Fancy That

Interesting.

I suppose the wife could let that slip if she were drunk. Your writing is improving and this tale showed some thought. Thanks for posting it.

SICK and wrong Catogery

BAD, BAD.

So...

...is this chapter one?

The end.........?

......Priceless. I'm not a fan of these types of stories, however the very end had me laughing so hard I shot coffee through my nose.

Oops

An okay story. The author telegraphed the fact that it wasn't the wife way in advance, but adding a twist in the final sentence was amusing I suppose.

On the whole, a pretty good flash tale!

One thing, though....
....
The first scene set up with seeing her laid out, freshly fucked, and cum dripping from her holes? I get the use of the graphic image. No problem.

BUT,

Then like two sentences later, while extolling her virtues in description, you say she "oozes class from every pore".

Unfortunately, the taint of the first image ruins the second. Perhaps better word choice, or simply say she was a very well respected and classy lady.

Anyway, I liked the ending. And no need for any follow-up chapter(s). This story works well as it is, dragging out the inevitable divorce plot won't add anything to the economy of this well constructed flash.

I say, "Mission accomplished"
and I thank you for the effort!

Congratulations......

This was a really good story. And no, it doesn't need another chapter if you don't want to write one. It can stand on its own.

LOL

I liked this story. A lot. Just when I groaned because I knew what was coming next, you threw the twist in there. A sigh of relief. And then...oops. LOL. Very nicely done. Very clever.

Great

All of Castlemania's stories are great (but I'd like to see an alternate ending to What The, where the lawyers go to jail, the husband lives and either divorces his wife or keeps her and gets her straightened out medically, because the drugs she received in Chapter One obviously created permanent damage to her).

A good story with two twists...

A good story with two twists...Just some issues in it: 1st - when he was beaten by several man, didn't he have a phone to call the cops? 2nd - If the guys had fucked her like that the day before, and in many other nights, why the urgent need to do it again, risking it all with him present? 3rd - Any emplyee would never risked his job and career having a orgy in one of the rooms of their boss' home...Or was the boss also in there, risking a heavy law suit? These 3 issues weaken the story, making it almost unbelivable...I also think this story doesn't need another chapter: he had decided to divorce her when he thought it was her in the room, now that he knew she had done it many times before, that decision was still valid...3*

More twists than a Twizzler!

I saw the first twist coming -- at least, I hoped that would be the direction you were heading -- but the second one caught me completely by surprise. Well executed!

At first I was groaning at all the stereotypes and beaten dead horses, but by the end I was laughing out loud. It's such a clever twist on the BTB template I wish I had thought of it!

Still laughing!

Funniest thing I have read since Vandemonium's jokes. Unlike some of the others, I didn't see the first twist coming. I think you played on the expectations of the crowd. You used the bias against cuckold stories to hide it, and it worked. I worked for me. I almost stopped reading. So glad I didn't.

And then, you lulled us into a false sense of security. You went on about how happy the husband was, and why he felt stupid for thinking that his classy wife could do something like that. And then...

Oops.


I will look for more from you in the future. I'm still laughing

i would like another chapter

there are so many ways this could play out!

Nice

Reading the comments first made me curious so I took a shot. Hilarious tale about a stupid wife who just opened her mouth too much. Laughing too hard to get pissed. Great tale.

HA

Too funny....

Copy cat girlfriend

Now that the shits out of the bag. You better see that divorce lawyer and hide your assets.

Thanks

Thank you to those who saw the funny side of things. There will not be a second part of this. I think our "hero" already told us the future. Besides, isn't it so much better to imagine it for ourselves?

As for Anonymous "It might have been a funny joke if it had been written by someone other than this utter piece of shit."

Your comment may have had more validity if you were not a pathetic, moronic, stupid and worthless smidgen of slime encrusted excrement.

I know that you and others like you think that I should not respond to personal insults in any way at all. I do not agree with this. I think if you level a personal insult at me, I am perfectly entitled to do the same at your expense. I would rather rise above such idiocy but then you would not understand that.

