Lack of real story, stilted dialogue, poor grammar. What's to like? Sorry, but IMO this just isn't very good.
by
Anonymous09/26/16
No wonder….
that you received a lot of hate mail about stories written under a different name!
You'll probably get them under this name too. An awful, and not even slightly erotic bit of garbage.
Rape; that sort of story line isn't going to earn you praise. The free countries and permissive societies give you the ability to speak your mind. Unfortunately you face societies that pretty much condemn rape. Perhaps a little background on the blooming sociopath would kind of, sort of make this more of a story. Gaining the reasoning of why the nut job focused displaced hate... OK fuck that; find something other than one of the most violent and degrading crimes committed by a human to write about.
RS
by
Anonymous09/26/16
Not good
this story lacks anything worthwhile. the style is not good the subject is not good, overall not good anything sorry Jett this rape fantasy is not good
stop writting son. read. it will be better for you
by
Anonymous09/26/16
stop writing
this is the biggest piece of crap , get yourself a day job !!!
by
Anonymous09/26/16
ever notic that annony hates everything.
I say fuck you anony, gave it a 56 . Annony is just an old fat ugly fag!!
by
Anonymous09/26/16
Horrendous.
Just awful. Among the worst. Stop writing, PLEASE. Take up knitting.
by
Anonymous09/26/16
Ok...so
The quirky timing between days was kind of interesting, but it felt like a gimmick. Like when time jumps became popular after Tarrentino made Pulp Fiction. But more importantly, it was not a story at all, not a whole story at least. Ok so most probably don't come here for "stories" most don't give a shit about building conflict or plot points. I actually do, because I write (not here yet)
This read more like a poem, not a story. But if it were a poem, I would think it should be chronological...but I am not a poet.
As for erotic content...yeah, not much there either.
by
Anonymous09/26/16
Insanity
There's a saying that a definition of insanity is doing the same thing, in the same way, multiple times, and each time expecting a different result. If you've done this type of story in the past under your other name and receive hate mail, then let me help you break the insanity. It's not your name, it's your writing. Changing your name, but doing the same thing, expecting a different result will only lead you further down the path of insanity. 1* to counter the other anonymous asshole that voted this failed abortion a 5.
by
Anonymous09/26/16
Absolutely not erotic
Sorry but the name change doesn't change the bad story. Nothing erotic at all, only disgusting,
Incest is a taboo thing but has nothing to do with rape but only with love.
Raping Your sis will destroy everything. The silly 'I love You nonetheless' crap is ridiculous,
I know women having rape fantasies but none of them would want to be really raped,
Sadly I can't revert my accidential click on 2* instead of 1*.
by
Anonymous09/26/16
Not erotic only insane
This kind of story is so turning me down.
Bad writing and even worse 'story'.
I'd stop writing and get some counseling if I were You.
by
Anonymous09/28/16
Yes
I like it and it's. Uncomfortable at the same time ... Yeah... Like it
by
Anonymous09/28/16
Need help
You are sick and need help. This story is trash. No name change will help you. You need to get training in writing before wasting people's time.
by
Anonymous09/29/16
Lies
Is you say you only believe in consensual sex don't write a story all about non consensual sex. Do not ever in your life right another story about rape. Nobody wants to read it and I am positive that at least 95% of people on this sight do not find this sort of stuff appropriate or erotic. Read some hall of fame stories if you need tips or advice on how to write.
I didn't care for the flip-flopping back and forth with the timeline, found it clumsy. There wasn't really much of a story or even a description of the rape - and that is the point here, I think. One thing I'd like to say is that I can't believe the hate and threats you received as a result. I'm not familiar with your past stories and don't see what difference that makes. Literotica has a category for non-consensual sex so I really don't understand the criticism about a rape story. What do they think non-consensual means? These people would be right at home at a Nazi book burning. I won't threaten you. I will encourage you to write again.
by
Anonymous10/03/16
What?
What is stuff doing here? This is Rape. Pure and Simple. Another reader wrote, correctly, that there is a non-consent/reluctance category and this is where this story should be. I'm not a hater, but I must say as a long time reader on Literotica that the way you've done this is just wrong. First, there is really not much of a story here - except of a boy/man who thinks he loves his sister but with implied question marks. And then gives in to his weakness, disrespects his sister, and forces himself on her. Then you post this story in the incest category rather than the one that it obviously belongs in. It doesn't really matter that this is brother and sister. That is not integral to this story. The story is that a man/boy deludes himself into thinking her loves a woman (who is barely of legal age, did he knowingly wait for her to be over 18?) and fools himself into thinking that his feelings make it ok. I, as a reader,feel betrayed that you have put this in the wrong place. Obviously so that you could gain readers in more than one category and Incest is the most popular category on Literotica.. Underhandedly, by the way. The dialogue is stilted and stiff. Her reactions are predictable and of course the sex is not erotic at all. Rape is not about sex. It is about Anger and Humiliation. Rage, Jealousy and Hate come into it. Selfishness and disregard for the feelings and choices of others are there no matter what the motivation is that is behind it. Even if this were a good story, it is poorly written. And if you don't like the comments, then disable them or try to learn from what readers want to experience. It is sneaky, in a bad way, to changer your name to avoid the opinions of your readers. Your motivations are wrong, the writing is bad, the story is in the wrong place, and your main character talks like a moron.
English
Lack of real story, stilted dialogue, poor grammar. What's to like? Sorry, but IMO this just isn't very good.
No wonder….
that you received a lot of hate mail about stories written under a different name!
