My Sexual Adventure Ch. 01

tall mom

a foot taller than I am....

Like a virgin....for the very first time... : "After what seemed like an hour, Kelly and my mom stopped sucking on my cock and balls" :))))

Unreal

but came twice as hard. It was practically sunset by the time I came inside her pussy, all the while Kelly screamed at the top of her lunges. As soon as I

Pleased

I'm glad you guys enjoyed my first entry! There's more to come soon!

Characters

If you guys want to know who I based my characters, leave a feedback comment and I'll answer what I can! Remember, they are only loosely based on pornstars, so if you find that my comparisons don't completely match up, that's why!

Good story...good lead up. I found a few grammatical errors, which tends to throw me off. "Your mother" is correct where as "you're mother" would say. You are mother. I also found it hard to believe that his mother is 6'10", but you can easily correct that. All in all, not to shabby.

Your girlfriend?

How about Shyla Jenings?

Not sure about your Mom. I assume she is not 6'10" or even 4'10". Need more information.

Oops!

I made a minor error when writing the story. I meant to say that the mother was a few inches taller than the main character, not a foot taller! Sorry for the inconvenience all!

The sequel…...

…..I think that you hold that back until you have actually had sex with a girl.

30,000

Lg investment was 30,000? If been investing since he was 5, doesn't seem like a lit of money- a little to rushed- and please get an editor- mom is 6-10???

Thanks**

For writing.

Nope

Develop your background story better. His dad went to college while his mom was raising an infant and not working? Unless they were independently wealthy, there's no way that would happen.
I can't even get a paragraph into this story and I find problems.

It could be a good story

This could be pretty good if a few things were changed. Normally it's better if the girl isn't a giant and if you were to lose your virginity before writing this kind of thing.

Guys, seriouslty! I'm trying to edit this work!

I tried to make a few edits to my story. like increase the investment amount and try to make the mother A FEW INCHES taller rather than a foot! If you guys know how I can edit it and submit it (since I uploaded a file rather than plain text) that would be GREAT!