It was an extremely unsatisfying read, given the potential of the start.

If the author's goal was to create an unrealistic story with little consistency between it's constituent parts, simply to provoke readers, then the author succeeded magnificently. However, that doesn't make it a good story. It also doesn't mean that readers might skip reading it, people tend to like rubber necking at a train wreck.

In addition, there is a term for someone who writes things on the internet simply to piss others off. It starts with a T and also describes a monster that hid under bridges requesting tolls. I am reserving judgement at this point as to whether RG did this intentionally just to stir up shit, but if that was the purpose, then this entire story was simply trolling.

I don't know who edited this ms. but practically all of the instances where a french word was slipped in to make Avril's dialog seem 'in character' were wrong or inappropriate. Not only were the words wrong, but an English speaking french-Canadian person wouldn't use those substitutions anyway. Her English was already adequate, judging by the other words she was using. It's a detail you might want to rethink.

The good:

You are a technically sound writer who is able to draw out emotions from your readers, seemingly at will.

You are able to create strong female characters that are vastly different from one another.

Ch 2 was an excellent picture into the mind of a cheater.

Your combining of ch 3 and 4 was smart and made for a better read.

The bad:

Your male character, from ch 1 and 2, shows little to no resemblance to the male character here in ch 3 and 4. It's like it is a different person all together.

It seems like you already had the end result in mind and was going to force the story to fit your ending.

Your arrogance in stating that if we can't understand the sons and father's strained relationship, we must not have grown sons.

In summation:

You are an excellent writer, with a great ability to draw emotion. But, even in fiction, there is only so far that you can stretch a rubber band before it breaks.

In your building of the male character, in ch 1, you created a character that does not fit with the man you have in ch 3 and 4. To achieve the ending you have, you really needed to make a weaker man, in the beginning, then the outcome would make more sense.

Thank you for writing.

Ok second chapter.

Worst last chapters on record.

The whole simply makes no sense.

A man betrayed first by his wife over a period of many years and through her by his children reconciles with the wife, but only after the wife further betrays said husband by having the husband put his pain on hold while his wife and the wife of the lover build a shrine to the lover? Really?!?

Just awful. Perhaps the worst wrap up of story ever.

First thanks for sharing. You are one of the authors I look for when I check Literotica everyday. The problem I have is that I never felt the love that Karen had for Rob. You did very well showing me the love she had for Phil. I just never got to where I thought she was with Rob for any thing more than duty and security. At one point she says she did the do anything wrong. Even if you believe that true love conquers all, I have to think that moving a lover into a house while the guy is gone away in service to the country could be considered wrong by almost everyone. But this is just my opinion on a very well written piece of literature. Thank you again for sharing, and I look forward to your next piece.

Ahaz

I really enjoyed a lot of your works. In fact Jailbreaking and The Bridge are two of my favorite stories in this genre.

But as so many others have pointed out much better than I could , this story was just so infuriating on many levels .

Now some commentaters , ones I really respect like HDK and Lordslamdawgg, make the point that by making so many folks so upset , then the author has fulfilled some great literary device. I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with that view.

I believe that a author can push literary boundaries , but can do so in a more complete way than was done in this case . As so many pointed out , the most important points of conflict was simply glossed over or simply left totally out.

I think even I , someone with zero talent , technical skills , nor imagination , could write a great story using those rules.

I'm not sure if Laurel or Manu keep track , but yesterday had to have set some site record for comments on a non completed series. I'm not sure I would want that distinction , given the nature of most of them. I guess you kind of understand Frankenstein's monsters feelings when he saw the townsfolk coming with pitchforks and torches.

I have to agree with Mandy01's varied reasons. First, Karen showed utter lack of respect for her husband, turned to another man when she had no sex drive instead of talking to her husband, lied to him for decades, and forced a strange man on her children. Those aren't actions of love but of selfishness. Second, she showed no remorse for any of it. Yes, yes, April said she was crying. That's not showing remorse, that's feeling her own loss--again, selfishness. Third, everyone in the story seems to think Rob is the villain for this, when he had his whole world eviscerated. Lastly, Rob never got all of Karen. She always gave part of her love to another man--for twenty-plus years. How the hell would either of them know what their marriage was like with the two of them in there together? There was always a third man in their bed. The marriage Rob thought they had never existed. Just not pleasant reading.

From a technical standpoint, the story is well-written, in the sense that it flows well and is structurally sound. But I thought the ending was forced to a rapid conclusion, without fully developing the characters. There is still a lot of room to develop here. There is reference to Rob's ability to handle a crisis but he just kinda goes along with Karen and April. So character development is a little lacking.

And by the way, the comment about having grown sons...that was unnecessarily snide. Seriously. I have a close relationship with my son and I am close to my father. Much more so, than say, my wife to her mother. If you're just trolling your readers, that's up to you. I expected better, based on your previous efforts.

Between the rapid end of the story and distasteful characters, I am afraid this whole set-up didn't work for me. I am not a hardcore BTB'r when reading Loving Wives, and you believe in polyamory and you want to write those characters, that is fine. But protagonists with little self-respect, who aren't proactively driving the story...they just aren't ever going to be interesting to me.

I usually enjoy your stories, But this is the worse story you have produced . you have taken a clever idea but delivered rubbish. with such unbelievable and disjointed elements. I feel sad for you.

