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English
WTF
WTF,!!!!!
Huh?
I agree with the other comment
Confusing
This is way to confusing and makes little sense. Try a rewrite with someone to proof read it.
Dude Learn how to write a story with structure the first half was good then you rushed it and fucked the the whole thing up
Wtf
Bad bad writing. Good premise and then u rushed it to a point of being not good at all.
I made it halfway before I gave up
It's all over the place and no logic behind it. Needs a lot of proofreading. Suggest remove then work on it and resubmit but as is it sucks.
You Can Not Use The Second Language Excuse*
This was just bad. Sorry
Normally...
...I'm a right language Nazi, but the comments below are clearly from Americans, unable to comprehend something written in UK vernacular.
A decent yarn, if a little short.
Probably a 3.75, but I'll give you a 5 to help offset the Americans :)
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