Their First Time

Constructive criticism . . .

. . . for a first time author. Vary the length of your sentences. Especially at the beginning, they were too short and clipped.

Veey nice!

Nice, sweet, used birth control, a hairy pussy, natural lovemaking. More chapters please!

Excellent

This is a touching and sensitive story for either a rookie or veteran writer. I find little to quibble about technically, and I am overwhelmed by the sensitivity of your presentation. The fumbling eagerness of young lovers, drunk on hormones, was described lovingly. I particularly liked his misplaced thrusts before finding the true path. That brought back memories.

Ya done good! Real good!

thought .....

Thought the Story was very good for your first time & I gave you a "5" for that reason.!
Keep those Stories going so that we have something good to read in the future and don't worry about the bad comments as they would not know a good Story unless it was read to them by there Mother.!** lol
Thanks.^

Bursting Bubble

I don't want to, but if this is your very best effort, you need more practice, before you attempt to publish again.

A nice, sweet story...

Not very much depth in it, but nice and sweet. Keep up the good work and try to do a little more character development in the next story. Thumbs up!

very good story and interesting from beginning to end except the final comment of not bad for the first time. Maybe a better comment would be cannot wait till the second time. Gave it a 57a4f

Good

Even if it wasn't your first story I'd say good work. But as it is your first story - awesome.

Yet another nice Story

Spoiled by the crap about birth control

This is story land no babies or VD

A nice story

Spoiled by the crap about birth control

This is story land no babies or VD

1st time

I gather it was his first time, but suspect not hers.