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Beautiful, genuine story
Ah, first love! First touch of a willing body! You have such gentleness & respect for her; its good to see. A beautiful read, thank you.
Just one tip: avoid repetitiveness. It's a very slow build-up, your pace is good, but be careful of repeating phrases exactly.
Looking forward to the next part!
Great story
Please continue
More!
A beautiful story, a lovely moment. It stands by itself, I suppose, but demands fulfillment. Maybe that's just a guy thing, but that's how I was left feeling after reading it.
Reminds me
This story is so much like the first time I dared to touch a pussy. But when I touched my girlfriend's clit, she would not let me stop. She didn't let me stop for years.
But all good things come to an end.
Thanks guys
I'm glad you enjoyed this story, I really did put my heart into this, and it really isn't fictional, I swear it. Unfortunately I cannot edit this story because that's how the fucking literotica website works for some stupid reason. But I take your critiques with much consideration, and maybe I'll release another, better version of the story without all the redundancy. But thank you all :-D
Also, I'm not currently signed in which is why the comment says anonymous xD
So hot!
Even though there is no sex but just foreplay, it got me going. Lovely story!!!!
Part 2?!
Is the person a boy or a girl? Write Part 2 SOON!
If you wan to answer back, mumclaren@gmail.com
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