All Comments on 'A Strange Kind of Party'

Stories are typically told from a single person's perspective, with the reader in that person's head only. Your story is jarring in that we think we're in Joan's head, only to realize we've somehow jumped to Alice's, or the guy fucking Joan. It's called point of view (POV). If you want to change POV's, enter *** and a line, with spaces above and below to alert the read read they're seeing the story from a different perspective.

Also, you're a little too quick in your descriptions of the girls getting fucked. Since that's the erotic event, drag it out... double or triple its length, describing the girls' sensations in greater detail.

Aside from your albeit rushed delivery, it was really a great story. Love the concept