This is your worst. Should not have been finished.

a man forgive 25 years of infidelity and not even really get a heartfelt apology from his "wife"

...I could on skim it. To read the whole thing would have been to painful.

Sorry, I can't think of one.

This war hero never actually confronts his son (who lied to him constantly as an adult even if he could be excused for being manipulated as a child) or really his wife either about a decades long love affair with someone else. He never really shows them how impotent it made him feel.

He ends up inviting -- or at least putting up with -- his wife's lover's family staying at his house for Thanksgiving, and then has sex with both his wife and her lover's wife because there's no other room for him to sleep (no Holiday Inn nearby?).

His wife also has sex with his wife's lover's wife, and he doesn't even object.

He attends a gallery opening for his wife's lover's paintings in which the nude painting of his wife cheating in his bedroom is prominently on display and is fine with being completely humiliated there.

I submit that there has never in history been a war hero who is such a fucking spineless testicle-damaged pussy. While normally I judge stories on writing ability and originality this is so fucking over-the-top that I almost lost my lunch several times. I'm shocked that any guy who is not himself a pussy could possibly finish this story.

HDK's comment in the last episode had some viability, and if this story had really gotten into our hero's feelings, he had had normal anger-induced confrontations with other members of his family, and he ultimately still had some sort of relationship with his ex-wife, HDK would be right. However making this guy into a boot-licking piece of shit destroys any rationality whatsoever.

By the way, I hated this story and gave it one of the few 1s I've ever given for a story that wasn't written by someone with only a third grade education.

Let's look at the facts:

1) Most of his marriage has been a lie. His wife turns to another man and has an affair. When he's called up to go to war, his wife moves her lover into the marital bed, spends the holidays with the lover's family and gets the kids to keep all this from him. She then continues the affair after his return from war until the lover's recent death. The result is a whole other, combined family that does not include him.

2) The lover's widow and whole family, along with his kids and their significant others, move in take over his home, oust him from his room and they all expect him to be okay with it, even lecturing him on how he should behave.

3) He loses a groundbreaking, lucrative government contract because of his wife's lover and the lover's family, especially the lover's widow's communist background. This HAS to put a severe dent in his professional life.

And he's okay with all this?

I don't know. It's WAY too much to swallow.

No reolution of the conflict, never an insight into the husband's thoughts while his wife told him of her lover. In the first chapt, it ends with him vowing the marriage is over. So what changed his mind? We never find out.

It's like you wrote this as a joke, a satire or an attempt to just irritate the reader.

tales that so thoroughly confound and frustrate the vociferous btb brigade. Life is not, despite the perverted wishes of said brigade, entirely divided into black and white segments. Most of life is an amalgam of grey(ish) shades and tints. Most of it also is a compromise. And there are no rules set in concrete. Praise be to the author for crafting a tale that follows sinuous paths through life's many travails. And exceedingly painful ones at that. Definitely, imho, a five starrer.

This is an excellent story and well crafted. Your protagonist was able to reconcile a situation impossible for me however you crafted circumstances that were enabling.

The shallow two dimensional commentators aside, this was a fine story. Thanks for sharing it

MFH

My only problem is resolving his sons lying by omission for 20 years. That alone was the likely cause of his estrangement from his boys. Other than that a very good story. I am giving you a 4 this time around.

JimC

...and by that I don't mean a study of a failed character, I mean that the study is flawed to the point of failure.

I must agree almost entirely with onlythelonelylove's dissection of this story's failings, and I too had hoped for much more.

That said, I think that what the author was trying to do/say (and missed) was an attempt to reveal the dichotomy between the rational and emotional. The wife was obviously a by-default 90-ish percent emotional creature (I say it in those terms because we are, all of us, capable, at any given time, of being 0% emotional and 100% logical, or 100% emotional and 0% logical creatures. Further, we can and do run the gamut of all steps in between those extremes. Where our psychology expresses itself is the when and how of the changes in those percentages over time and in response to stimuli.), and as such was largely powerless but to "fall in love" and follow upon her emotions with actions. As a result, yes she was a very selfish person with yet still a selfless/"giving" self-image. That in itself is a fascinating psychology to explore, but the author does so without a map or seemingly, a plan.

Such a person would tend to be a "leaf in the wind", feeling that they were giving beauty to the world around them as a fallen colorful leaf does while caught in the eddies and currents of the breeze of life. While directionless, they would still be fulfilling their "purpose" in life - ignorant and/or uncaring of the fact that others will need to rake up after them or of their ultimate fate as added fuel in the bonfires with all the other fallen leaves.

If the protagonist here is enough of a man to suffer the indignity of his beloved wife's extended perfidity and distrspect by cloistering himself away from her (and yet, not fully casting her aside), then the psychology of betrayal is not lost upon him. Yet, he is simultaneously enough of a wimp to permit himself to be "crowded into submission" between both women? The dichotomy is too much to bear without a deeper understanding and expression of his inner strengths. Is he, really, just that much like the dead artist, personality-wise, that he sublimated all his anger and emotional outrage into his work? If so, then the author fails to let us in on this mechanic of his mind, and for the readers, this is a major point of failure in the story.

