I was unable to edit after I moved on to the next page, so there will be some typos here and there (especially the description, ugh!)
by
Anonymous09/25/16
Uh
No... just no. Please learn to re-read what you write. Or get an editor. Work out your fantasy for your tiny dick first, then write them out.
by
Anonymous09/25/16
Oh dear!
Absolutely essential that you engage with an editor before you submit any more stories.
You currently cannot describe what you mean, your character build up is non-existent and your sex scenes are - to put it mildly - risible.
by
Anonymous09/25/16
airhead roomate
That would be YOU the AUTHOR.
I can see shere she'd have a bra on by the time she's picked clothes for him, but unless she's wearing crotchless panties, how'd his cock get in her pussy?
I kept wondering, English is your second language?
You have problems, serious problems.7562
Like I said, edit button didn't work on any device I used, so any major edits were out of the question, but don't misunderstand me though, this story is awful and old. I am considering a editor but for the time being this will be the last story I upload from before I joined.
Don't hold back, say what you thought and let this "story" burn.
by
Anonymous09/30/16
WOEFUL!
Right up there in the alltime worst Top Ten.
by
Anonymous10/12/16
Damn you guys need to lay off on the author. There maybe small errors but like you all can do any better.
by
Anonymous10/12/16
I don't even know
Its funny because I bet most people who flame stories, couldn't handle getting flamed themselves.
English
Darn glitch!
I was unable to edit after I moved on to the next page, so there will be some typos here and there (especially the description, ugh!)
Uh
No... just no. Please learn to re-read what you write. Or get an editor. Work out your fantasy for your tiny dick first, then write them out.
Oh dear!
Absolutely essential that you engage with an editor before you submit any more stories.
You currently cannot describe what you mean, your character build up is non-existent and your sex scenes are - to put it mildly - risible.
airhead roomate
That would be YOU the AUTHOR.
I can see shere she'd have a bra on by the time she's picked clothes for him, but unless she's wearing crotchless panties, how'd his cock get in her pussy?
I kept wondering, English is your second language?
You have problems, serious problems.7562
Owchy mouchy
Like I said, edit button didn't work on any device I used, so any major edits were out of the question, but don't misunderstand me though, this story is awful and old. I am considering a editor but for the time being this will be the last story I upload from before I joined.
Don't hold back, say what you thought and let this "story" burn.
WOEFUL!
Right up there in the alltime worst Top Ten.
Damn you guys need to lay off on the author. There maybe small errors but like you all can do any better.
I don't even know
Its funny because I bet most people who flame stories, couldn't handle getting flamed themselves.
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