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Liked the concept . . .
. . . the execution, not so much. There were some parts that I could see as being two virgins, but other parts showed too much experience.
Really liked the story
The story should have started with how the idea of the party arose, followed by the talk between the girls and how they were convinced to participate, how they chose the boys followed by how the party progressed and how the other girls experiences happened as with Aly. Perhaps a couple of follow-ups - orgy pregnancy etc - plenty of scope for a great series
Story generally well written
Shit. It's just a story.
Too many people want to critique these stories like they were written by Hemingway. It's erotica, so just go with it. That being said I really liked it. Keep it up. No pun intended.
Piques my interest
You've opened the door to more. Tom and Aly weren't the only couple which coupled due to this all-virgin "key party," and you, or others, could write short stories about how the key parties progressed in other rooms.
Awesomesauce
Loved it, especially the unprotected part! Keep it up.
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