All Comments on 'The Diary'

Too much rambling for me...

Coming back after a long time and surprised us with another new story.......although I would have liked the introduction a lot shorter, nevertheless a good intro and I am sure you have a valid reason to make it lengthy like this.

Waiting for the story to become alive with.......you know exactly what I am talking about!

Sheesh this was an amazing read. Once I picked it up I couldn't put it down. I love your use of flashbacks, I think this is the first story I encountered those in written form. I get this feeling there are a few surprises left for us in Mr. Anderson's, sorry I just had to type Mr Andrrson to hear Agent Smith say it in my head, story and I look forward to part two. Thank you!

On top of which, you couldn't be bothered to use a chapter number in the title to warn this wasn't complete! I hate, hate, hate, HATE shit like this.

Do love your stories but wish this one was labeled as "Part 1". If it was your intent to leave me hanging and frustrated consider yourself successful.

Now that I know will take my time vice racing and savor.

This is the first story I have read of yours and I could not put it down I have never read 18 pages in one sitting . The character and plot building were excellence it kept me riveted . Look forward to more of this saga hope it's soon .

First, my apologies for not properly labeling this "part 1". I'll submit an edit with that correction but I doubt that will help those of you who find yourselves frustrated. I actually had to resubmit this story and it was initially submitted with that distinction, but in my haste I forgot on the second go around.

Second, thanks for taking the time to read. I don't usually submit chapters this long, but I'm not used to writing a story that in essence includes two stories in one. It was hard to find a decent breaking point. I hope you enjoyed it. Either way, leave your thoughts, good or bad, so I can work to make it better. I appreciate all comments.

Nicequip

Dear Nicequip, i fell spellbound and lost my words after reading your story. what a great narration and slow build up, Try to see every character's perception, this is an extraordinary effort from you. thanks for providing us such story, though i personally not fond of BDSM type stories, but its your writing style and the words which keep me reading the whole story. waiting for the next part eagerly.

Unlike some others, I was glad to see this was only Part 1. Knowing there were "only" 18 pages, as I got closer to the end, I couldn't imagine how you could tie together all the loose ends satisfactorily in the remaining pages.

That being said, I am amazed at your story development and use of words. The funny bits of dialogue always came as a surprise and caused me to laugh out loud. Although I am not a huge fan of BDSM other than in play, the world you have created is great at focusing on the internal intellectual and emotional development without letting the BDSM be the focal point. You correctly didn't tag this in that category.

Great job. Thanks for sharing your talent. I look forward to future chapters.

The way you construct a story is blissful the character build the sex is really unimportant its the way you write a story it grabs you and makes you lose sleep because you read all night unable to stop thank you so much for yet another brilliant story in not sure if I'm looking forward to part two of this or part three of tears but. one thing is for sure I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!

Can't wait to see where this goes, There are a lot of sticks in this fire to stir.

The little trouble maker needs to find her place in the would and learn not to poke sleeping dogs.

The Mom needs to go on a leash as well!

Keep up the Great Work!

Glenn

Unusual to get a real story not a short bang bang thank you maam tale

well crafted.........plot.....character development.......it's all there. Most importantly I now care about the characters and need more of their stories.

Well done!

Excellent story!

Your use of different points of view that complement the flow of the story is highly engaging and creative. You've managed to not only titillate, but also entertain with an interesting mix of genres without relying on overplayed gimmicks. Choosing to reveal the main characters' back stories through a "story within a story" has doubled the fun!

I certainly hope you'll continue this story, as I'm sure does everyone else who has read it so far.

Why end on page 18? Where and when is the rest coming? lol

I am intrigued to see how it all pans out ;-)

Literotica: a combination of the two words, literature and erotica. Now erotica itself would be defined as an actual story with sexual content, as opposed to pornography which be defined as just crude sexual content. But let's look at that first word of the combo that so many here seem to forget about, literature. A tale with characters, a plot, contrast, a struggle, and grammar. When combined with erotica, it gives one a story that can keep you riveted to the events, while simultaneously arousing you. Despite the term 'literotica', there are many stories here that don't fit the definition; probably even the majority. Fair enough. To each their own. But why do the trolls come out from under the bridge when a true lit-erotica story comes out? Can those of us who know who how to read not have stories also? This was a tremendous story. It would have been nice to know there were more parts, but the author stated it did have a 'chapter one' attached in his original submission. Otherwise, man what a story! Those clamoring for a short story, there are tens of thousands of selections here to choose from. There are many of us here who are not prone to 'premature' outbursts. As someone who used to be involved in the rodeo business, I can tell most of these critics would not even be 8 second performers. So please, find one of the many other stories here for your quck toss needs, and who knows, maybe your parents won't find out what you are doing in the basement bedroom you have.

