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Business Trip

bynhy69ijn©
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous09/30/16

Business Trip

This doesn't work
You begin by telling us about them, then it's telling the story to her. You're telling this story from three different ways. Switching back and forth is difficult and of poor writing.
Are you telling us or her?
Minus two.

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by jasjon10/01/16

5

Great story. I gave you 5 stars to offset poor little Annony ' s (AKA Will Shakespeare Jr) hurt grammatical sensibilities.

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by Anonymous11/30/16

Bad way of writing

Extremely poor.
Anything worse than a story that doesn't arouse you is bad english.

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