Once again, I do not understand why this has become a forum for people like that to personally insult others. It should not be.

Also...

"6 months later we were divorced. We sold everything and split the money."

No way. Bitch ain't getting a penny!

Impo_64

1st - when he was beaten by several man, didn't he have a phone to call the cops?

He was being held by at least two of them, pinning his arms. He could have called the cops later but why would he? He had just broken someone;s nose, after all. In fact, he did more damage than they did.

2nd - If the guys had fucked her like that the day before, and in many other nights, why the urgent need to do it again, risking it all with him present?

The simple answer is ...drink! I am not sure its an urgent need and remember, it wasn't actually HER. I hinted that Mark thought it was her. We have no idea if the others did or if they knew it was Julie.

3rd - Any employee would never risked his job and career having a orgy in one of the rooms of their boss' home...Or was the boss also in there, risking a heavy law suit?

The boss may have been there. I don't know. But a heavy lawsuit for what? The girl was willing. No actual illegal act had taken place. Consensual sex is not illegal. It may be immoral but is low morality enough for a lawsuit? A divorce suit, certainly.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I think you raised some very valid points and I appreciate the constructive criticism. This is me answering your points and asking for a mild suspension of disbelief. Its a case of "COULD IT" rather than "WOULD IT".

Thanks again for your comments. Its always good to be made to think.

OH-OO AND O SHIT

the smoke and fire with the mirrors. TK U MLJ LV NV

Wimp

Stupid cuck needs to spend less time pampering his wife and get a trainer at the gym and then get himself a new wife - not the slut he currently lives with.

Liked the divorce anon but that makes it a consequences story. Let's make it a real burn the bitch story.
She kept trying to talk to me but I refused. Marriage counseling went out the door when I had my lawyer tell the court that she admitted to doing gang bangs of ten or more at a time.
Me, I knew for sure. The guys as much admitted it when they beat me up. And they all thought it was my wife too. But everyone needed more punishment. So when the divorce was final I waited and beat the crap out of one of them and went after a second. I knew what would happen and it did.
There were times I wish I hadn't done it.
I rented a small house on the edge of town and settled in. A few weeks after the last asskicking there was a loud bang and the room got very crowded. "No one divorces me asshole. You will live to regret it, for as long as you do get to live.
"You remember my gang bang buddies. They got carried away that night or we would still be together. But you should have just walked away. Now the last thing you get to see is the pussy you will never have."
For the next five hours they fucked my ex-wife and beat the life out of me.
They said they were going to beat me to death and they damn near succeeded. Even the ex was giving blow jobs to the best hits.
A few more must have come in to help. It was damn tiring beating a man tired to a chair. In the end, they let me out of the chair and began kicking me.
When they left I could not move.
Burn the place to the ground one of them said. The ex spit on me and told me to die. They all took a last kick.
The last thing I remembered was the smell of smoke.
"Glad you are back with us." The man said.
I got a few ice chips from a pretty young woman and then the place was full of doctors and nurses.
I had been out for five months. I was found dying and pulled out of the burning house. Everyone was already in jail.
You see I planted a time bomb. If I didn't call in to a number and put in a code the In house security video was automatically sent to the police, da, FBI, and everyone who knew the ex and I.
I had a young lady helping me through the recovery. Everyone already went down for multiple counts of attempted murder, kidnapping, false imprisonment, battery, aggravate assault and a bunch more. The video did them in. Each one got over 100 years.
I went to see the ex so I could laugh, but it hurt too much. The lady with me looked at the ex and kissing me on the cheek said "I don't want to be like you anymore." Yes, it was Julie who had followed the group and then pulled me out of the house.
The money I got from the lawsuits against my attackers and their employers, a few were managers set me up for life.
Julie and I have 4 children now and are good and happy. We live on a small island that I own. You see I still have some enemies out there, but not as many as before.

Damn well done!

A twist within a twist. Don't let the naysayers bother you. And thanks by the way.

