- All
Comments (1) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
You have the starting elements of a good story. Several words either spelled wrong or improperly used is distracting to the reader. Also there were a few instances of "verb tense" being wrong. A bit more background information about "who" the girl / woman is would have set the setting better. Your ending was a bit abrupt for me ... but that's just me. Keep on writing ... You'll get there !! Good luck😄😄😄
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Toe Bows or
More submissions by papadog.