All Comments on 'Willing Slave, Unwilling Master Ch. 02'

You're constructing a nice little universe here. I am enjoying all of the little details. As I have said before: really good speculative fiction.

Your story continues to show signs of developing into something special. Great work so far and I hope to see more soon!

I look forward to what you have going here. Based off of what you have so far it should be fairly good.

I find myself sympathizing with Dan, but since we are able to get their point of view I understand Emily and Rose too. The hint of intrigue as to why the girls were together longer has my mind wondering. It will be interesting to see where you go with this.

Couldn't believe my eyes when I saw that you finally uploaded chapter 2. Loved it and can't wait for the next chapter!

I wondered if we'd see a continuation to this story after how well the first chapter was recieved and am delighted to see you writing more on this. The concept is wonderful, the writing flows well and the world building is also exceedingly well done. All I can say is keep up the good work :)

5/5 stars

it was less than 2 weeks. That's better than most authors here. Sure there are a few that pump out chapters every couple days, but most are once a month or two.

That said, "SQUEEEE reluctant master is awesome and I like how you've worked an alien angle into it." I'd be interested to see how he reacts, once he's gotten used to her and understands her nature and NEED to have structure in her life, that he meets the Upper Vil that i'm sure "arranged" for him to have this slave. I wonder how long it will take him to get rose to trust him enough to be open and honest about how the Lower NEED that structure in their life, that they have evolved (or been engineered) to be dependant on someone to make the daily life choices for them and that they really don't have the ability (due to that innate anxiety) (and I've known a couple real life subs who have that same need, they don't have the ability to deal with life so they find someone who can for them) to do it on their own. That they would simply "melt down" after a few days.

Thanks for posting the update!

This sounds like a sci-fi version of the cgl or slave/master lifestyle (I say cgl also because he is rather caring and such, hence his reluctance). I love it. Cant wait for more

LifeOnVil you have set yourself what I would see as an amazing challenge: To write a story first-person about somebody (Rose) who has been trained to have a belief system totally unintelligible to anybody in today's Western society; together with another first-person account from somebody who does have values of freedom most readers would agree with; but this person (Dan) has to cope with Rose's expectations.

Then to put all that into an unknowable future adds to the challenge.

There are a few inevitable inconsistencies in the story, but I didn't find them distracting from the way it is developing.

A bit more editorial oversight could polish the presentation a little. A few punctuation bits and pieces got through, and I assume that "I'm not a massive Hippocratic" was supposed to be suggesting that he wasn't a hypocrite?

But all in all, I'm impressed. For me, it was today's most interesting story.

Lue

Nearly every time I read a story about bondage and, specifically, slavery, I find myself unable to...let go, to feel ok about what I'm reading. Why? Because the subject is fully human and I have a few issues with the idea of a human being reduced to an object of pleasure, regardless of the sexual thrills gained by either party participating in the exchange. In no small part, this is also because most of these stories are badly written and even more badly designed scenarios, with unlikely event after unlikely event.

Nearly every time.

That said, good job. I liked your story. I specifically liked the concept of an alien race - a subspecies of that alien race - that is naturally submissive, that requires such submission to be happy with themselves.

It does not truly sidestep the heart of the issue.

It does help me to bypass my own speedbump. It helps me suspend my disbelief and go along with the story. With that speedbump bypassed, I am less inclined to internally criticize the details of what seems to be a touching story. It helps that you successfully portray a likeable master - a teen who finds himself as a critic of slavery that owns a slave, and struggles to reconcile the two.

Rant over; I noticed a few other things. Firstly, that there are large batches of lower Vil trained could be taken to suggest that their natures are shaped. I think that the degree to which they are shaped could be debated.

Second: "Here sir, take this anti-slavery pamphlet. Oh, her? Don't worry about her, I'm not a massive Hippocratic. Really!" You might have meant hypocrite, not Hippocratic - as in the Hippocratic oath doctors take to "do no harm."

Third: 'Leading to my ambitions but ultimately disastrous attempt to free her when I was twelve.' Ambitions might otherwise be 'ambitous.'

Fourth: I mentioned that it helped, me liking Dan. Just as important as any story in which there is a romance with both members of it present is the fact - at least I am presenting it as a fact - that I like Rose, as well. What on earth is the explanation for her going cheap? Quotas? Or is she bad at the basic discipline that most owners would expect? If she is, I don't quite see it.

My fifth point is extrapolated from the first and one other thing: every person - every human in real life I am aware of - possesses traits similar to those in other people. Very similar traits, in some cases. No one method of accommodating those traits is exactly the same. Moreover, not every society promotes the same method of dealing with a particular kind of problem. Different societies often, though not always, embrace a different solution for a given problem. Consider this when given one race: humans. I can imagine it being no different for "Lower Vil." Slavery is one solution. It doesn't have to be the only or even best solution.

