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The Secret Life of Secretaries

byTodd172©
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Comments (48)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous09/25/16

Good Story

Even though this story is in the wrong category, I like it because the CIA, NSA, Navy Seals, or other super human entities weren't involved. With this offer that is not to be always assumed.

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by Anonymous09/25/16

Short and sweet

Don't listen to anybody saying it's in the wrong category, the harassed wife Bethany fits it into LW, besides this way I don't have to go looking for it. 5 stars all the way!
JB

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by kimi199009/25/16

I'm telling

You' have a twisted mind, big brother. It was a very entertaining story, but twisted. That's okay, sometimes we have to let it out. I just got back from the stationary store. They did sell those pencils. I couldn't find my pencil sharpener so I had to use my knife. It's really sharp. I have the van keys and I found a construction site. Now, there are a couple of people who write comments. I've located them via the "Deep Web." I may need help pushing the chairs. I heard one of them is a big fat person. It puts the lotion on it's skin. If you don't help me, I'll tell Mom what you did to the sardine guy.

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by Anonymous09/25/16

huh?

WTF WAS THAT

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by blackrandl195809/25/16

The honeymoon is over

Nice story. You continue to startle and entertain. At this point, you've managed to piss a couple of people off. Don't worry about it, it was inevitable. You have a solid fan base, now, and I'm one of them.

Just keep writing these inventive stories and I'll keep loaning Sbrooks to you. You haven't yet reached sycophant level, but you keep at it and someone will nominate you. DFWBeast is in charge of nominations (love you, Killian), so you should suck up to him. It took me a year to win him over. Nice job, and, you are amazingly prolific. Keep hitting those home runs.

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by looking4it09/25/16

Now that was funny.

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by Anonymous09/25/16

I love it and at

least one of the smart and obviously competent women was a wife so the catagory is right on! Don't you just love it when a plan comes together.

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by Anonymous09/25/16

Why is this here?

A weird fantasy

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by Dragonlightone09/25/16

*chuckles

Nice change up; I've been bored witless for days on end on this site. You just cannot beat writing innovation and creativity to lessen my grammar police, geek mentality. Keep going please.

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by johntcooksey09/25/16

The people in your head

Wow, I hope you don't ever write all the characters out of your head. In fact, I hope they do a little procreating in there. Great stuff. Great stuff.

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by Anonymous09/25/16

hahahaha

Sisters are doin' it for themselves!

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by swingerjoe09/25/16

Wow

Nothing like a little double homicide to start your Sunday morning! This is a fun bit of dark humor, but...why the hell is it in Loving Wives?? It's almost as if the admins have been asleep at the wheel for the past 15 years or so. LW has become the default dumping ground for any type of story.

Setting that aside, your writing continues to impress me. If I were to write for another thousand years I could never come up with something like this:

"The laughter lowers to a chuckle that creeps around the bottom edges of my desk, rising like a murky, unclean tide. I pull my feet up and put them on the legs of the chair. I'm wearing a nice pair of shoes and I don't want his cooties on them."

Just...wow.

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by Anonymous09/25/16

I gave it five stars.

It was a very nice change of pace. Panther fan.

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by Selq09/25/16

Very funny.

I know this one had to score you major points with the secretaries. Lol

Excellent story, very funny.

Thank you for writing. 5 stars.

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by Harddaysknight09/25/16

My observations.

Let me say that Todd172 is very talented and posts some very good tales.

The body count in Loving Wives is pretty high today. We have two sexist pig men die in this story, where there is no interaction whatsoever between a husband and wife, but where one woman is said to at least be married. In another story we had a lover pushed over a cliff to his death and, sadly, an innocent goat is also killed.

I thought I stretched reality in a story with a man getting his wife's lover angry enough to kill his wife's other lover, or a story where a miserable dog bit the lover's schlong off. That makes me pretty guilty of incorporating violence. Still, I do notice an increasing trend in Loving Wives of having the protagonist kill people (and animals) that upset him/her.