Loved the story until the last line.

The standard next line is "We can get past this, I still love only you." 'It was just sex with them." "I know we can still stay married, It won't hurt us at all.' I just neede a little more than you can give me and the gangbangs make our loving special, etc, etc, etc. All the way through the divorce proceedings.
while I love and applaud the plot, I just don't have room for deceit in a relationship, especially marriage.
Too bad she couldn't take a hint. She neds to remember in her next relationship,
If you can't handle the divorce don't cheat. thats all there is to it.

I like the humor, certainly the 2nd twist

That was a very, very neat twist worth all 5*

I didn't see that end on the way, though Castlemania very kindly gave their readers flags and signposts along the way.

he should pretend he's mad but can forgive her

then, after she's satisfied that all's well, he should have her served with the papers that will give her a new life with all the sexual opportunity she desires, and will allow him to be rid of a lying, no good, skanky assed cunt.

Great Ending

Very good read with a surprise ending.

Part 2

Make a part 2. Burn the bitch.

Waaaa haaa haaa!

Nice! Loved it! Double twist at the end, touché!

Hypocrites All

Every long term member on this site knows that line by heart. It's so SOP and trite-why even bother writing it. And then one of the faceless denizens of this site shifted his corpulent bulk on his poor, overburdened computer chair in his dank and dark basement lair and, doing a very poor impression of FTDS, wrote the next chapter for us all to peruse.

The story has faults, could be better, the characters could be better fleshed out and the premise could be made more plausible. Still, all in all the story has merit. people must have liked it despite the bad reviews, because they read it from start to finish.

You saved it!

The wife's inadvertent confession on the way home saved an otherwise dull story.

Dapi

Hi
Which line do you refer to?

I like your work, man.

So

So we still get a divorce Don't we

That was just plain stupid

This guy has to be the most clueless loser on earth. She works in sales not a job that requires much dirty work unless duh she is being a shank slut. Pathetic. Even the funny ending can't save this. The only way to save it is if he killed himself.

Slut!

Burn the Bitch! With extreme prejudice!

Castlemania

As one of the faceless masses said, the standard lines are one of the following;

"We can get past this, I still love only you."
'It was just sex with them."
"I know we can still stay married, It won't hurt us at all."
"I just need a little more than you can give me and the gangbangs make our loving special."

Super Cool Story...

...I'm still laughing at the ending. I think you managed to catch every one off side and with the cynical bunch of readers on the Loving Wife category that is no small feat. Well done!

Adding to the story could only detract from your super cool ending. You would be well advised to start a new story with your newly converted fans of which I am proud to declare myself one.

Thanks for sharing 5*

1*

unfinished cuck shit.

I understand your goal, but stupid clueless husbands are just obnoxious and boring.

I wish you could have made it more clever, or believable. Spouses who are so out of touch with each other, but as the same time obsequious to their partners every whim, make me cringe. They don't have a marriage, she has a pet poodle. Yes, even a poodle will run away from home if you kick it hard and often enough. It might even bite you. But, who cares about the sex life or the marriage problems of a poodle?

Thanks for the effort. Looks like many enjoyed it, so congratulations.

LOL

Good twist! 3*

DAMN!

Need to kill the wife!

brilliant ending

just when you thought it was over BOOM


Maybe Mark does deserve the nose job?

Five Stars!!

Great story! Hot and with great plot twists!! Please write many, many more!!!

good work

some nice writing touches

Good Twisty Work

It showed that the protagonist was on the scent before the proof. Lots of fun!

Very clever and I would have thrown her out of the moving car

2 stars...

because you didn't finish it. He should have thrown the bitch out. Fairly good start, but I would have liked it better if you had taken the story more seriously. Flash stories are never good.

@Castlemania

From Mark's reaction we can assume that they didn't realize it was Julie.

The comments

LW readers take these stories SOOOOOOO seriously! Good god. I can't even imagine what it must be like to live that way. Truly pitiful.