All Comments on 'My Hot Mother Ch. 01'

by wetworks_88

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  • 11 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 20 years ago
Wake Me When It's Over

I wouldn't bother with Part 2, if I were you. Why waste your time AND OURS? I've read more erotic nursery rhymes!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 20 years ago
Good beginning!

Don't pay attention to the nay-sayers!! The subject, topic, and beginnign story is laid out very nicely. DO CONTINUE!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 20 years ago
Merit

It has merit; timing irratic.

For sex 'artists' that have good experiences behind them (those that use their mind, along with their organs).

albee567albee567almost 20 years ago
Good first page

Now that the tone is set develope it and bring it along.

I for one believe in long foreplay to enhance the final event.

By the way get a good proofreader it will help the story.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 20 years ago
Started out well enough. . .

. . .but we were confused by the change in both tense and viewpoint: first, it's the son speaking, then, all of a sudden, it's an unnamed narrator.

This work will benefit from closer editing. Probably worth more than the three we gave it.

PDumbledorePDumbledorealmost 20 years ago
Needs work

For being a first story, you did pretty good, but it still needs some work. I agree with some of the others about the editting. There is quite a few spelling and punctuation mistakes. Get a good editor from the site, and they can help you. Continue writing, and don't let some of the very negative feedback get to you. Everyone gets them.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Just like my mom and I

This is how it really starts. Slow and easy just like it did with my mom and I.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
BAD!!!!!!!!!

BAD!!!!!!!!! READS AS IF IT WAS A STORY ABOUT A DAUGHTER AND HER MOTHER. IT IS NOT PROPERLY REWRITTEN FROMTHE PREVIOUS STORY.

LAROCLAROCover 11 years ago
NOT A BAD START !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HOPE WERE NOT IN FOR A LOT OF TALK , TELLING HOW GOOD THEY LOOK.THIS IS A LONG STORY DON'T SCREW IT UP TO SOON. LETS GET TO THE GOOD PARTS...................................LAROC OF AGES

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
As she stood up from the lounger, she pulled the strings higher up her hips and I could just make out her pussy lips covered by her bikini. My dick got so hard and it got painful within the confines of my jeans.

A great beginning. Pete sees his mother's splayed cunt lips in her bikini and gets hard in his pants. I think I know where this story's going to end up.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Decide from which point of view you want to tell the story. First, you start with first. Then, you suddenly change to third.

Anonymous
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