I will give this story the first one I have ever given a story. Usually I just don't vote when I don't like a story but in this case I would like to make a point to an author who has so much potential. The first two parts started out with great possibilities. Then the last parts came and destroyed it all. I won't regurgitate all of the criticisms that have already been written but I would add that I believe the author did not think this through, some of the story seemed incoherent and disconnected, there was no resolution to what was going thru husband's mind and it seemed very rushed as th H and W (husband and wife's relationship and its resolution was never developed). It was almost like the person who wrote the ending was on some hallucinogen while writing it.

The aforesaid notwithstanding, perhaps the author wanted to do this to test the readership. There are possible analogies to the engine and husband's work on it and the wife and H's relationship the author might have been trying to make that could have made a deeper point. I do not want to discourage this writer since in general his writing is much better than the average LW fare and I hope he continues. You can't please every body all the time.

anon.1

I can't believe that you are defending this story!

I am NOT part of the BTB brigade, you have written many reconciliation stories that I have enjoyed because a) they made sense, the protagonist at the end was basically the same as at the beginning, allowing for some organic change, and b) the antagonist showed true remorse and guilt.

Here, the Rob we met in the first two chapters is totally changed, with nothing but Avril's self-serving "explanation" to account for it. Karen shows ZERO remorse at her actions, she even still believes that she was justified in her actions, and that ROB is wrong in not being able to accept them!

She was WRONG in turning to Philippe to "solve" her sexual problems instead of discussing them with her husband, going to counseling if necessary.

She was WRONG to bring Philippe into their marital bed while her husband was off serving their country, and WRONG to involve their sons in the affair.

She was WRONG to bring Philippe's family into their home, forcing him out of his room and into bed with her AND Avril.

Rob was WRONG in not packing a bag and leaving, telling her to call him when her "guests" were gone.

RG does have a way with with words but in this case was a lousy storyteller. I think this was all a game to play with readers' minds and emotions which is cute, but intellectually dishonest and certainly condescending. We should not have been surprised however. From other stories it is plain to see that a husband can not bend over far enough and there isn't enough vaseline in the world for RG to be satisfied.

In my opinion, there is an implied contract between the author and reader when publishing a story, RG has broken that contract. He has treated his readers as lab rats. The word arrangement is nice, I guess but he is not the "writer" that he thinks that he is.

If this describes the author's world and life view, it is a very dark place in which he resides. There are no sympathetic characters in his world. No happy ending here just a perpetuation of the wife always has mitigating circumstances and the husband should overlook everything.

This story might have had legitimate reconciliation in it but not the way it's written.

He did get a lot of comment, some of it thoughtful, so he has to be happy.

We should all be forewarned, don't expect too much from RichardGerald.

It is NOT unusual or odd to expect faithfulness and respect in a marriage!!!!!!. Both Avril and Karen can kiss my ass. Who needs women like that? Selfish with no honor. It would have been better if he just burned that old house down the damn painting on the front porch. There was no good marriage. There was no honor. It would have been so much more appropriate then this pabulum.

As so many have pointed out, his artistic skill with jet engines is sooo much more important than an arrogant artists who steals wife's affection and fidelity.

Harry called it - the disconnect between the characters from chaps1-2 to 3&4 completely ruined your effort. Surely the retard idiots wimps/cucks will enjoy this piece of shit but the credibility of this author falls faster than bt2 (the tranny) falls to its knee to slurp cum. '1"

Did not work for me. I couldn't reconcile his estranged relation with his son Then his acceptance of betrayal and the other woman. Just broke the story for me.I lost interest and just skimmed to the end.🚬

2*s.

AMerryman

I guess we should start to expect this from RG.

He wrote a great story in "Jail Breaking", then wimped out with the sequel "On the Lam".

He started with a great story in "Crime & Punishment" before ruining it at the end.

He wrote a great story in "The Bridge", then pretty much disavowed it in his letter to justbobkc in his sequel.

I'm fearing a follow-up to "Becoming Mrs. Pleasure" where Rick becomes a willing cuckold!

Are chapters 3-4 really chapters 5-6? It sure reads that way .. some middle chapters are missing, chapters which explain how Karen's and Robert's respective points of view confront each other and finally resolved in this entry.

Consider a thought experiment: how far can a wife's betrayal be pushed which still allows a husband to forgive? We can imagine a range of so-called betrayals and then readers can align themselves to one or another boundary condition that they would not cross. The extreme BTB crowd have zero tolerance, which makes such stories uninteresting. An extreme RAAC story is equally uninteresting.

What makes a story relatively more interesting is if it gives some insight into the thought processes of the protagonists at any level of betrayal that the story enacts.

I thought the author did a decent job of showing us Karen's mind in Ch 2. It looked like a huge hurdle to get over, given certain counter-assumptions regarding how partnership/loyalty/trust is defined. Still, I waited.

The story gave us none of that .. the missing chapters.

I had a glance at the author's story list. Apparently, he's written several on the theme 'past lover discovered'. I don't know if this interest is autobiographical and he is writing as a way to work through a real experience. Whatever, the solution in this incomplete story seems to be "a husband's love should know no limits". Fair enough, as a postulate, but even that has to be worked out explicitly in a dialog/interaction between protagonists. For example, how unconditional ought it be, and why hold only for the husband and not the wife?

Lots of room for interesting analysis of alternatives. Too bad the author didn't do it in this incomplete story. Telling readers that the wife is good, and 'try to see it from the husband's point of view' only means that the story itself has failed to demonstrate these assertions.

