Tristan's Tale Pt. 06

Awesome

AWESOME WORK AS USUAL!

I'm excited

It's 4am, I started reading a few minutes after this was posted at one.

IncomingPornDuck, this is fantastic. The world, and the characters, and the story are all like uncut fantasy diamonds right now. I'm so looking forward to seeing where this goes and how it's refined as you grow as a writer.

Thank you for creating this.

I love this story

Every time I see your stories on here I'm always overjoyed to read them. Truly a masterpiece. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Thank you.

This needs to be an actual novel.

A question.

Why jade's chi color doesn't have blue green influence like Tristan's?

I am just... in awe.

This is the best story on lit. Period. Please, please finish book 1 already (in your own time, of course, no rush) so you can take my money.

"Damn."

On a website largely out of date, filled with amateur attempts at mimicry, your series is a beacon in the night.

I have the highest appreciation for your art,


Open Passage

Worth the wait

I've kept scanning Lit hoping you'd post again and here it is... well done! Hope you're well into working on Chapter 7.

Love it!

Lost all shit at, "Surfing USA"

Engrossed Reader

Your story has captured my mind, I don't read for the sex at this point, I am hoping for another Wheel of Times series! If you ever decided to publish these stories I would gladly wait 10+ years for this epic tale to unfold. I have re-read your writings every time you post another one and I find new revelations every time and by god you deliver in your new content!


All praises to you for thinking this plot and story up. I hope you continue until the story ends and we can fully appreciate Tristan's Tale!

I eagerly await every chapter of your story. It is one of the best things I have ever read, and I sincerely hope you find a way to publish it for the public at large once it is finished. I will be anticipating the next chapter as much as I anticipate the next installment from Butcher, Sanderson, or Rothfuss.

6 Stars

Im desperately missing the 6. Star .....

Just don't stop writing - this story is amazing!

Please dont make me wait

After reading these, I go into withdrawal. I need more. Please don't make us wait again.

Anticipating

Couldnt put down my phone for 3 straight days reading this story. Please finish it. I crave for more....

You are a truly gifted writer.hat's off to u. amazing writing and story. looking forward with great anticipation to the next chapter

Excellent!

I waited five months for the sixth chapter and it was worth it! Please try not to take so long this time :) Amazing story! Thanks so much!

5 stars

Amazing. I've no other words to describe it, just plain fucking amazing.

AMAZING!

I love this story! I await the next chapter!

Crazy

Just plain crazy

Great

A very good tale, keeps me looking for the next.......

Fantastic

Once again you've outdone yourself. Great and immersive writing.

twists

I see alot of potential plot twists and future developments written into this story even before rinzia showed up. I really wonder how many of them will lead to some new developments. Definitely love how open ended you keep everything despite how well you forshadow certain things. Thanks

This is more than worth the waiting.
Eagerly awaiting part 7!

Great stuff. I sincerely hope you dont abandon this great world you build and find the time to bring us more of this awesome story.

Beautiful!

This work gets more and more beautiful! It already is incredible! Please keep writing!

Excellent and enchanting reading.

I was about to have a productive day. Then this chapter appeared. Well done. Thank you. Now I shall resume my training with some new insight.

Course of action...

Course of action:

1. Finish the story.
2. Hire writer's agent (on contingency)
3. Publish story.

Your work is top shelf. Accept it--believe it. Your sex scenes are not so freaky as to relegate Tristan to some micro-niche corner of a website. The rest reminds me somewhat of Zelazny and The Chronicles of Amber. I think you're that good.

Also, as a suggestion, you may want to submit the next chapter to the Sci-Fi/Fantasy section. You may pull in a few extra readers.

Keep it up, and thanks!

Heck, I side with the comments of everybody else, and among many other things I would underline the important fact, to me, that you do not belong to what I call "the 'it's' brigade". Do get in touch if you ever crowdfund publication. Do consider the move to sci-fi. Do please, please, with a cherry on top if need be, hurry up with more. Thanks.

Toto, I've a feeling we are not is Kansas anymore!

Wow, in one short chapter you have completely changed the whole complection of the story. A transition from a place of safety to one of mind controlled fear. The interactions among the 5 were interesting and Jet comes out of it looking like an obvious leader. And Rinzai reminds me of Jackie Chan ... part comedian, part ninja.

The pictures you paint continue to amaze me and no longer will I try to predict the storiy's direction as your storyline is infinitely better. I am also thrilled that you are committed to the rest of the story and I look forward to buying it and supporting your obvious talent. Best wishes PJ

Possiable story path

This is a great story line, my biggest fear is the you will quit before it is finished.
I would like to see a path that creates a stronger combined Chi with Tristan and Jade, as a combined entity.

Wait, what

My only disappointment was that it had an ending. I really just wanted to keep reading. Forever. And ever.

Seriously, though. I love this story. I love the lore, I love the world, I love the mechanics. Will we find out why Derrick went into total defense mode and went down so easily in the end? Or is it just assumed that he was too hard pressed from fighting with his Chi, his Art, and with Clay and unable to do all three for too long?

We're finally getting a bare amount of answers, but maddeningly, they just lead to more questions. I both love and hate that.

