All Comments on 'The Kindness of A Stranger'

A simplistic telling of a cliche story with a sex scene told in a most perfunctory matter. Lacking in detail and any real heat.

Using phrases like "He couldn't help but..." is lazy. This is a chance to tell us something about your character, their thinking, desires, etc. I wouldn't comment if I didn't think you could do better - you can.

It's not bad but I did see errors. The first error I saw and you should probably do is to please be sure to or have someone edit your work. As for the second error I also noticed that you need to have some back stories of who the characters are. There just wasn't much about who they are. For third error I spotted is that you need to have are more characteristic traits on what the characters' look like. We only got a few characteristic traits on what Sara looks like and has but after you read them there wasn't much to go on. You forgot to put the characteristics of the main character. Finally you forgot to put description on where this was set, time of the year (like is it in the fall or winter or spring or summer), and other descriptions. There are other errors I spotted but I don't want to be technical and harsh.

I appreciate the constructive criticism. This is obviously my 1st story. I left out some of the details I had originally intended because I didn't want it to get too long... I will take all your comments in to consideration on my next submission.

Good first attempt. I agree with msny of the other comments. It - this shows promise. Keep it up. ;-)