It was not a better story! The women came across as arrogant, believing that he should just accept the wife's betrayal also its just too unbelievable that he would just allow it to fester and wait until after January. I believe that this a Cuckold story, which I'm very piss that I wasted my time on, I believe that you are a horrible storyteller.

On one hand there is the total lack of remorse on the side of the wife (you can't really blame the son - no kid wants to risk causing his parents divorce). It is simply impossible to forgive a person who doesn't acknowledge any wrong-doing. All she can say is: "I am sorry that you are so narrow minded that you got hurt by my infidelity" or "I am sorry that you found out". But that is not really an apology. And therefore it would be impossible for the protagonist to move on, because all forgiveness must invariably begin with one party admitting a guilt.

On the other hand there is the issue of damage control and making the best out of a shitty situation. Revenge is nothing but a short burst of satisfaction, but afterwards you are standing alone and miserable in the ruins of a broken home. The violent BTB supporters are usually not the sharpest tools in the shed, and tend to forget that life must go on afterwards. So even though the protagonist of the story never really gets a decent apology for the immense treachery and deception of his wife, he ended up with a pretty neat set-up and ultimately a winning hand.

Besides his unrepenting wife, he of course has to put up with Avril's bullshit about what awesome a man Philippe was (as if he didn't demand free sex in return for his "help" ). But Philippe is no longer around, so he can simply close his ears and avail himself of the goods. You can't fight a ghost, but on the other hand a ghost can't hurt you either. If the protag wanted, he could even imagine getting his revenge that way. As in: "I'm alive and I'm busy banging the shit out of your women Philippe - have fun rotating in your grave you dumb fuck".

Yeah all in all not a bad ending for the protagonist, and probably a more realistic and well constructed conclusion than the BTB posse would have liked. I will have to give you a four.

Spare me the crap about their "pure" love. Pure crap would be more accurate. Why did the artist paint his lover in her own bedroom? He wanted to be damn sure her husband knew that they had cuckolded him in his own bed. This was nothing more than two very selfish, self-centered assholes doing whatever the hell they wanted with no regard for any damage they caused. This reads like a cheating wife's fantasy of what an affair might be like. She gets her romantic love (and hot sex) with the handsome, dashing artist and the only consequence is hubby moving upstairs for a little pout. I call bullshit. How is hubby going to feel when he realizes all those intimate little episodes of expanding their sex lives weren't the shared learning experience he thought they were. It was just his 'loving wife' training up her little beta boy to be closer to the alpha male lover.

Karen a good wife? The other stuff is just because she is a woman of passion?

She first took a lover because she had issues with her life and husband that had taken away her sexual desire. She had avoided dealing with her issues by avoiding sex with Rob and by faking her feelings. After Philippe she was able to enjoy sex just for its own sake so that things appeared good to Rob. (Avoided having to work on her marriage)

Rob went to war and she avoided having to work with him sorting out her feelings towards him (anger, abandonment issues). She did it by moving her lover into Rob's house and not involving Rob in dealing with her problems. (Avoided having to work on her marriage)

She avoided commitment to Rob and his problems during his (possible) PTSD period by keeping up her relationship with Philippe. (Avoided having to work on her marriage)

She avoided possible ethical concerns from Avril by lying (possibly by omission) about having Rob's permission. She always praised Rob to the sky to Avril to avoid Avril discovering any truth about her relationship with Rob. (Avoided having to work on her marriage)

Her son moved far away to hide his sexuality from his father (like mother like son) and she avoided having to deal with Rob about it by lying to him about her not knowing what was wrong. She knew that this was hurting Rob very much, but that wasn't as important to her as her keeping her life easy was. (Avoided having to work on her marriage)

She never committed to her husband, always keeping her other life as a fallback. Avril was right about sex not being so big a thing in all of this, it was the smallest of Karen's betrayals.

but the group sex part was just off the charts banal. Hubby might as well start standing on a corner in San Francisco and sucking dicks for free. You absolutely emasculated him but that seems to be the point of the whole story. It was hard to read, your expertise couldn't overcome the inane story line enough to smooth it out. I don't necessarily think burn the bitches, just ignore them till they go away. As for the boys, I don't think there was enough mental health left there to ever get them straight. Another couple of pieces of collateral damage.

In any of your stories have you written a man with anything other than a confused and submissive personality? I don't recall any, but I don't have a photographic memory. I gave you a 2 because I'm a hell of a nice guy. Next time you start a story try some testosterone injections starting a couple of weeks before you start to write. Might change the tone of the story somewhat.

"yes she was a very selfish person with yet still a selfless/'giving' self-image" - The problem is, she was "giving" to the wrong people, instead of the husband that she claimed to love!

I have been a fan since reading "The Bridge", now I feel RG is probably the worse writer on this site. As a Veteran, I am angry. As a man who is married for over three decades, I am sickened. Rob is the weakest character I have witnessed and would spit on him were he real.

But I will point out that your perception that " there was a better story here" was a complete fallacy. The infidelity, manipulation and consequence WERE the story. You tried ( completely unsuccessfully I might note) to turn it into something else. You actually created a character who got what he deserved. You do realze that at no point did your hero actually challange or confront his wife ever, on any point at all, throughout the whole story? Sure you alluded to a conversation that you failed to document and at a point the wife asks " what do I have to do to get you to forgive me?" This was in fact the perfect moment for our hero to say " you can start by getting these French fucks I did not invite and were not consulted on out of my fucking house !" But you didn't do that you instead chose to ignore basically your whole narrative.