I love incest stories and even though this story starts out slow, this will be epic. This legt ne gasping for more. I cant wait to see how this story plays out. Even if it ends badly.

Although I hate the cliffhanger, excellent erotica and also very good writing. Very weel crafted story. Can't wait for the rest.

I'm torn with respect to this story. I don't normally like stories involving BDSM, regardless of who the author is. Usually, if I accidentally start reading a story with BDSM undertones, I stop and move on to the next one. I find it is a turn-off for me. I'm sure it has at least a little to do with my lack of understanding of the lifestyle, but mostly it's because I'm a sucker for the classic definition of love and romance.

I started reading this story not really knowing what it was about. By the time I discovered the BDSM aspects, I was too involved in the story and characters to stop reading. You have a crazy talent as a writer. As another commenter mentioned, this isn't just one story about a couple characters. There are at least three stories being told simultaneously. The obvious ones are the story about John's relationship with his daughter, and the other about his relationship with his wife. The less obvious one is about a man coming to terms with who he is.

There was never a point in the story where I felt there was too much going on, or the different story lines were confusing. You have done an outstanding job weaving these tales into a masterpiece.

I have no idea where you plan on taking this story or how long John and Callie's journey will last. I don't like it when readers try to tell an author what they should or shouldn't do in follow-up chapters, and so I avoid doing so myself. I would however like to share with you one concern and one complaint I have. This is in no way an attempt to persuade you in your writing. If you would like to ignore me, then just skip to the last paragraph.

I worry about what may happen with Kelly. If she follows through with exposing John and Callie, it will potentially destroy them. As much as fans of BDSM might like to argue it, the lifestyle is not as openly accepted as they wish it was. That may be part of your plan. Have them lose everything else, so that all they have is each other. No more excuses, no more reasons for not living the life they were destined for.

My one complaint is that it seems you are trying to involve too many characters sexually. I realize that John has a history (before his wife) of multiple sexual partners, but it seems a little far fetched for every woman in this small town to still want to have sex with John after discovering his hidden sexual desires. Yes, I understand the attraction women might have to the man he appears to be.

Ok, if you skipped the previous two paragraphs, know that my comments were not meant to take away from the amazing story you are telling. You have gotten me to read a story that I normally would avoid, simply by being a superb story teller. Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to start reading stories in that genre, but I am a little more open to the idea than I was before. I am looking forward to the next chapter. In the mean time, I might just check out some of your other work.

Mike

Your comments were very much appreciated. I'm not a writer by trade. It's a hobby, so the flattery is always surprising. As far as your dislike of BDSM and D/s, I always write a warning in my author's note. I write across genres for Lit and I find I get people in the BDSM category that hate incest and people in the incest category that hate BDSM. Whichever category I choose I try and save the reader the hassle of being offended with a small warning on what to expect. You should expect part 2 to have more BDSM though. It will be unavoidable with Becca's addition. I try and keep it light enough to understand and hard enough to satisfy actual practioners. I don't know if I'm successful but that's the idea. It's a healthy, fun kink if done right.

As far as your suggestions, I did read them. I like reading everyone's thoughts, worries, hopes and whatnot for future installments. I like letting people discuss and argue and disagree. Sometimes I take suggestions to heart. Sometimes I continue writing the story that's in my head. It depends really. I will note that Kelly exposing the diary would be hurtful to John and paint Callie's parents in a particular light. But it wouldn't really expose a relationship between her and her father. The diary is still only John and Sarah's story. She has a minimal and benign role in it. Although if the diary should get out who knows what could happen. It's a snowball on top of the mountain waiting for someone to nudge it over the edge...

First, you never disappoint me as a writer. I absolutely loved The Novelist, but this story is even better! How is that possible? I love that about you... with every new story, I'm even more impressed with your writing.

