i was expectiong a twist - like he was the previous rapist returning, or the babysitters boyfriend sneaking in, or something. dunno why.
anway seemed over pretty fast. will there ever be a part 2?
by
Anonymous05/30/05
too quick
You must learn to let the story build as much as the passion must build. Love isn't a race, but you brought the story to a close far sooner than you should have.
I'm currently working on chapter 96 of my own book, and there's no end in sight.
by
Anonymous12/19/05
BAD
It was rushed, had no passion, i couldnt even finish reading it. love is not supposed to move that fast. also her confessing her whole life story to a man she bearly knows is very unlikely. Slow it down! Build passion.
by
Anonymous09/06/09
Time it out
The story was O.K. as far as it went,but you could have spent your time involved with the story better by putting more effort into fleshing out the story line and placing more emotion in the contacts between the persons involved.You had the right idea and should be able to improve the next time you do some writing. Good Luck.
English
huh, i kept expecting a twist
i was expectiong a twist - like he was the previous rapist returning, or the babysitters boyfriend sneaking in, or something. dunno why.
anway seemed over pretty fast. will there ever be a part 2?
too quick
You must learn to let the story build as much as the passion must build. Love isn't a race, but you brought the story to a close far sooner than you should have.
I'm currently working on chapter 96 of my own book, and there's no end in sight.
BAD
It was rushed, had no passion, i couldnt even finish reading it. love is not supposed to move that fast. also her confessing her whole life story to a man she bearly knows is very unlikely. Slow it down! Build passion.
Time it out
The story was O.K. as far as it went,but you could have spent your time involved with the story better by putting more effort into fleshing out the story line and placing more emotion in the contacts between the persons involved.You had the right idea and should be able to improve the next time you do some writing. Good Luck.
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