You also dug rather a big hole for yourself with the wife's character who you painted as extremely unsympathetic to the point I'd state that she was the type of character that the whole BTB genre was invented for yet you purposefully ignored all of this leaving huge holes in the narrative.

Your story didn't fail because it wasn't a BTB or because the infidelity went unpunished. It failed because the ending did not match the premise. In the process of writing fiction you need to resolve the plot devices and you just ignored them. As a consequence the characters and narrative became progressively more implausible to the point of absurdity.

If the reader can't believe what he is reading is possible then the whole narrative fails.

This was a rather large fail.

Learn from it in your future writing.

And reread jailbreak + on the lam. It was like I was reading a more detailed version of this story. You state in your notes on that series that you strive to have your characters remain true to themselves and not change just to suit your outcome.

However, just as you did in the two part series, you have your main character do a 180 and suddenly be ok with sleeping other spouses. In that tale, you ended up having david banging a cheating german aristocrat and his old wife. He apparently got both of them pregnant as well. I can only assume that if you carried the current story to your normal conclusion, it would be the same.

Your method seems to be to take the protagonist, show them to be violently against cheating and open marriage, then get worn down so that they can jump headfirst into the debauchery. If this pattern continues, I might find myself in agreement with harryinva that you are the former matt moreau.

You have made a mockery out of the man!

To have him accept the cuckhold role and to be alienated from his kids, all the while they kept secrets from him and lied to him for years!

You are off my list of writers that I will follow, you have no morals and no respect for the covenant of marriage to honor and forsake others.

Just plane crap!!!

Signed former Serviceman

What the hell happened between the end of chapter 2 and the beginning of chapter 3? we went from sitting down to have a marital life or death talk, to the engine having a serious problem. Where was the continuity? it was as if someone dropped a whole page.

“He gazed up at the enormous face. Forty years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath the dark moustache. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother”

Winston Smith, 1984 by George Orwell.

You shoved our protagonist into a Chinese....excuse me, FRENCH re-education camp. "Oh you poor man! Of course your unsophisticated Anglo soul does not understand how people REALLY work. But when you make the mental adjustments necessary, then you will learn to be happy with your constant sense of dismissal and humiliation. You will EMBRACE it! But we feel very bad for your pain borne of your pride."

And he does. He goes to the art show, showing off his wife playing the whore to her lover publically. The winsome sexual being...which she had vowed to ONE person and yet sublet it to someone else during an afternoon conversation...just like that.

He was stupid. She was remorseless. And having a Greek Choir telling him that infidelity was quite okay just because they 'loved' each other is not convincing. I won't tell you how horrible moving her lover's family into HIS house was, because clearly, you can't see how horrible an imposition it was. Otherwise you wouldn't have written it.

This could have been a good story. You didn't take the necessary steps to get there. I don't normally do this, but here is how I would fix this story.

First off, you wrote Avril, a HALF JAPANESE woman who had zero clue about infidelity and how damaging it is (never mind her mother). MEN in Japan can fuck around. Women...FAR less so! She disliked the husband according to your own exposition, and yet had her fall in love with the husband after ONE conversation. (To be fair, you had the wife essentially ready to lie to her husband and shed her panties after one conversation as well, so at least you are consistent)

Okay. The Husband fiscally needs to stay in the home plus he has all his 'stuff' there for his engine work. You write his engine troubles earlier in the story.

The wife and Avril keep badgering him but you DON'T bring the entire family in because it was an unforgivable imposition. Instead, you have Oscar call his dad yelling about how narrow minded his dad is. Dad, as you wrote in the first chapter, sets about trying to fix his relationships with his sons. He finds his son is gay and embraces him. He even makes a very small effort to fix things with Kevin, because, hey!, Kevin was a kid at the time. This shows an aspect of him that the wife did not appreciate before.

Kevin, meanwhile, is shocked and appalled to discover that his mother CONTINUED the relationship. At six, what did he know about sex? So that Christmas was a distant strange memory, but finding out his mother CONTINUED? A slip is understandable. Twenty years of this? He treats his mother just like his dad is...and this is the slap in the face that the wife needs to get it.

Avril's mom slaps HER daughter up the side of the head. "Japanese wives don't cheat!" That while she did what was necessary to keep Philippe (and good for you daughter!), that what Karen did was appalling! To publically humiliate a husband? When he is away at war? Much significant eyebrow waggling goes on which serves in place of emotional conflict between the Japanese.

At this point, the husband, who has been cutting back his hours to get with his sons, gets a visit from the military brass AND the university to BEG him to come back to work, but also because they are 'concerned' about his household issues. They come to interview the WOMEN. The ladies realize that her husband is one of maybe 3 people in the world who can do what he does with engines. Because they are art sluts, they don't appreciate what 'tradesmen' do. But during this interlude waiting for the Philippe exhibition, the art gallery replaces the exhibit with 'the art of machines', so they actually get to appreciate the craft of a well designed machine

Then they get the war stories and HERE, they get the fact that he wasn't being some emotionally distant douche, but was instead in REAL danger and saving tons of lives and actually doing something worthy (though for Blue State twats, I can't really see them appreciating ANY war time duty). This is another 'realization' moment for them to 'get it'.