Which brings me to my second point... I need more! Part 2. Part 3... hell, all the way to Part 20 please. I had to laugh reading some of the other comments... how angry other readers were... and I get it because I am too! I selfishly want more. And then I'll want more, etc. It's a blessing and a curse to have such invested fans. I don't envy you that, but will say that I believe it is because we enjoy your stories so much.

That being said, point three. Please get busy writing more!!

Thanks again for keeping me up late at night, only to wake with the light still on, glasses still on my face, and smiling like I actually had a great night with a lover. You have an amazing gift. Thank you for sharing it... and please... I beg you... please... WRITE MORE!!!

My only complaint is the same one I had with the Novelist, too many partners. I'm a *huge* fan of harem anime and I'm poly IRL, so it's not that I'm saying I wish he were in a monogamous relationship, but it's hard to follow the relationships of so many. Having him wanted by everyone is fine. But I'd rather he picked out five or six than to begin screwing the entire town. I'm looking forward to him releasing his beast but want to focus on Sara and Callie. (Like in the Novelist I wanted more attention on his Mother and wife). Also after a certain point, it just gets impossible to suspend disbelief. Three women happy to share him - okay fine. Five women? Okay, I'll accept that if you build his character well enough (having him trained since 19 is a good start though being out of practice for the last eight years I think he needs to warm up). Ten? Then we're stretching it. Is he on Viagra? Any more than that and my eyes gloss over until you get back to one of the relationships I care about. You're doing a great job so feel free to ignore any of my other suggestions, but these are the things I'd add if it were my story. 1) Anal, it always seems to be a deeper level of ownership when a sub offers her ass. 2) Girl on girl - having Callie or one of the younger girls service Becca or one of, the older ladies as part of their submission not because they want to but because they were commanded to (then find out how much they like it) will be hot. 3) Having the mother and daughter do each other will make it a real incest story. (I don't count stepdaughters as incest) 4) Verbal confirmation that they have given ownership of all of their holes to him. I'm not sure why this matters so much to me but when it's done right it always makes the story hotter. (Sara came close saying he owned her mouth.) 5) Having him give away one of his pussies to another cock (you handled this **so** well in the Novelist I don't have any doubt you could make this exceptional, yet I don't want it to be Callie as I sort of want her to be exclusively *his* slut. (blowjobs and being with other women don't interfere with this romantic fantasy at all for me. ) Part of the magic of the Novelist for me was that they all had little jobs it made it more believable that he was this larger than life character when you realize how big his support system was. So far John doesn't have any of that, and he needs it. Okay, those are my suggestions for what it's worth. Hoping you find time to release a part 2 soon because I'm looking forward to it. (Could always use another Novelist story with his mom or mom and aunt too). Thank you so much for caring enough about the incest and BDSM lifestyles to write such amazing stories.

I love the story. I hope to see the next chapter soon. Your John character was sooo cool. Keeping the beast tamed and all. Great work.

Amazing story. Any word on when the next chapter is coming out?The story is so addicting that I have been checking your profile every 8 hours for the past few days for an update. Keep up the good work

Nothing more need be said.

Ooh, when is the next chapter coming out? I personally prefer Callie + John. Amazing writing. Great story plot.

Wow, just WOW! Hope you finish this soon. Wow!

Loved the story and I hope you continue it.

An update would be good

This is absolutely unacceptable! You can not leave us hanging like this!

I loved the story but that was a shitty way to leave us hanging especially for this long. Not to mention it was pretty long and that's the ending you give us. I gave you 4 stars, I would have happily given 5 stars if there was a better ending. I'm definitely disappointed!

I first read you Novelist epic, and then your other two short stories. They're all good, and this tale is pretty bloody good, your best!! Like many others, I will be waiting to see how you run with it. Please don't keep us waiting too long. :)

One outstanding read.

Thanks

More. I think I can speak for everyone. We want the rest of the story.

Just dangling on that rearview mirror - well done

What a gem , outstanding . Please Nicequip do whatever it takes and finish this story. I was devastated it stopped so abruptly.

The weaving in and out of many stories, the characterization, the effect of a "haunting" achieved by a completely believable plot device--this is by far the best I've read on Literotica.

After many years of being a fan of this site, this is the first time I've been moved to comment on a story--I thought you had to create a profile in order to do it--so I did, just so I could leave this comment. Your story is THAT good.

By all that's naughty, please finish this!

Far better than I expect for most stories here. Complex well laid out plot with characters that seen very believable. Would like to see this continue.

