All Comments on 'Ink'

I liked this. A couple of rhymes felt forced to me, but all in all, a delightful surprise, particularly at the end.

I thought it should have been the Night that opened and you riding mercilessly because the personification of the Muse is female. It still works, the way you structured it because indeed the Muse overtakes us, and perhaps I'm projecting too much sexual imagery in the stanza. Not sure; still worth thinking about IMO.

"and chant spells no sun knows" has got to be the phrase of the week; great line!

"my own Light" is an imaginative twist.

Very impressive, BE. I'm recommending it to others in the Poetry Feedback & Discussion Thread.

I can relate to this, that's when I write too and I really like your personification of the night. Well done. 5ed.

your words echo in my memory of a night in Kenya. I spent a night in a very small enclosure at the Ark, just off of a mineral flat. I watched the comings and goings of herds of buffalo and elephants, with appearances by civets, hyenas, and a black rhino.

I watched these groups share the treasured minerals and how they interacted with each other, without violence. I felt the immensity of the space I was in, and treasured the slow emergence of the light coming over the horizon. I too, had many thoughts creep across my mind during the night. They turned to words in the dawning and a response to those who asked, "how was it?"

Bill Jankel