Since Tristan is heading off in another direction from the majority of his supporting cast, are we going to see some quick POVs from their perspective while he's off on his apprenticeship? Or will they just be separate for a time, and then when Tristan reunites with them, they'll all be super glad to see him and will have a sudden growth in their abilities? It's the cliche for the genre, but it works. But at the same time, I can't help but feel that we as readers would get a bit more perspective on how powerful/special Tristan is if we actually see how difficult it is for someone "normal", even if they are extremely talented. (Also, I don't want to see Jade disappear from the story)

Well done, this is a beautiful story, and I am going to go completely mad waiting for the next instalment.

Did it again

I love Patrick Rothfuss and his King Killer Chronicles, but I dare say this is even better. Your ability to world create and draw in a reader is masterful. Bravo.

Not gonna lie though. Kinda pissed that we didn't get to see him go all god mode in his duel and crush derrick with sheer power hah. Tease.

I really Really REALLY want to suggest this story to friends, but ahem, the initial sex scenes make that rough. I assume these will be edited based off of your comments about growing as an author? (Hey, read this most amazing story ever that I found on this literotica site. If you can get past the intial rapey aspect I'm sure you're going to love it!! --- is what I can't say lol.)

I will be patiently and eagerly (yeah both are possible) awaiting your next installment.

This series must go on.

Dear writer,

This storyline has captivated me so well that I have forgotten masturbation. I absolutely love this series. This series must absolutely go on. It has the perfect amount of drama and very well described sex scenes. It sounds like something straight out of a anime series or something. So please DONOT stop writing and finish this series. I hope to see Emmit get laid pretty soon and Tristan and Jade dominating each other in bed through mind control now that both of them are without their necklace. And also please do add more background story of Alice. Till now she has been portrayed as this extrovert sexual dynamo but I think she deserves more dimensions to her character.

Kindly take these under consideration for the future chapters.

Warm Regards,
An enthusiastic admirer of your work.

So freaking awesome. Please keep it up

Amazeballz

To DorenWinslow

I believe the answer to your questions about Derrick were answered in the passage; Derrick noticed the extra shadow, and stopped fighting in order to try and warn Tristan.

Thank you!

I have thoroughly enjoyed this series and look forward to the next installment.
You have fully embraced your writing Chi and the words flow like Tristan's soapy sword. Please keep shaping this clay.

So amazing

Definitely one of the best story series so far! Really hope you will push out more chapters soon.

This story is incredible, easily my favorite on the site. The world building is amazing and there's a perfect balance between getting answers to our questions and having new ones take their place. I feel like that's an area that people struggle with a lot in these sorts of stories, because there isn't really a way to do it that works consistently across all stories. It ultimately seems to be more about how interesting the questions and answers are, rather than quantity (here I'd say we get several new questions for every question answered, but they're all legitimately intriguing questions).

I've read plenty of stories here and elsewhere that I've desperately wished would be monetized so I could read them quicker, but this is the first time I've ever wanted companion tales, a la The Silmarillion, that just flesh out the world in addition to the characters in our story.

As a constructive suggestion, I think some of your intentionally confusing passages (like Tristan's dream state towards the end) are actually *too* confusing at times. I find myself being confused enough that it takes me out of the story a bit in those passages. I understand that might be your goal, however, and concede that you do a great job of it if your intention is to disorient the reader. I just worry that if you were to publish some might find that off-putting. I honestly think that with some (very, very minor) editing, and perhaps taming of the sex scenes, you could do a lot more with it than sell it on Amazon. You've got plenty of gushing comments to prove that you have a legitimate audience and I think any publishing group would be crazy not to work with you.

Also, I agree with some previous comments about potentially posting the next chapter or the rewrites in sci-fi/fantasy. I think Mind Control is off putting for some in that they find it generally rape-y, but this story is so far beyond that and deserves a larger audience. Honestly, I breeze through the sex scenes to get to more plot anyway.

Sigh

Every time I read your story I get drawn in, I can't wait til the next one

What a coincidence

My name is Tristan, that's how I discovered this story lol

Amazed

Thank you for this story, I can't wait for the next episode.

Awesome story.

Thoroughly enjoying this story. Please bring on the next chapter quickly!

Best Possible Story Here

Amazing Work!

A beautifully told take that I hope keeps coming till you reach a logical conclusion. Thanks for giving it to us

a little ditty, about Jade and Tristan,

....doing the best they can.

great stuff. i understand the category of Mind Control since they can and Shae definitely does so I'm not asking for a change in category. i was just hoping for less rape-y stuff like between June and the Sultan. maybe eventually, you can publish a less sexed up version so i can share this with friends.

otherwise

this work is so good and it's going to be a hard wait for more. I also hope Tristan and Thomas can make peace.

Amazing Fantasy

This is more abstract than fantasy that I normally read but vividly and consistently told. There seem to be infinite plot levels, like 3D chess. But please keep a consistent theme (you have so far). Otherwise it would be too difficult to follow, particularly when the story is told in volumes that are released months apart. And when will you make this commercial?

Mixed Emotions

Love your story line but am often confused when you wander off into the "what ifs" of his confused mind. I will be looking forward to what comes from your amazing mind to paper in the future. Thanks. BK.

Bravo.

Story has the feel of a Terry Brooks story. Well Done.

I want more

I am so addicted to this story! I love all of your creative ideas. can't wait to see where it goes!

love the story

it even had a little bit of Bleach in it, well done i might add.