OK , after this week of near starvation in this category ( other than MFH, and Todd172) , I'm sure that I'm not the only one almost ready to simply find a new hobby !
That's why I was even willing to give a story like this a try.
Tags were not seemingly hitting any of my personal Squicks , so I read this flash tale.
It was not bad , just a snapshot of someone's pretty normal inner dialog .
I've always liked " Flash stories" when done right. I've always thought that Britease and Pappatoad were the masters of the genre ( go to SOL for Pappatoad' s , as a lot of them are too short to qualify for Lit's minimum word standard ).
This was pretty well done I thought .
3.6 = 4 *' s in Literotica bucks
by
Anonymous09/24/16
Good story!
I like it. Very imaginative. Seductive as hell! Good start, Miss Molly.
This is a beautiful story, Molly. It's very evocative and original, told with clarity and impact - way beyond porn, which is probably why you're getting mixed reviews (smile).
An interesting exercise. No disgusting fetish stuff, just a nice little fantasy. Church seems a bit of an odd place to have it, but hey, maybe the sermon was boring. Four stars, and I'll read another from you.
This is a well-written glimpse into this lonely woman's life. As an introduction it sets the stage well, but if this is where the story ends then I'm afraid it falls short. As a debut story, this demonstrates great promise for things to come.
One observation: you shifted from first to third person perspective toward the end of the story. At first, I thought you were deliberately inserting the narrator into this scene in her imagination by "mistakingly" writing "I" instead of "Susan." But by the end of the story, you were referring to the narrator as Amy. Keep an eye on that perspective for your next story. (As, hopefully, this won't be your last.)
by
Anonymous09/25/16
Original concept adequately executed.
Some drama or suspense would be nice, but I enjoyed the venture. I will be surprised if you do not embellish this interesting and curious character with the vivid erotic imagination. Its OK as is, but has the potential to be the beginning of very much more.
I agree with Foolscap regarding that which occurs between the ears, Imagination is a wonderful thing at all times. Maybe even more so as those times roll on.
I also can see what Joe is referring to in the change from first to third person narration. I'm not sure it was actually a complete switch, but it felt like it was.
Anyhow, I liked it. It's rare these days for me to find a LW story I consider worth reading and this one certainly was. A sweet little story.
English
Not a story...just a woman with a flying imagination...
Not a story...just a woman with a flying imagination...And imagination can chose stange places to fly...3*
Different perspective
OK , after this week of near starvation in this category ( other than MFH, and Todd172) , I'm sure that I'm not the only one almost ready to simply find a new hobby !
That's why I was even willing to give a story like this a try.
Tags were not seemingly hitting any of my personal Squicks , so I read this flash tale.
It was not bad , just a snapshot of someone's pretty normal inner dialog .
I've always liked " Flash stories" when done right. I've always thought that Britease and Pappatoad were the masters of the genre ( go to SOL for Pappatoad' s , as a lot of them are too short to qualify for Lit's minimum word standard ).
This was pretty well done I thought .
3.6 = 4 *' s in Literotica bucks
Good story!
I like it. Very imaginative. Seductive as hell! Good start, Miss Molly.
This Was Different
Different is good.Thanks
. . . loved it
This is a beautiful story, Molly. It's very evocative and original, told with clarity and impact - way beyond porn, which is probably why you're getting mixed reviews (smile).
i am convinced that 80% of good sex takes place between the ears and the imagination is vital
Thank you for stimulating my imagination.
A tale nicely told. thank you
Agree with Foolscap
An interesting exercise. No disgusting fetish stuff, just a nice little fantasy. Church seems a bit of an odd place to have it, but hey, maybe the sermon was boring. Four stars, and I'll read another from you.
Welcome
This is a well-written glimpse into this lonely woman's life. As an introduction it sets the stage well, but if this is where the story ends then I'm afraid it falls short. As a debut story, this demonstrates great promise for things to come.
One observation: you shifted from first to third person perspective toward the end of the story. At first, I thought you were deliberately inserting the narrator into this scene in her imagination by "mistakingly" writing "I" instead of "Susan." But by the end of the story, you were referring to the narrator as Amy. Keep an eye on that perspective for your next story. (As, hopefully, this won't be your last.)
Original concept adequately executed.
Some drama or suspense would be nice, but I enjoyed the venture. I will be surprised if you do not embellish this interesting and curious character with the vivid erotic imagination. Its OK as is, but has the potential to be the beginning of very much more.
Good luck with all your future writing.
A nice concept and a nice little story
I agree with Foolscap regarding that which occurs between the ears, Imagination is a wonderful thing at all times. Maybe even more so as those times roll on.
I also can see what Joe is referring to in the change from first to third person narration. I'm not sure it was actually a complete switch, but it felt like it was.
Anyhow, I liked it. It's rare these days for me to find a LW story I consider worth reading and this one certainly was. A sweet little story.
Lue
While we're talking about what goes on between the ears....
Perhaps the author can explain what was going on between her ears and why she/he posted this in LW when it clearly isn't an LW story. 1*
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