Tristan's Tale Pt. 06

More Awesomeness

Please keep the Thread running !

Ramjet75

WE WANT MORE!

Like mentioned before, best story on literotica, and checking in every week hoping for a new chapter.

sucked me in for sure

OK...Can i do something else now?
Let a lot of obligations slide.
Was it print mediated mind control that has me feeling kinda cross-eyed?

Riveting

I've read every chapter of this story non-stop as soon as it releases, impossible to put down, can't wait for more. Keep up the good work. I hope there is a happy ending to it all.

Great story!!

I'm really enjoying this series. Not a lot of sex, but the sex that there is is a natural, organic part of the story line. The dialogue and character development are really great. Seems like Jade has sort of shifted over time?
I really can't wait for the next chapter!! Don't keep me hanging!

Great story

I've thoroughly enjoyed reading this fantastic tale. Been really looking forward to chapter 7, hope you're almost ready to release it!

Best wishes.

A surprising and amazing find! Can't wait for the next installment.

Thank you

Wow that was truly an amazing Story!! Please don't stop, i want to know what happens next!

MMMMMMOOOOOOORRRRRREEEERR!!!!!!!!!!!

Dude I bing read this series over the last few days and its fucking awesome. I don't mean to rush but I NEED MORE OF THIS!!! It's just so fucking good like fuck this story is awesome and we've only seen like a few weeks of his life I'm looking forward to his chi coming back and a whole new world of issues he's gonna have to face. Thank you.

This is by far the best story I have read on multiple sites.

I have to say that I very much enjoy your writing. It is very descriptive and enjoyable to read. The way you mold the story together is well.. insane I hope you continue writing this EPIC series.

By far the best story I have read (that technically isn't published)

This story. Man, oh man. This story is easily the best I have ever read, which hasn't been published to the public masses. The writing is fantastic. but don't think that there aren't flaws with it. There are very small mistakes here and there. Some sentences don't make sense (that could just be me), though all the words are spelled correctly. I have binge read this over the last 36 hours. No rest for the wicked, I'm afraid.

There is the fact that the upload schedule is every 4-5 months. I'm afraid that I might forget about this story, and leave it entirely. Hopefully that won't happen, but all we can do is hope that:
1. You don't die
2. You don't have an accident that will prevent you from either writing or thinking
3. You abandon this story

Thanks,
Finneyyy

any updates on pt 7?

thanks for the amazing work

Please

MORE

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Duck, let me know when you get this published, I'll buy a copy!

Damn

I didn't know derrik's art was so strong lol. Great story bro, love the character development.

Some parts could....

Brilliant; when you shine, man, you shine.

Maybe this part 6 is a little greener, a rougher, more wet-behind-the-ears draft, and if so then that would explain the more marked unevenness. I do like a weave that's not universally tight or consistent; I like some knobbly parts, some thin, some glittery threads... but then again some parts could be re-worked. I couldn't actually read a couple of pages, as the story thread had gotten so thin I got pushed right out. Dang it.

So, I'd like to suggest that some parts need more definition/realism/depth or something; some parts read like Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance... or Quinn's Ishmael. Not that those are bad things at all; but they serve a purpose in philosophical/sociological/whatever studies. For your tale maybe the pedagogy shouldn't show up quite so much. For example: Tristan's approach and conversations and dueling with the Jhinn: I lost interest (and I didn't want to!) during that part.

Also, you use a mechanism too often: creating a question that the reader may be asking, and giving it legitimacy without answering or explaining...except of course, defining/recognizing the question. You are using it as a strategy to keep disbelief at bay and the strategy itself is fine but don't use it so often. There are too many questions, right now, that need more background and actual answers; just take a few of them and describe the answers, put the answers into the background/foreground/action of your story.

Definitely would benefit from application of more fine-toothed-comb proofreading, from start to finish.

Hope this is helpful. Shine on.

Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awesome story Please keep writing.... Waiting eagerly!

Can't wait for the rest of the story!

In between taking care of an 8 month old baby and moving into a new apartment, I have been completely stuck to my phone completely caught up in your story. It's completely amazing! If you ever decide to publish (and I really think you should) I'll be one of the first in line to buy it. Seriously looking forward to find out what happens next. Keep up the good work!

Please don't give up on this story!

Been checking in just about everyday for months. Absolutely love your story! Keep it up!!!

Anazing

I NEED another part
You sir have talent

wow.

You have a wonderful grasp of storytelling. I thoroughly enjoyed this. Please, please continue and continue quickly so I can read more of this. Honestly, right up there with some serious fantasy heavyweights in my mind (Jordan, Sanderson, Butcher etc.
Also, over red needs to get working on dream drive, that sort of story/ game has been a huge dream (drive, lololol) of mine. Take care

MORE!

Great read, keep it up!