Someone complained enough to get my story "It Won't be Long" moved to "Erotic Couplings", if you can imagine that. I actually had a cheating wife in the story, but no sex. I have no desire to see this one moved, or any other story moved. I simply wish that there was some sort of continuity here. I am also concerned that we are going farther and farther with revenge. I include myself in this trend. Rape and murder are commonplace, justified by the writers, and often praised by readers. "If a guy taps my wife, I have the right, and duty, to kill him as brutally and painfully as I can manage."

This story was amusing, but there were two people murdered by two women that are made likable in the story. The one guy had bad hygiene, so he had to go. The other guy liked big tits (the sick bastard) and was a true pig, so there was no option. We've had stories of prison rape, plain old fashioned rape, drug rape, and mental rape. We have had lovers murdered and even run over by a steamroller in one, if memory serves me. Lovers are often framed for crimes they did not commit, but all's fair in Loving Wives. If only there were stringent laws against sexual harassment (and bad hygiene) in the workplace, these ladies might be able to avoid murdering men they work with. Am I the only one that feels like LW is evolving, and not always for the better?

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by sbrooks103x09/25/16

Weird But Great!

Caught me completely off-guard as I was editing - well done!

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by Sidney4309/25/16

Five stars for sure and there is no doubt the secretary's love reading it. I do have to wonder about an office where janitorial does not empty the waste baskets each day.

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by christmas_ape09/25/16

this gives me something to worry about monday morning. thank you.

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by Anonymous09/25/16

Farce

While I have no great concern about categories, I understand HDKs point there (certainly more interest by published author than a reader such as myself). I also agree that LW is a fairly dark forum. I disagree with the criticism of this particular story as this is pretty clearly a farce. The villains are cartoon characters redolent with anchovies, flatulence and misogyny. The heroine(s) are little better and the tone is so lighthearted that I actually missed the protruding pencil and had to reread that paragraph. I laughed aloud at that. Finally, HDK should be spending his time writing chapter 3 of LiR; I miss those folks. 😉

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by betrayedbylove09/25/16

Damn

Life is so confusing these days.

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by TheKrrak09/25/16

Dark humour

Love this for the implied dark humour inherent in the tale, but I do have difficulty with it being in LW, with only the "threat" of forcing someone to break their vows.

for the humour alone 5/5

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by Lickideesplit09/25/16

Damn Good Weird Story

Then, after a damn good weird story, a lot of damn good weird comments!

Especially liked Kimi (rub lotion...), BR58 and HDK.

5* (sorry the 5* comments are exhausted, so I don't have a contribution left!)

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by Impo_6409/26/16

Another dark story in the last days...

Another dark story in the last days...This one is more black humor...Very well written, funny and surprising...3*

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by Todd17209/26/16

Thanks for the Feedback!

It does help. My gleefully homicidal secretaries are hardly to be taken too seriously; they’re the literary equivalent of a gift bag of M&Ms for a very professional secretary who was being asked to do the impossible, and get it done before noon while putting up with various and sundry indignities. And yeah, amongst the secretaries where this was set loose initially, it’s really, really popular. Which should probably serve as a warning to us all. Having authored it may help me a little when the revolution comes. ;-)

Kimmi: Get a large wheel garden wagon, Lil’ Sister – those little office chair wheels catch in gravel, then you spend half your time putting them back up in the chair. Gets tedious, even with help.

BR58: If I’ve managed to piss someone off, it’d hardly be the first time I did it without knowing why. But at least this time nobody is actually shooting at me, and that’s a nice change of pace. I’m just having fun here and experimenting with different things, so it’s all good.