Meanwhile, he either reads a diary or meets an old girlfriend who explains to the husband how terrified and damaged his wife was both by her hormonal responses and fear of losing him in war. So he gets this wasn't just her wanting some strange.

So they actually show some contrition. And they do your threesome to 'try to make things up to him' and not by not emotionally manipulative douches. Avril has started to learn to love this man over more than ONE conversation.

And meanwhile Hottie McHotterson who works for him starts putting the moves on him and he shows interest. THEY FACE A SENSE OF LOSS TOO!

Reconciliation is a TWO way street, not one way.

You could have had a great scene where the Japanese mother starts explaining the facts of life to the women who were frankly stupid, while the French grandmother explains that while love is special, and he was hurt, their motives had nothing to do with willfully causing pain. SHE can say it in a way he believes. The wife can't.

In all of this, he actually has REBUTALLS to stupid arguments. And they come to a compromise. He understands that his wife needed healing but she choose a bad path to healing and egregiously took it too far out of greed. He realizes that they are sincere in their love, their appreciation and that there might be a way to a loving menage relationship. It is a chance, but they all agree to take it.

End.

This story had no sense of change in the characters as written. It just had him bowing to the inevitable without enough transition.

.

I think RichardGerald is about the most talented writer on this site, but this one didn't work for me. The lack of remorse and the continual, in your face reminder that he was second and cuckolded is emasculating. Involving children and driving a wedge between....unforgivable. This crowd tends to drive towards BTB and I certainly don't, but continual emasculation is not a path that many men could or would choose to take. She is not a good wife or a good person. He is better off without.

I do like the premise of this story as in your others, being that of a man caught in a conundrum not of his own making regarding his unfaithful wife. Maybe your ending was just too real for many readers in that his financial situation left him with little realistic choice.

U pathetic fuck1*

like in real life , big and glorious artist is a hero who can never go wrong or bad. Roman Polanski drugged and fucked a minor and never had to pay for his criminal act. he just moved to europe where it's proven that he fucked a couple more girls who were not leagal of age, no they were definitly jailbait like nastassja kinski.

And still the whole world thinks , hey he makes good movies, so why should we think its a bad thing that he fucks children. he is a serial rapist and has friends in all the right positions from politics to culture, so he is welcomed everywhere. that should give us to think a bit !

so what has this to do with this story ?

the ingenious painter is bigger than life , he is aloud to do what ever he wants and nobody in this story ever criticizes him. he goes to a mans house , moves in (which would be under normal circumstances already an absolut no go) and is presented as the lifesaver of the married woman and also for not his kids because the father failed. he has started with his friends an entertaining war which was a lot more fun than beeing at home!!!!!!!!

a brainwashing to a life as lifelong liars, which estranged the kids from there father but from all others as well, the gay son could not even tell his lying mother the truth.

and now what, not only the destroyer is always present, no, his widow comes and moves in and brings the whole family of the fucking bastard with her and oh wonder , a blowjob or two later, everything is love, peace and harmony.

you know what would be a 100% more likely to happen ? a rampage, a killing frenzy !

for sure not a guy accepting (or therefore a woman) all the lying for years, the mental abuse of little kids.

you can write ok. but your plot stinks to high heaven

They are selfish, self-absorbed women. I guess they'll all just tolerate each other because sex? Interesting, but sad acceptance of relationships where you really can never trust.

She must have drugged the mac and cheese!

Well , I guess your theory is as good as any I've seen. I mean how else can one logically explain the Protag's behavior ?

Perhaps instead of LW/ group sex , maybe the whole shebang should have been posted in Mind Control category. That comes closer to explaining his mindset ( or in this case , lack there of) as any.

Or perhaps he's simply a high functioning Autistic ? I could certainly see how that could be one of only two possibilities that could logically be .

Hey guys this is a direct quote from the author himself from the sequel to Jailbreaking...

This is a sequel to the story Jail Breaking. When you disregard all the well justified criticism of my punctuation and spelling in that effort, the majority of the numerous and overly generous comments relate to the ending or lack thereof. Technically as a short story it is complete, but I admit not in an entirely satisfying way. I also notice in the comments that most readers did not see the various characters the way I do. Again my fault for not giving enough back story. I have great sympathy for the women in my story and less for my protagonist who in a very dishonest person. As the comments came in, I saw a sequel develop that would please some but not all readers. However, this story holds true to the one rule I try to keep. A CHARACTER CANNOT STEP OUT OF CHARACTER NO MATTER HOW ABSURD THE SITUATION, They must be true to themselves. Keep this rule in mind as you read the sequel."

Well I would really appreciate it if Mr. Gerald can explain to us why the husband was allowed to do just that in this story after the way his character was written in the first chapter......But I seriously doubt he will have the guts to do so.

. . . I really don't see Robert having essentially two wives makes the shift to the Group Sex category valid. As far as I am concerned this is a perfect Loving Wives story. That said, the choice of category is primarily up to the author and we as readers (I as reader) must respect his choice.

That said RichardGerald has done a good job with the emotions of life, death and love. That is what all of us who post here try to do even as we often fall somewhat short of personal expectations. Thanks for sharing with us RG.

