I wish i had bever stopped smoking...this story gave me cancer anyways.
by
Anonymous09/29/16
" he sat on top of Hannah's bare naked fully shaved chest about to expose her snatch." - There's nothing I love more than a woman with a fully shaved chest.
The basic idea is alright, but you need to slow things down and expand on every sentence, because you skipped through it so quickly that the reader has no idea what is going on and who is doing what to whom.
fuck me that was shit
Crap.
Worse than crap.
Shark-shit.
Damn...
I wish i had bever stopped smoking...this story gave me cancer anyways.
" he sat on top of Hannah's bare naked fully shaved chest about to expose her snatch." - There's nothing I love more than a woman with a fully shaved chest.
Screwy story
A guy be beaten by a petite girl and then fucked to death...So is the story
You need an editor.
And probably a better writer too.
It's a mess
The basic idea is alright, but you need to slow things down and expand on every sentence, because you skipped through it so quickly that the reader has no idea what is going on and who is doing what to whom.
#
WTF ???
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