HDK et al: I pretty much have to own up to my part in increasing the darkness and violence in LW lately. Wouldn’t exactly be very believable if I denied it, given that my signature characters are the crew at the Shack, who are all pretty violent, and Nikki from The Harpy who, while very much loved, is kind of, well, bite-y. There is a lot of emotion attached to parts of the LW genre, so I don’t feel too bad about contributing a bit. That said, I do see your point. And if there continues to be an element of darkness in my stories, understand that it isn’t because I ignored you; my stories go where they go and I can’t seem to force them to change beyond a pretty limited scope. I can tinker with some details – chiefly phrasing - but that’s kind of the limit. Again: yes it sounds a little crazy, but it is what it is. Every story I’ve ever tried to force to do something simply froze up or died until I stopped doing that.

As to categories: This one could go in NE, I suppose, but Bethany is a very devoted wife and maybe her determination not to buckle to financial threats will serve as a warning to many other fictional bosses who may be tempted to try this kind of thing with their secretaries/subordinates; so posting it here is a public service that could save many fictional lives. So many have died or suffered horribly already.

All kidding aside, if I have any reasonable excuse to post in LW, I will; I like the energized environment and the feedback from the emotionally engaged readers here. So, if a story, like this one, could fit in multiple categories, it will go here. I’ve posted in a couple other categories and rated well, but didn’t get near the amount of feedback. I'll take a hit in the rating numbers for even the slightest chance of useful feedback. Seriously.

Again, Thanks for the feedback.

Todd172

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by Anonymous09/26/16

Cute

But not erotic.

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by luedon09/26/16

"Emotionally engaged readers"

What a beautiful description, Todd. You say:
"All kidding aside, if I have any reasonable excuse to post in LW, I will; I like the energized environment and the feedback from the emotionally engaged readers here."

I note that some other authors are currently posting stories elsewhere in an attempt to avoid that energised environment and the commenters' emotional engagement. To each his or her own, I suppose.

Lue

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by Anonymous09/26/16

Now there's a woman I could love. Two of them in fact.

(sigh); In a perfect world.

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by gmann5709/26/16

great story

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by twinki09/26/16

Loving Wives?

Homicidal secretaries getting rid of two assholes. Doesn't really fit in "loving wives" but I enjoyed the story and this is the only section I read regularly. A slight change of scene from the usual "supermen" getting revenge from being cuckolded.
A 5* for you

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by Tw0Cr0ws09/26/16

so disappointed

A heinous crime against humanity and good taste was committed:

'Muzak version of Black Sabbath'

Pay no attention to that object floating down toward you on a parachute, it's just a special delivery package.

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by Tw0Cr0ws09/26/16

@luedon 09/26/16

re:
"Emotionally engaged readers"
What a beautiful description, Todd. You say:
"All kidding aside, if I have any reasonable excuse to post in LW, I will; I like the energized environment and the feedback from the emotionally engaged readers here."

I note that some other authors are currently posting stories elsewhere in an attempt to avoid that energised environment and the commenters' emotional engagement. To each his or her own, I suppose.
----------------------------------------- -----------

LW is not for the weak or timid or thin-skinned writer.

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by luedon09/26/16

As you say, Tw0Cr0ws

"LW is not for the weak or timid or thin-skinned writer." Very true.

It does seem to be, however, a place that attracts the intellectually challenged commentator. The one who drops "Cuck Shit" on multiple stories and his ilk are no fun. There's no conversation to be had with loons like that.

But then there's the Moral Brigade that go through all the LW stories each day in order to comment that they hated the stories they read. Their logic is matched only by those who say they hated the stories even though they didn't read them. This form of logic is not found in the commentaries to other story categories.

So the debates to be had with the Moral Brigade in the Loving Wives commentaries are among the most entertaining things on the Literotica site. Definitely not to be missed. But also not for the "weak or timid or thin-skinned".

Lue

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by Anonymous09/26/16

I loved it

I loved it. That was short, sweet, and awesome. A lot of fun!