I have enjoyed most of RG's stories..mainly because he keeps his characters true but this one does not ring true. Secrets and infidelity kept from him for over 25 years..ugh..and his kids are in on it! The wife does not regret it nor is remorseful for this huge break in trust from a man (her husband and father of her children) who was off serving his country. Then to have this character accept it and change his thoughts on it..I don't think so. He may not hate her but I don't believe he could live with her....the trust in their relationship is long gone. A solid "2".

Anxious to read your next story!

"Buckeye Fan"

I enjoyed all parts of this story, so much so that I could hardly wait for each chapter. After completion I scored it a 5 and wished I could have scored it higher. I was completely surprised by all the negative comments made, not by the troll brigade, but by well-known writers, whose work I have enjoyed many times.

RG, unlike so many others, who saw a weak husband, I saw a man who really loved Karen. He was a man who had committed his life to her and his boys, but like so many of us, he wanted only the best for them, thus the long hours necessary to provide the best all too often separated him from those he loved. He never did quite grasp the need these strange little creatures had for his time, not even after they no longer had that need. Now, as adults, they share his last name and little else. All three are aware something is wrong, but haven’t the slightest idea how to fix it, nor do they really want to fix it.

This man that so many are quick to call a wimp, is anything but; instead he answers the call of his country, knowing all too well what awaits. Like others of us he goes willingly because he knows what any weakness on his nation’s part, will bring to his country and his loved ones. (Doubters see the last 7 years of our history.) He’s a man who has faced danger and death before and now he willingly steps into the breach again, leaving his wife and boys behind.

Karen, the loving wife, is a complicated woman. Here you have created a loving wife and mother, with a high libido. She is also part bitch, but with a conscience—maybe. This woman meets a smooth, completely unscrupulous stud who thinks nothing of hiding behind the coattails of the better men than himself; the men who keep the wolves away from him and his circle of cowardly friends,who are always available to fill the sexual needs of the women the warriors must leave behind. She’s horny, he’s attractive and they do their thing. He’s also very, very good in the sack and while her conscience kills her, she’s hooked on the great sex and unwilling and probably unable to give him up. This smooth talking stud knows all the right things to say; of course he doesn’t want her to divorce her husband. If she did he might have to feed the cow, whose milk he’s now getting free.

We see her torn between great sex and love for her husband after the warrior returns. By now she has been immersed in the open marriage lifestyle, and somehow she just can’t find a way to tell her husband. Most mature readers, whose spouse haven’t been hurt them beyond repair, will understand her quandary, even if they won’t sympathize with it. Unlike others who commented here, I see a woman who is in love with three people; a woman who can’t bear to let any one of them go and whose mind is in great turmoil.

RG, you have taken these ingredients, dumped them into the great ‘Kitchen Aid’ mixer that is life and baked this cake called, ‘Another Love.’ You could have added other seasonings and the result could have been something that would have pleased others who commented. You didn’t—you chose this route—it is your story, and I hope the others, who were so hard on you, will reconsider.

This is the first of your stories I’ve read, but it won’t be the last. Thanks for the read!

The reason she cheated, the conversation, was never shared... He went from being upset to being talked into having two wives.... Can you imagine displaying the nude painting of your wife for the world to see??? Knowing what her lover had made him... Not realistic .....

Maybe what we need here is for jezzaz to write the missing chapters wherein his Ingrams and Assoc. reprogram Robert into a completely different personality like was done to Jace in Out of Love.

How else could his stepping completely out of character be explained?

I wrote a comment talking about what a piece of trash this last posting was. I see it is gone. As I looked I noticed that there were over 200 comments. Suddenly, there are only 54.

Good writing skills but ...... u dropped the ball on several big issues. She cheated even when he was there, conspired to silence the boys, lied by omission for years etc. U failed to have him confront her or them on these points. He may be better off with her, thats fine, but u cant just leave all these threads unattended to, it would wat away at anyone, perhaps a vet who has seen death, nearly had his own life ended would need to talk about it. He has enough ptsd already i would think. U could have done better i believe than just have him internalize a raac.

who rate this more than 1* have serious problems.

I like many of your stories very much, but not this one, I do hope you continue to write more though

stupid cuck shit.

Man, this story was tough. Tough for me personally because I relate a great deal to Rob. Like him, I'm introvert who feels incredibly misunderstood, especially by those closest to me. I sympathize with his pain and confusion. Sometimes I simply don't know how to convey my feelings, and instead just ignore them and hope they go away. This is exactly what he does in this story.

Also his sinking himself into a project in the midst of his marriage crumbling around him is something I also do. Sometimes you have to slowly submerge yourself into the pain, one step at a time, instead of diving in. So you try to confront your emotions in small doses, and then when it becomes to much you distract yourself with work until you're able to take another dose.

This story depresses me because even with all those people who love him, no one feels any sympathy for him and his feelings. His sons, his wife, no one understands why he's upset. It seems like the most obvious thing in the world to feel betrayal, humiliation, anger. Yet they all just poopoo it and basically tell him to get over it. "Swallow your pride." God I fucking hate that phrase. Why is man always asked to swallow his pride? Tell me what has Karen given up? Rob has to give up his pride to his family and friends, and Karen gives up what? Her virtue? She gave that up years ago. No, I have no sympathy at all for Karen, and none of her excuses sound any different than any other cheating wife on this site.