With all due respect for the author's efforts, to get to this point cost the reader a not insignificant investment of time as well. It would be nice to know if this story wil be continued, as we have grown to care about these characters.

holy cow. This thing is superb but needs to be continued from that dangling precipice you left us on.

please take another look at working on it.

M.aybe we can persuade you to finish this!

Beautiful, engaging story and so well written! I'd love a part 2!

And please stop Kelly. At this point we are so invested in the characters that not finishing is like denial!

And I finished it in one sitting. Awesome.

I'm with a recent commenter though. There will be a special place in hell for you if this isn't finished.

Good story but it will leave you hanging....

This is really quite excellent work.

Thank you for writing and sharing it.

I hope the next installment comes quite soon.

More please

Next to the Novelist this is your finest work yet. The suspense is so ripe in this story. Please, you have got to come up with part two.

when will you finish

So enjoyed this story I chose to purchase it on smashwords. Would be happy to pay more for this inventive, engaging work.

Love your stuff. This story is fantastic. Lots of promise. Do you have any idea how this will progress?

Fantastic story! It’s rare that I get “attached” to characters in a story, but it drew me in. Your love for writing erotica is evident, can’t wait to read part 2

I just found this story...

It isn't often that I get so involved in a story on this site. Normally stories here are like litter, you read and discard them so easily. This is one of the best stories, of any genre I have read in long, long time.

Thank you!

Brilliantly done.

I would eagerly devour another 100 pages of this.

I'm gonna go looking for more!!

Will there not be the continuation? This first installment is seriously good.

I never comment on stories on this site but you have an incredible talent. I've read all your stories. I even bought the stories on smashwords. would love to read more of your work

Look forward to next chapter

can't believe there's no part 2 .... this is worse than any physical punishment it's just cruel :)

What an awesome 18 page story. What graphic description of every scene and every action. You have such great talent. Please finish this story and if it is where might I find the rest of the manuscript for the story.

Author said he quit cuz too many ppl plagiarized his work and try to sell it... it's a shame cuz I really wanted part 2

This is by far the best story i have ever read. Please write the next chapter, i know how Heather felt when she’d finished the first diary

Wow what a storie I hope it will be possible to complete one day. Thank you

I don’t know if you are living this life now but you should do part two pf The Diary. Too good to leave us hanging on

So many submissions on literotica are are, at best, middle school level writing. This submission is very well done. While the subject does not lend to the comic possibilities that you showcased in the coopers it almost equals the novelist.

In both this work and the novelist you grew characters. The erotica enhanced instead of overwhelmed the story. I don't leave comments nor rate stories. But like when you leave a yelp rating because the meal and service where exceptional.... so very well done. I will be purchasing your work in support of your dream. Thank you

If you're not going to finish it, don't bother in the first place. Please.

Exceptionally disappointed that this was never finished

Wow, this ended on such a cliffhanger!

This was posted 9/28/2016, so unfortunately it looks like the Author has no plans to to continue the story. Which is a shame.

I hate it when stories are not finished. Shouldn’t post part one without completing part two.

Looks like the author painted himself into a corner and bolted for lands unknown...

Only one thing to say, CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT PART!!!

Enjoy your work, I hope enough people respond making you want to finish this story.

Next chapter please - I want to know what happens

Good story cant wait till next chapter . Best story and work .

Excellent writing, and a fascinating glimpse into the Bdsm world & its logical/emotional framework and elements. Enough sex and erotica to keep it interesting without overwhelming the story (provided, however, we suspend realistic expectations of human behavior in real life for the sake of the storyline) A continuation would have a nice but I decided not to mark down a story’s rating because of the apparent lack of a satisfactory ending. I decided to treat it as just one of those “off on the open road leave it up to imagination” type endings.

AAAH! Please take us further. And please stop Kelly. She could spoil everything.

Intense is the only word I can use to describe this story. I became too convoluted for being a stand-alone story… too many loose ends. This story deserved a continuation.

This needs a second chapter!

Awesome. I am so waiting for part 2

Du schreibst so eindrucksvoll und schön, das könnte ein Roman werden. Echt toll, ich werde auf eine Fortsetzung warten.

Sehr sehr cool und erotisch geschrieben mit vielen Verzweigungen in der Geschichte ...

Bitte weiter schreiben