All Comments on 'Sara and the Principal'

Hopefully this is just chapter 1 & there is more to cum.

It was a bit rushed and you need to proofread a little better, but great start. Hope there is more

Please don't make the sex degrading. Daddies should love their daughters, not use them to express degradation.

If that's there is, it isn't much. If this is just the start, then a chapter number to warn this wasn't a complete story was required.

hope you continue to write, yes was short, but hope there will be more to cum, pun intended, lol

Yes I'm throbbing no after reading that short story...need more!!!!! Have to go play now hehe

Daddy has to fuck her brains out. He also HAS to knock her up! Fill her wanton belly with his child! Its what she wants!

I would have liked more character development, it was all really rushed together. Even more descriptions could have helped, either for the situations or scenes, or for the train of thought of the characters.

I personally like short stories like this, if I wanted to read several pages, I would get a novel. This was so hot, got me dripping wet. More please and keep them short, the stories that is - hehe !

Rethink your perspective and try again in the first person from "Sara's" point of view. It might be easier to give more detail of your feelings for daddy, your attempts to make him desire you and then to find him whacking off after seeing you.

This isn’t bad for a new writer. I hope you’ll take my comments as constructive criticism, which is how I mean them.

The 1st person works well with erotica but you must choose the right POV. Sara would probably have been a better choice for this story, if you insist on 1st person. She is the one best able to express the erotic feelings here. She was the real star—Dad was just supporting cast.

Could I suggest this story rewritten in 3rd person? That way you could show Dad’s feelings and Sara’s also.

Nor do I see real incest here, just the possibility of it in further stories and a hint of it to come when they get home. Why not follow them home, show the action and make a real erotic incest story with your 1st person Dad POV?

Let me urge you to continue writing. I think you will turn out some highly rated work shortly. Good Luck!

Keep up the Great Work

When's the next adventures of Sara,,,,,,,,,,,,

2* for the descriptions, but incest w/daughter: NO

I am not a writer or editor. I enjoyed it and would like to read about more of their adventures. I don't know if you intend to write more, but please do so. 1st person, 2nd person, 3rd person, or the whole lot, it was fun to read. DWH