I'm My Brother's Slave

fckn nasty

that was one of the most perverse stories i've ever read. i fckn loved it! i don't think you left anything sexually out of it. please keep it going.

IF YOU LIKE TO PUKE THEN THIS IS GOOD!

STORY IS SHIT! DON'T BOTHER READING! NOTHING EROTIC ABOUT IT!

NICE!

that story was great, plz follow up on this story asap =)

Great start - Get an editor!

Loved the ideas, the characterization, and the nastiness. Although it didn't pull me out of the story too much, you had some spelling errors and could really benefit from working with an editor. There are lots of great ones who are happy to help with all aspects of your writing.

Other than that, keep writing!

Liked it

But the incestuous relationship is second to the whole slave thing. This story and any sequels belong more in the fetish category.

Pure Punk Crap

This story is pure punk crap. It's totally devoid of any human feeling or values. The characters might just as well be robots with a loose wire or two. The action is sick and selfish. It looks like a drug addict wrote it.

Nice story

Amazed at how many people have never heard of anyone enjoying themselves while being a sex slave. Just because these two happen to be a brother/sister couple, doesn't make it any less exciting to some people. Cumming four times as a 19 year old would be difficult, but possible, so I had no problem believing that these two really could have done this. I know, it's a story; the point I'm getting at is that the scene was described very well, although we never got to find out if the two objects were cucumbers or carrots or candles or eggplant. ;-) Keep writing. Even those who disliked your story (most of whom are Anonymous and likely have never written a THING for Literotica) should be willing to read some of your other stories.

Devoid of feeling

Spelling and everything wasn't bad, but there's really not very much to the characters and what they're feeling. As someone else already stated, I believe, they're wooden. Some description of what's going through your main character's mind would be good, along with more description of the sensations.

As for the people who are calling the author sick: for the love of God, get a life. It's an erotica website and you're in the bloody incest section; not really the place to come to make judgments about the moral character of others, is it?

Yeesh.

shit

Shit and abuse and crap and hate rape story this no loving story blah blah pew...........

worthless drivel

I was going to leave a critique of your "work" but it's not worth going through that again and it would just make you feel bad.

I'm finding it hard to believe that an 18-22yr old IN COLLEGE can't spell "clothes".

A Good start

This story has the potential to be a very good, and a very erotic read. Your basic framework is excellent, and the plotline is there. Now you need to flesh it out, give some details, input some emotion, expand the characters, give the place itself some personality. You have the potential to be a good writer, you just need some time to work on your style, and your work

Not good

I'm sorry but this was totally unrealistic. You are obviously not a female. There's no way she would be feeling anything after a couple of hours of screwing a dildo, even if she was feeling something it would be extreme pain from lack of lubrication. You need to get an editor and should really think about doing some research on the female body before you write about it.

Not bad

I definitely enjoyed this, though agree it could use some more editing...but not bad. I would love for this to happen to me, brother or not.

More garbage!!

Pure garbage.

Favorite

I think this is my favorite story on here

this is disturbing.

It was ok

The piss thing NO, have you ever actually tasted piss. It is never going to work.

As for the complaner's

Nobady forced you to read it so shut the fuck up cry babie's.

Wow you made some impressions

It seems you made some people happy, and some people mad.

Personally, the piss thing is not something I get into, but overall I liked the story. An editor certainly wouldn't hurt, but I would definitely read more of this story

Gross

Girls deserve this
This is how all girls should be treated

A Girl to Serve Men

I wouldn't mind this at all

Loved it. I want more stories similar to this where the brother is acting dominant.

Forewarning would be nice

I have no problem enjoying a good, raunchy, sexy story of incest and taboo... But you need to put a forewarning in the beginning of the story about the piss drinking and such. There was no warning and very offsetting thus the story became a helluva lot less appealing real quick...