All Comments on 'Lit Wives: A Guide to Relationships'

Unpublaauthor, I read this and was left wondering what you were trying to do with it and who you were aiming it at as your readership. Your starting point seems to be that a person you call a 'Lit Wife' is a woman married to a man who is somewhat distracted by Literotica stories from his conjugal relationship with her.

What you then give is a series of statements about various marital problems and a few suggestions about overcoming them. I had difficulty connecting those statements and suggestions specifically to the people you call Lit Wives. They could be just as applicable to any woman in a relationship with a man.

I also suspect that if there was a woman who fitted your description and discovered that her husband was giving her less attention than she expected because of Literotica, she would be more inclined to say "him not me" as her diagnosis of the problem.

Thus my uncertainty.

Lue

Ladies, give your husband pussy at least once a week. All the rest is just the author playing with words, some real and some not.

No electronic devices during date night? How about a remote/wireless vibrator?

No sex, no shopping, birthdays, cash, marriage, affection, attention, listening ...

Hello! Thank you for your lovely comments all! Luedon, I'm so sorry for the confusion. I hope this clarifies. A Lit Wife is someone who, by not regularly showing her husband affection or allowing sexual intimacy, pushes her husband away. Often, her husband then turns to other outlets. I have no doubt that the Lit Wife would blame her husband for what she terms "cheating." However, I wrote this with the hope that they might 1) recognize they are, 2) recognize their partial (at least) culpability, and 3) work to improve the situation.

I hope this helps.

daylilygardner, you raise an interesting point. Toys would most definitely be allowed during (and are a great asset to) date night. ;)

To the first anonymous poster, thank you for condensing my argument. It really does clarify. I do apologize, however, for taking liberties and having fun with the English language.

To the second anonymous poster, yes, indeed, tit for tat.

You brought up many valid points and you frame your arguments well!

Women should stop looking at porn as some terrible threat and start looking at it as a means to enhance their own fantasy lives and their sexual relationships.

Right on. I have to get this to my wife. Couldnt be better put. I wonder if your a Psych professional or marriage councillor. Thanks!

Life and our own issues get in the way of life with our marriages. I'm guilty of this as anyone. It's not a on one street. It does take two to break it and tow to fix it. Thanks for your effort.

Sorry about the typos. It's been two strong ones and I don't give a rats ass about spelling. never had, probably never will.

Liked this essay. Despite what the feminists and left proclaim, men and women are very different. Once you have children women seem to morph into a mother role and sex with their husband takes a back seat to raising the family.. Of course most men will take whatever they can get and whatever their spouse will give.

A wise man once told me that men give love to get sex vs. women who give sex to get love. I think he was very right. Communication is the real challenge and getting partners to understand the value of intimacy and sex.

In a week where there has been so little worth discussing (Lit-wise), this essay provides some thought-provoking material. I have a few comments in no particular order:

1) Ladies, your husband isn't watching porn (or reading Lit) because he's tired of you or unsatisfied with his sex life. He's doing so because he's a guy, and that's what guys do.

2) We don't watch porn because we like the way the actresses look. We watch porn because we like what those actresses are doing -- and how they're doing it. We like watching women who truly enjoy sex, who have fun doing it, who can't get enough of it, and are as dirty as we are. This is why we enjoyed having sex with you so much when we first met, and you acted this way. These porn actresses remind us of those younger years. (The same holds true of the slutty, sex-crazed women in many Lit stories.)

3) The worst advice in this article is to schedule sex. Our dissatisfaction with our sex lives has nothing to do with the frequency of sex, but the quality. If you're having sex every other day with your husband, but that sex is limited to you lying on your back stifling a yawn while he's on top of you, you're not helping your cause. Scheduling sex only compounds the problem, as it makes your husband think he's just another item on your "to-do" list of chores.

4) The best piece of advice in this article is the weekly "date night." A couple needs to allocate some time each week to reconnect with each other, away from children, cell phones, and any other distractions.

Just my opinions. Your mileage may vary.

Thanks for contributing this!

Well, I just put a dent in the tissue box. *sniff*... in my case, the roles are reversed. It's been a very difficult situation for me. I was very touched by your words. I only wish more would read them and take them to heart.

XX MastersWench

Beautifully expressed and a very good argument put in the best way possible! Everyone needs to take away the lesson here. And to be honest, women who think that their husbands watching porn falls into the activities associated with cheating, well then those woman who read spicy novels should also fall under the same category, shouldn't they? Its really a change in perspective and personality needed with people. The sooner people accept this... especially with this essay driving the point home!... no relationship can then fail...

...but as a wide and mom too, I could use suggestions or posts on what you do for stay at home dates. So far ours have gone disasterously.

Well said! I frankly did not know what to expect before reading this (to say nothing of the other entries in the "Best of...2016" categories, but this is so needed that seeing it automatically makes it a winner in my book.

You take time to express yourself by stating your views and supporting them. You provide compelling examples that convince and you supply strong personal experiences that make us stop and think. Much of your advice parallels what relationship authors suggest be done.

You certainly helped build your credibility with the study you gave and especially by the powerful personal examples too. However, while I rated this a 5, using quotes or material from respected and well-known authors like Smalley, Grey, DeAngelis or even McGraw would have sent your credibility through the roof. I still strongly suggest you check those out but how you explained and what you showcased won the day. :)

Serious thoughts about a serious issue.

I don't have to agree with every single point to note my strong appreciation of your sharing carefully thought out arguments.

Thanks. Five stars.

I love every word of this! Well reasoned. Even researched, too! It's amazing how many people self-sabotage, isn't it?

I whole heartily agree, the biggest problem I see is that the lit wife will never see this. I talk and play with lots of men, but their wives are just clueless.

I myself have chronic pain, and the endorphins actually take my pain away. I also have a lit husband, as you would say, I have begged for sex for over 20 years now, and whenever I get sex a blow job will come first or I won't be getting any. I didn't start masterbating until I was injured and in this chronic pain in 2015, before I actually started chatting with men, I wrote my husband an email telling him of my special needs, and he told me I was weird and that he wanted no part of it. I never thought I would cheat, when I started playing, even making a rule for myself to not talk to men in my same state. It's 2020 and I had planned to take a trip with someone, but covid stopped that, so for now I have still only touched 1 man on my life.

Thank you. Very clear and very encouraging.

More, more! More essays on Lit-Wives!

I know exactly what the purpose of this article is but if I showed it to my wife she’d be beyond pissed that I was even on a site like this. Over five years now without any and she doesn’t seem to think that there’s anything wrong with that. I do hope that the lit wives that really read this take it to heart!