You'll probably get them under this name too. An awful, and not even slightly erotic bit of garbage.
Ummm Wow
Rape; that sort of story line isn't going to earn you praise. The free countries and permissive societies give you the ability to speak your mind. Unfortunately you face societies that pretty much condemn rape. Perhaps a little background on the blooming sociopath would kind of, sort of make this more of a story. Gaining the reasoning of why the nut job focused displaced hate... OK fuck that; find something other than one of the most violent and degrading crimes committed by a human to write about.
RS
Not good
this story lacks anything worthwhile. the style is not good the subject is not good, overall not good anything sorry Jett this rape fantasy is not good
Really?
I don't think the name change helped.
da fuck is this?
stop writting son. read. it will be better for you
stop writing
this is the biggest piece of crap , get yourself a day job !!!
ever notic that annony hates everything.
I say fuck you anony, gave it a 56 . Annony is just an old fat ugly fag!!
Horrendous.
Just awful. Among the worst. Stop writing, PLEASE. Take up knitting.
Ok...so
The quirky timing between days was kind of interesting, but it felt like a gimmick. Like when time jumps became popular after Tarrentino made Pulp Fiction. But more importantly, it was not a story at all, not a whole story at least. Ok so most probably don't come here for "stories" most don't give a shit about building conflict or plot points. I actually do, because I write (not here yet)
This read more like a poem, not a story. But if it were a poem, I would think it should be chronological...but I am not a poet.
As for erotic content...yeah, not much there either.
Insanity
There's a saying that a definition of insanity is doing the same thing, in the same way, multiple times, and each time expecting a different result. If you've done this type of story in the past under your other name and receive hate mail, then let me help you break the insanity. It's not your name, it's your writing. Changing your name, but doing the same thing, expecting a different result will only lead you further down the path of insanity. 1* to counter the other anonymous asshole that voted this failed abortion a 5.
Absolutely not erotic
Sorry but the name change doesn't change the bad story. Nothing erotic at all, only disgusting,
Incest is a taboo thing but has nothing to do with rape but only with love.
Raping Your sis will destroy everything. The silly 'I love You nonetheless' crap is ridiculous,
I know women having rape fantasies but none of them would want to be really raped,
Sadly I can't revert my accidential click on 2* instead of 1*.
Not erotic only insane
This kind of story is so turning me down.
Bad writing and even worse 'story'.
I'd stop writing and get some counseling if I were You.
Yes
I like it and it's. Uncomfortable at the same time ... Yeah... Like it
Need help
You are sick and need help. This story is trash. No name change will help you. You need to get training in writing before wasting people's time.
Lies
Is you say you only believe in consensual sex don't write a story all about non consensual sex. Do not ever in your life right another story about rape. Nobody wants to read it and I am positive that at least 95% of people on this sight do not find this sort of stuff appropriate or erotic. Read some hall of fame stories if you need tips or advice on how to write.
That shit!!!!
Stick to playing with your dick, you sure as hell can't write!!!!
What a nasty sick piece of garbage!! Total unredeemed SMUT!
This is pure SMUT!! To the author: you're a sick and depraved poor excuse for a human being!! Go see a shrink and stop writing!!
Got Your Address
I ain't a hacker for nothin'!
I have your email, phone number and address. Submit one more word here and I WILL be around with a baseball bat!
Die A Painful Death
But do it far, far away from here!
Truth
Your story was not for me but egnore the ass holes you can still write just try again..
Not for me but...
I didn't care for the flip-flopping back and forth with the timeline, found it clumsy. There wasn't really much of a story or even a description of the rape - and that is the point here, I think. One thing I'd like to say is that I can't believe the hate and threats you received as a result. I'm not familiar with your past stories and don't see what difference that makes. Literotica has a category for non-consensual sex so I really don't understand the criticism about a rape story. What do they think non-consensual means? These people would be right at home at a Nazi book burning. I won't threaten you. I will encourage you to write again.
What?
What is stuff doing here? This is Rape. Pure and Simple. Another reader wrote, correctly, that there is a non-consent/reluctance category and this is where this story should be. I'm not a hater, but I must say as a long time reader on Literotica that the way you've done this is just wrong. First, there is really not much of a story here - except of a boy/man who thinks he loves his sister but with implied question marks. And then gives in to his weakness, disrespects his sister, and forces himself on her. Then you post this story in the incest category rather than the one that it obviously belongs in. It doesn't really matter that this is brother and sister. That is not integral to this story. The story is that a man/boy deludes himself into thinking her loves a woman (who is barely of legal age, did he knowingly wait for her to be over 18?) and fools himself into thinking that his feelings make it ok. I, as a reader,feel betrayed that you have put this in the wrong place. Obviously so that you could gain readers in more than one category and Incest is the most popular category on Literotica.. Underhandedly, by the way. The dialogue is stilted and stiff. Her reactions are predictable and of course the sex is not erotic at all. Rape is not about sex. It is about Anger and Humiliation. Rage, Jealousy and Hate come into it. Selfishness and disregard for the feelings and choices of others are there no matter what the motivation is that is behind it. Even if this were a good story, it is poorly written. And if you don't like the comments, then disable them or try to learn from what readers want to experience. It is sneaky, in a bad way, to changer your name to avoid the opinions of your readers. Your motivations are wrong, the writing is bad, the story is in the wrong place, and your main character talks like a moron.
What???????
.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ............................
Fucking Sick Asshole That Wrote This Should....
Get raped by 5 big black hung studs in his ass till he bleeds out!
Sick Fucker.
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