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English
Too short
This might be an interesting situation, and group, depending on where it goes from here, but I disagree with your statement that "...it works perfectly well as a complete tale in its own right". To be interesting, this would need to lead to some conflict. Perhaps if Helen is absolutely outraged by the deception and duplicity of these people, people she should have been able to trust, but who betrayed her and took advantage of her, and over a period of time she exacted revenge of some sort, that could be interesting. If the story just becomes a bunch of people who enjoy having sex together, that would be boring, but you could post it in the "group sex" category.
@the last comment
You do realize you're reading a story on an erotica website, don't you? Do I need to point out that, first, at least 95% of the stories here are 95% creations of the author's mind. And second, YOU'RE READING EROTICA! Why bother reading erotica if you're so uptight and inhibited?
Thanks anonymous.
It's not going anywhere. It's a short story - end of. Use your imagination to fill in the blanks - or write a sequel if you feel it really needs one.
only 95%?
I would have thought 99% would be an under estimate of stories from the imagination.
I enjoyed this short one, which is unusual as I normally prefer build up. It was nicely written which overcame the lack of story.
Thank you all
Thank you all for your comments, good and bad. I would emphasise that this is a short story. It's not like a TV soap, where there's a build up, the actual event, and then everything is sorted out in the next episode - and then forgotten. A short story is a snapshot of an event. Your imagination fills in the beginning, the story provides the issues, you're left to think about the issues, and your imagination has to fill in the end. Don't read a short story if you're looking for a nicely finished-off 'happy ever after'. From some of the comments, this one certainly has raised issues in your minds and made you think about them, so it's obviously done it's job.
Are the characters nice people? That's for you to decide but I'd argue that it's true to life. Such things do happen in real life and in many cases none of those involved come out of it looking good.
Fun flash story
Delightful! Fun read; nothing to get upset about from a moral perspective, in my view. Thanks for sharing it with us.
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