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by Crkcppr09/26/16

I love smoked oysters

I get hating the smell of sardines , but smoked oysters (or mussels) with cream cheese on Triscuits are the bomb !
OK , it was different , but then again I don't think we've ever had a author like Todd172 in this category before , and I think he's a breathe of fresh air.
Maybe its not classic LW , but its still great stuff.
Keep on keeping on Todd !
5 *'s

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by kimi199009/26/16

@crkcppr

Well, as long as that breathe of fresh air doesn't carry the odor of sardines, I'm down. Something fishy about that. Don't like anchovies, either. A good smoked salmon and cream cheese on a bagel, now. Makes a girl breathe out a sigh of contentment.:-)

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by Anonymous09/27/16

In a nonsense comedy all is possible...

In a nonsense comedy all is possible...Very funny, excellent reading...

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by rnebular09/28/16

Hilarious

I laughed the whole time i read this. From her descriptions of the smelly guy next to her, to the comments about the newbie... had me in tears! Nice work!

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by Anonymous09/29/16

It's fine

But it doesn't belong in this section. They may or may not be married but it has nothing to do with their marriages.

And frankly, it wasn't that funny.

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by Anonymous10/03/16

loved it

Don't care what anyone else says where this belongs or whether the details don't logically add up. What i did care is it had me full of empathy, reminding myself why i am not ever interested in being any company's aa again and had me laughing my socks off.
Whadda ya mean...she couldn't be a navy seal? It doesn't take a navy seal skillset to strangle someone. Maybe she poisoned him first or hypnotized him into doing it to himself. Don't believe the latter is even possible.
However, I do recall a literary technique termed: suspending disbelief. Am i using that correctly?
Thank you. I needed that. I will sleep soundly tonight and have a better Monday at wor.

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by sbrooks103x10/04/16

@Anonymous Re: "Suspension of Disbelief"

"Suspension of Disbelief" isn't a "literary technique" per se. Suspension of Disbelief is when a story, or book, or movie or TV show require to believe in things that you normally wouldn't believe in in order to enjoy them. Do you believe that a nine-year-old boy can see and talk to the dead? Probably not! But you watch "The Sixth Sense" and temporarily suspend that belief and enjoy the movie.

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by Todd17210/04/16

Clarification

For what it's worth I make no claim to knowledge of literary devices, I am, however, somewhat knowledgeable about mayhem. No suspension of disbelief is required in this one. Bethany can easily murder her boss with a silk stocking: properly speaking, she garroted him rather than strangled him. In strangulation, the airways are cut off and the victim can struggle for easily one and a half to two minutes. Garroting with a wire or silk stocking cuts the blood supply to the brain which results in unconciousness in about 9 seconds. Not much time to struggle there. As to the pencil, many murders in the late 19th century and early 20th were done using a hat pin through the ear canal. Simply bring it up with one hand and slap the blunt end, driving it in. Many of these murders were conducted by underage female prostitutes. So, yeah, both methods are tried and true. The more you know :-)

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by Dont_miss_me12/06/16

Karma...

Thy name is secretary...

Freakin love it!!!

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by tazz31701/09/17

RULE #1 FROM THE CRIB

be careful of who you piss off or on. TK U MLJ LV NV

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by kjohns200104/17/17

Moderation

As long as they exercise moderation and don't start killing everyone that gets on their nerves even the tiniest bit they should get away with it. Although they do say murder will out. Seriously though for something like this to happen everything has to go off without a hitch or the slightest bit of suspicion being directed at them. Plus having the perfect place to dump bodies isn't something one can count on always being available.

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by Anonymous04/26/17

thanks for this.....

Totally didn't see the ending of this one coming. It put a smile on my face so kuddos.

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by Anonymous09/11/17

Hilarious!

Sometimes the jerks you have to work with don't die quickly enough, they need a little help. This ingenuous story has me laughing out loud.
Thanks!

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by Anonymous01/22/18

Hilarious

I had tears running down my face from laughing so much . I am male and old . But over the many years of my working life . Many a time I worked with arseholes who were a waste of the oxygen that they inhaled . Fantastic story . Well written !

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by Anonymous03/04/18

Um

I'm a bit worried Kjohns2001. Does he know what fiction is? That being said, I may need a place to offload the bodies of a few lawyers. Any thoughts?

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