All Comments on 'Bold Surprise'

My only suggestion would be to make a sequel!

This is puerile male horse shit trying to pass itself off as erotica. Get a life!

if there's even a story here!

Really hard to follow. Might want to consider using an editor for your next story

Way to short.

Left you hanging.

What happened to the husband and the other son that was talked about in the first part of the story.

You got the story started the you up and stopped it.

I only gave a 3 try for a 5 with the rest of the story.(Part 2)

Let me know rjb49@bellsouth.net

An editor.

this started halfway through the story, after all the seduction and foreplay were over and done with.

Where was the setting? It mentions a delayed flight, but also a food court, so it could be either an airport or a shopping mall.

What sort of dumb chick would accept an invitation to their home from two total strangers she only met a few minutes ago? They could be serial killers or human traffickers!

Sorry, this had great scope for development, but as it was the whole thing is totally implausible.

Before submitting a piece in future, read it and ask yourself if YOU would believe it if someone else wrote it.

Definitely need an editor. 2 stars for at least trying.

good start - husband & other son need to enter

It seems to have stopped before it had gotten started.

for the story. Unfortunately, it was terrible. It deserves no more than one star. It has issues too numerous to list. Your effort however, deserves some recognition and earns you three stars. So, after all the dust has settled, you've submitted a story worth…** YOU NEED AN EDITOR!!!

Wtf

Fail.

It should have been Chris not Phil as he is Annes biological son .

Nice 👍