by My Erotic Tail
You have a down-home kind of wisdom/humor going on in this poem.
But... I have to say this one thing. Spank me if you must, but I'm going to say it. The rhythm is off a bit in some spots and it's such an easy fix.
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You have:
"The world's gotten crowded and there's a lot more feet.
Just try hard to be kind and sweet."
You could try:
World's gotten crowded; there's a lot more feet,
so try your hardest to be kind and sweet.
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"If you step on a toe look them square in the eyes,
Then kindly apologize."
How about:
If you step on a toe, look them square in the eyes,
then by all means kindly apologize.
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Remember: just suggestions that may or may not work for you.
nice context, and Eve is right...she loves to be spanked :devil:
I liked this little poem for the most part, but since this is a short image it makes the cliches stand out. Maybe you used them as part of the fun for the write?