All Comments on 'Dominant Species Ch. 07-11'

ii am enjoying this story very much. like i said before it has the makings of a great disaster movie or alien take over. i can not wait for the next installment!!!...trs

Good stuff!

Awesome! I don't know how you do it but your stories are brillant.

Considering how much hate and fear there is right now in the world, it's nice to read a story where we see the best of humanity - how everyone helps each other, instead of acting from fear aka there's less for me if you get any, so I'll kill you instead. How long will this goodness last, though, as food supplies start to run low and batteries run out. And when will Marcus get to see Rachel and Raven? Neither knows the other is OK, until wolves contact all the nearby packs.

luv2read2

I love apocalyptic stories! Total Walking Dead fan here!

You certainly have compelling and interesting plot lines laid out. Like your other stories, the number of characters introduced is a bit daunting. But as the story develops, the characters begin to individualize themselves by their role within the story.

The one critique I have is that the dialogue seems a tad wooden and lacks voice. What I mean by voice is that the reader can read the words in the dialogue and hear an individual voice speaking the words. The dialogue flows well as a form of information sharing, but doesn't flow well as a person's real conversation. Sometimes it's the lack of contractions, ("they are", "we will", "she did" instead of "they're", we'll, she'd...) when people are speaking they almost always shorten words unless the emphasis is on the subjective verb. Sometimes it's the use of another character's name. People don't usually include the name of the person they're talking to in their conversation style unless it is a more formal type of conversation, such as a person of power like a leader or a doctor or a teacher. At times the dialogue comes off as too formal of a speech pattern to sound like a real voice.

This is affecting humans and werewolves, but what about the other animals? Does this affect them too?

None of the girls think about their own family or seek out their family in such situation? I mean under such circumstances, I would be truly concerned about my parents and siblings too, and whether they are still alive or dead. These missing part made me somewhat uncomfortable...

First, while I can find faults in stories, I can't write them, so my comments are in no way a criticism of the writer.

1) What happened to Valentine Raven Mendez, born at the end of "Saved by my Human Mate". Based on the timeline she should be about 9 years old at the start of the story, five years older than Raven.

2) The ozone layer only protects from ultraviolet, so destroying it wouldn't expose anyone to harder radiation. Admittedly you don't say what caused the EMP, so it could have been an interstellar radiation burst which could have caused radiation sickness in anyone in an unprotected line-of-sight of the source in the first few minutes. Since this is fiction I'm happy to let this go as "artistic license".

Keep up the great writing.

You are writing so well, that people expect even more of you - hence the critics, I think.

This seems as much scifi as fantasy. In combination with the name of the series the happenings so far give away quite a story ahead.