So where does that leave us, a sad story of a man that everyone will perceive as weak, a common theme in your stories. A man who still has to bury his feelings and animosity. A man that has to live with being 2nd place for the rest of his life, because the alternative is even worse. I just don't know what positive thing there is to take away from this story.

I think rg is a great writer.loved the story.no hard core btb,and super spy crap.somtimes reconciliation is best,somtimes not, this story could have gone both ways. I kinda expected that ending after reading the second chapter.I am gonna have to read it again though.the one thing I am missing is did she cheat once a month and throughout her marrige or just for the time he was gone.she indicated she set aside time once a month for him.so after I read it again that would be the deciding factor for me weather they reconcile or not.if she cheated her whole time being marrried I would say no,but if it was a short time then yes.but I think no matter what rg could have filled in a full page or two of him leaving and possibly having her served for divorce while he struggles to forgive and she fully starts to understand his pain.show her guilt start to come out and the true emotions of possibly losing him.before they reconcile.no matter what great writing...looking forward to another one..

a pathetic story....the justification of the wife for fucking another asshole, while her husband was fighting a war, is ridiculous. with the fucker being made into a french character, a damn cliche..

I have liked most of RG's past stories. I am a liberal and appreciate nuance. Few aspects of relationships are cut and dried, black and white. BUT, RG is wrong about this story. A woman who would bring her adulterous lover into the absent warrior's home and bed, who would persuade (by terror? by bribery?) their children to hide the adultery from their- then-loving father, does not love anyone but herself. RG is wrong that the story he has told is "a better one" than a story in which the warrior/ husband entirely rejects this terrible person. I usually enjoy all kinds of cheating wife stories, mostly ones with emotional complexity. I lean towards understanding and reconciliation. This story made me sick.

As a technical matter the reactions of the husband and wife resemble no persons I have ever met or had accurately described to me.

The story evoked strong responses and to that extent succeeded.

I found the protagonist to be understandable. I am not a man that sees life in black and white, but as a many-dimensioned puzzle that seldom has a single, neat solution. Much of the criticism here focuses on men being "weak" or "wimps" if they don't punish (usually with devastating effect) any woman who deviates from the strict morality the critic embraces. It is amazing to me how intolerant many of the male readers are, and how juvenile are their thought processes. I suppose they have no other outlet to work out their outrage toward women, and their desire to strike back at their female oppressors.

Be that as it may, I found our hero to be thoughtful, and even-handed, even in the face of the hurt his wife inflicted on him. His greatest loss, I believe, is the loss of the memory he had created in his mind of his relationship with his wife. Now, it is betrayed, and his confidence and trust are shattered. What will he do?

Leave or don't leave, those are his choices. I'm disregarding the stupid, juvenile destruction fantasies we all might have, at least for a little while. No real man will really carry out the revenge he might be thinking. Just, should he be there going forward or not?

Leaving might salve his victim-hood, but it is cold comfort. He chooses to stay, plus, he gets a second, hot woman in the bargain. Good for him. Plus, if he feels like taking the opportunity to have some fun on the side with any other woman that expresses an interest in him, who can fault him? All the hall passes he wants going forward, and if he wants to hide his activities in the future (to prevent repercussions) he need feel no guilt. If he is found out, tell her or them to get over it.

Now, the engineering. I believe the author is an attorney. If I'm wrong, it simply illustrates that I know little about the law. But I do know something about physics and engineering. What the author has written about how aircraft engines are designed, built and operate is so far off the mark that a detailed criticism is beyond the time I have available.

No one builds a revolutionary new engine design in a university lab with the facilities as described. No one will be driving a land vehicle at 1,000 MPH. The shock wave will almost certainly flip the car. The amount of fuel required to generate the energy to achieve that speed will be too much for a short, fat vehicle to contain. The amount of air the engine will have to ingest will be monstrous. No one will try to test a supersonic aircraft engine in a car. The main capabilities of this engine are supposed to be the ability to take off from the ground and fly to orbit. This will certainly involve liquid oxygen, as well as air. Very different requirements than those of a supersonic car engine.

Also, who can imagine the Navy discussing a secret engine project at a civilian dinner table, with foreign nationals present?

As much as I like this author's writing, he should stick to what he knows, or do some serious, time-consuming research.

All downhill from the start.... Not enough bodies and a hero with no guts

I think the male lead character is mis-written in the last two combined chapters, although his weakness as a man is foretold in chapter two when he retreated to a monkish existence on the fourth floor of his own home. To be corralled into sharing a bed with his faithless wife and Avril the wife of the sly bull who took his place in his marriage bed was over the top. To allow the extended family to invade his home and smile at his cuckold status with their wise French ways about such things of the world was beyond the pale. If he had any consistency of character he should have taken himself off to a motel and left the oh so tolerant French thinkers to enjoy their own company.

I had to laugh a bit when it was seen as odd that Laura, his older sons girlfriend seemed nonplussed at sharing a room in the basement with three men. Why be surprised, mom had trained her son well in the fine art of Cuckoldry and I suspect he was down there watching as Laura had sex with the other men and maybe she didn't even sleep with him. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree after all and the son either was going to reject that lifestyle or embrace it as normal.

I could care less that a wife cheats, but this one was over the top. You don't have to burn the bitch, but why reward her for her behavior. Living with the two women will be a constant reminder of what she made him into. This is not love, I think it is a delusional state of mind. To be kind, no rating at all.