This doesn't work You begin by telling us about them, then it's telling the story to her. You're telling this story from three different ways. Switching back and forth is difficult and of poor writing. Are you telling us or her? Minus two.
Great story. I gave you 5 stars to offset poor little Annony ' s (AKA Will Shakespeare Jr) hurt grammatical sensibilities.
Extremely poor. Anything worse than a story that doesn't arouse you is bad english.
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English
Business Trip
This doesn't work
You begin by telling us about them, then it's telling the story to her. You're telling this story from three different ways. Switching back and forth is difficult and of poor writing.
Are you telling us or her?
Minus two.
5
Great story. I gave you 5 stars to offset poor little Annony ' s (AKA Will Shakespeare Jr) hurt grammatical sensibilities.
Bad way of writing
Extremely poor.
Anything worse than a story that doesn't arouse you is bad english.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Business Trip or
More submissions by nhy69ijn.