All Comments on 'A Quiet Neighbourhood'

This has some potential, but you went way too public, way too fast. Both women would be in jail in no time and that is neither fun nor erotic. You should keep to the idea of almost getting caught or exposure in ways / places that people don't know you and/or its not easy / convenient to report.

Thank you for your feedback. I'm sorry that the lack of realism in the story stopped you from enjoying it, but this isn't meant to be realistic. It's a fictional fantasy and thus the people in the story can get away with things they wouldn't in the real world. The central premise is a ridiculous coincidence, that I will happily admit, but hopefully most readers can suspend disbelief. From your comment it sounds like you want a different sort of story to what this is.

when they got served at a Burger King. They all have signs on the doors: 'No shirt, no shoes, no service.'

Good story!

Imaginatively conceived and well executed. I'd like to read more about these two. Put them in expensive clothes in a high class night club with no underwear. Tell us about their waxing appointments as they try to seduce the technician. Have them call a male masseur to come to their house. Send them shoe shopping in micro skirts without panties and give the clerk a good show. The possibilities are limited only by your imagination.

Have to say I disagree one of the other comments. Whilst, it didn't seem entirely realistic, it was still a fun read. I actually enjoy the idea of 'getting caught' or an arrest, police showing up always adds a bit of suspense to a story.

People need to look at public nudity laws around the country/ world. I know for a fact you can walk buck-ass naked down most any street in Oregon (look it up I dare ya). and I know that there's similar states countries around the world as well. Get edumacated before you open your mouth.

http://www.oregonlive.com/entertainment/2015/06/public_nudity_in_oregon.html

Thanks again everyone for your feedback.

As I said, realism wasn't a big priority in this story. I appreciate that for some people their enjoyment of an erotic story is increased if the story reads as believable but I personally don't see that as always necessary. Some stories are more 'realistic' than others. This one isn't very.

Could public nudity like in the story land you in jail? Sure. Is it always guaranteed to land you in jail? As the comment below suggests, no.

Anyway, maybe nobody called the cops because they didn't want to spoil the fun? Maybe the cops were called but just showed up after the ladies left the restaurant? It doesn't really matter because I can't write about something happening that the character doesn't know is happening in a first person narrative...

Oh and for the anon who thinks cops showing up can add some suspense - there is a cop scene in another story I'm writing. Sometimes the characters in my stories will run afoul of the law - but sometimes they don't. I'm not against stories where people get in trouble. It's just not fun for me to write the same story every time.

I just saw a few of the other comments and all I have to say to those people is give it a break people this was not meant to be anything but another exciting fantasy written by a very talented writer, I hope we will be blessed with a continuance of this in the future. What happens to Kendra and Melissa. Don't let the losers stop you from expressing your creativity.

I really enjoyed this story. Well done.

Just wanted to say I bought the level of realism. I've walked around my neighborhood in the daytime and there are truly times where no one is really around except for lawn people. And even then, you can time your walks to avoid them if you know your neighborhood well enough.

And the walk inside Burger King wouldn't necessarily end with the police immediately showing up. It would depend on the workers and customers and how offended they are. Sure, 8 times out of 10 an employee would say nope to the entire thing, but there are those few that are amused and just go with the flow.

The only thing that probably WOULD happen is that a bunch of people would have pulled out their camera phones.

My only "complaint" is that I wish the story was a little bit longer. I would have loved to spend more time with her as she walked nude in her neighborhood, or even if the perspective would have shifted so I could have seen Melissa leaving her job naked. But those "issues" aren't really problems with your story, just me being greedy because the writing I got was so good that I wanted more.

5 stars and added to favorite authors. Hopefully we get more with these two.

A great story, in the spirit of Falcon.

I love being naked outdoors so I really enjoyed this well-written story. The girl-girl action at the end was icing on the cake.

Does anyone else beside me wonder if anyone popped their head in to speak with Melissa at her office and (a.) Found no Melissa, with (b.) A pile of clothes neatly folded off to one side? That would really make most people wonder, 'Last I saw of her was before lunch' because anyone going to lunch and not returning would be suspected of foul play these days. If there were underwear on the top of the neatly folded clothes, that would be a real quandary!

Love it!

I've read this story a few times, and always loved it. I always thought it was realistic enough to suspend disbelief.

I've always wondered about a sequel. Particularly, how does the MC get home with no clothes, considering that her parents are probably home? What other adventures will the two of them have in the days ahead?

I agree with LazyReader, a sequel or at the very least continuing this story with more chapters would be really awesome. I hope you might consider it and surprise your loyal readers with additional posts.

Thanks for a marvelous story.

Hooked6

Great story with a good ending. Hopefully more to come.

Very err, "stimulating" erogenous zones err, "rogered".

Great story. I just finished Phobe's Punishment and found the link to your short stories. I'm glad you posted that link.