Nice job so far. Keep up the good work. Second chapter and no sex, but you can bet your ass I see it coming; and It will be better with the amount your readers are invested in the story - in the characters.

I like most I bet read these stories for the sex and thrill, but I have to admit that the first chapter of this story caught my attention just for the story, very well done can't wait for more chapters to come. Of course because the story is so well fleshed out so far I just wish the chapters were longer lol.

more more MORE please!!

The pain of waiting for the next chapter. Also the chapters are VERY short :/

A fascinating world.

Note: it's "hypocrite" not "hippocratic".

You do know that Dan and Rose must meet the alien from the first chapter, right?

You know the rest of this entire series could have no sex in it and I would still love it... its an amazing concept and its wonderfully rendered I hope you keep it up!

Love the concept, look forward to reading the next installment

Your story is shaping up nicely, and the editing is much better, (but still some glitches) hippocratic for hypocrite seems like an auto-correct problem to me. For gods sake turn it off. Otherwise, well done, looking forward to more.

Please write faster, this will become one of my favorite stories on this site

Your story is shaping up nicely. I'm looking forward to reading more in the series.

A great start... Please do notlet the story die or rush it out. It has great potential to be an excellent read.

Thank you

Your story is very promising i hope that you keep on writing.

If you think of it, the main character and his friends, while probably having mostly good intentions in their anti-slave efforts, are partly ignorant of the negative consequences of freeing slaves. In this fictional universe, his slave has a very good reason to fear the outside world. If any person stays indoors too long, he/she will also become hesitant to leave, to go outside -- and she was kept in near-isolation for an entire year (if I read it correctly). So her fear of being free is entirely understandable, however, Dan is right when he says that every creature has on some level a desire to be free. So Rose's fear of the outside and desire to have a collar are both entirely understandable given her circumstances, however, they are also both unnatural and are the result of how she was brought up or trained (or conditioned). There's a lot of room for character growth in both Dan and Rose, and also for Dan's sister and the other members of his anti-slave group. For one, the girl in his group is of course angry at him for now having a slave, however, what other option does she think there is? Does she think it's better to not have a slave to ease her own conscious? But then does she not realize that said slave would then inevitably face much more difficult situations as a result? I really think that while this anti-slave group is focusing on the ethics of owning a slave and why it's wrong in the first place, they don't realize that the place they need to start is the ones that are already slaves (or are about to be). Perhaps they're thinking more of how they can help change the future so there are no slaves, but with the world as it is, that just seems pretty much impossible, so would it not be better to do what they can for the slaves at the moment? Well . . . I'm not sure exactly where the story will go from here but it's getting really interesting and it's making me think a lot. I hope it continues to get better and better.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions huh? I think you’re right in a lot of aspects here. The group, as you might expect from students with no real world experience, is idealistic. And like you say they can’t fully comprehend the damage sudden freedom would do to those they wish to help.

I think you’re also right to point out Claire’s as a prime example of this black and white thinking, she knows deep down that Rose is better off with Dan. But being so ideologically driven, the prospect of her best friend being a Master is a bitter pill to take.

Rose isn’t afraid so much of going outside - It’s the difference I suppose between being locked in a room and locking yourself in a room because it makes you feel safe. Her fear comes from the prospect of suddenly having all the responsibilities and decisions of a freed human thrust upon her.

I’m glad my story got you thinking, hopefully I can continue in the coming chapters. Speaking of which chapter 3 is pending as I write this, It should be appearing in the next day or so.

Cheers,

LifeonVil

normally i'd say but at the beginning of this statement....but you won't hear it from me today,good work,keep it up

Thanks for writing.

I still can't get past Dan's(and now his entire anti-slave group's) ignorance when it comes to slaves. He tried to free Emily when he was younger with disastrous results. So why would he even bother asking Rose if she would like to be free? How could he not already know how she would respond? How could he not know that refusing to collar her would be taken as a sign of his disappointment in her?

Also, for someone who is so offended by slavery Dan sure was quick to show off Rose's markings like she was a newly acquired piece of artwork. Maybe if he had just asked Rose if he could show his sister it wouldn't have felt so off.

The story is unfolding and becoming extremely interesting in the interpersonal relationships developing. Reading on.

Short 2 page chapters so far. Keeping my attention as I see how it's going to develop.

Wieso geht der zur Schule? Zeit- und Geldverschwendung!

Unexpected cat is certainly a tag of all time